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I’m gay and depressed because of it? watch

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    Hi.

    I am currently in year 11 (15 years old) and have came to the realisation (about a year ago) I am gay.
    I’ve realised I can’t ever see myself in a sexual relationship with a woman, I find women themselves very attractive, but the thought of having sex with one doesn’t really seem appealing to me.

    Now that’s over with I’ll continue to the part I want to speak about:
    I wouldn’t say I am being bullied, but I am (if that makes sense), especially by a certain group of people. I constantly get teased for my voice by said group of people, personally I think my voice is completely fine. I don’t consider my voice to be high pitched/feminine, in all honestly it’s fairly deep and monotone, but if I even say 1 word they’ll mock me and say it in the most obnoxious effimnate voice.
    I also get bullied from this certain group of people because I am not interested in typical male sports such as football, rugby and cricket, I much prefer ‘feminine’ sports such as volleyball, badminton and rounders as I am fairly decent at playing them (got asked to play in the volleyball team in year 10 lol). I’ve basically brought this problem upon myself as I don’t want participate in the ‘masculine’ sports, but when they’re constantly screaming ‘******’ at you for not partipating, it makes it difficult for me even to atttempt to try.
    I’m also mocked because majority of my friends are female, which for some reason is a massive problem for them. I’ve always found it easier to talk to girls during my time at high school as the boys are normally sex deprived lunatics who are only interested in girls, xbox/ps and making sure no one gets their education in lesson (though there are a few exceptions to this).

    Basically this group of people make the 6 hours of school a living hell for me. They make me feel very isolated, but I don’t want to concern anyone with my problems, which is only worsening the problem. I’ve also become very socially awkward in fear of being judged for anything I do.

    Next part is a bit of a mess so please try and follow haha:
    About 3 years ago a boy moved to my school from a different country and I was basically partnered with him for about a month to make conversation with him during lessons so he could improve his English skills. We grew extremely close and I would consider him one of my best friends at school.
    However, our friendship has took a turn in a weird direction. About 6 months ago he would randomly say thing such as ‘I love you’, ‘you look cute today’, etc. I never retaliated to this in any way as I genuinely thought he was testing to see if I was actually gay, but this grew to the point to whenever we did something it turned into ‘date’ and he’d ask do stuff like hold my hand. I was actually very uncomfortable about it and knew deep down he was toying with me because he probably knew I had feelings for him.
    Now, starting about 2 weeks ago he’s decided he wants nothing to do with me. Whenever I try to talk to him in school I’m ignored, when ever I text him I’m ignored and when ever I snapchat him it’s opened and yet again ignored. I don’t really understand what I’ve done for him to ignore me so hardcore like this. I thought it could be because I basically friendzoned him, but he’s not gay and if he is he’s playing it off very well to most people. I don’t want to lose one of my best friends, especially a male which I’m very comfortable around. Losing him as one of my friends would practically worsen the state I am already in as he really did screw with my brain.

    I don’t mind if no one replies to this thread, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
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    first of all hi, I'm gay too! lesbian actually
    there are always people in this world that will be against you but we can't let them win, hold your head high it does get better. I'm 18 now but back a some years j was hiding who I was simply as I didn't want people to hurt me over it. I decided to tell my best friend and that went well but after telling more and more people I got some negative reactions, it was then it got me hard that some people were *****y like this. so I suffered through. my advice to you is to suffer through as well and find your people. at 15 you may not have them but they're around you waiting. on the subject of your friend I think the best thing to do is explain to him everything, clear the air, tell him you thought he was messing with you, if he's still opening and reading your messages he's still attached to you and is willing to listen.
    best wishes for your future and it will get better trust me I am a show of this, I have my people and I'm confident in who I am now. it just takes time
    sam
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