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    I am beyond lonely at Uni. Its at the point where i'm alone in my room every evening - mostly crying due to how bored and lonely i am. I started Uni really well, me and the girls in my flat went out loads and met loads of other people. But arguments in the flat happened and two of the girls are no longer my friends (and i have sinced moved flats). I think they somehow took all the friends i made in freshers with them. I have friends on my course, we walk together and we sit together in lectures. But they all have there own friends. I have this girl in my flat who i would consider a friend, but lately she has been going off with another group of people and has left me out. For example, i asked if she wanted to do something and she said she couldnt becasue she was ill. But then an hour later she is out drinking with some other friends. I am starting to think it is just me. I do think i struggle with anxiety, i over think every situation possible, and find it SO hard to talk to people. I was considering joining a society but there its too late to join most now, and my anxiety wouldn't let me leave the flat alone to go to a place full of people i dont know. I dont want this to be my university experience. I have never had a friend groups, or any close friends and i hoped at uni it would be differnt. I dont know what to do. everyone has there own friends now and i dont know how to find new people - or even talk to people. Do i start at a new university ( but be in debt an extra year) or is there a way i can still make my experience at this university better?
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    (Original post by hollycxo)
    I am beyond lonely at Uni. Its at the point where i'm alone in my room every evening - mostly crying due to how bored and lonely i am. I started Uni really well, me and the girls in my flat went out loads and met loads of other people. But arguments in the flat happened and two of the girls are no longer my friends (and i have sinced moved flats). I think they somehow took all the friends i made in freshers with them. I have friends on my course, we walk together and we sit together in lectures. But they all have there own friends. I have this girl in my flat who i would consider a friend, but lately she has been going off with another group of people and has left me out. For example, i asked if she wanted to do something and she said she couldnt becasue she was ill. But then an hour later she is out drinking with some other friends. I am starting to think it is just me. I do think i struggle with anxiety, i over think every situation possible, and find it SO hard to talk to people. I was considering joining a society but there its too late to join most now, and my anxiety wouldn't let me leave the flat alone to go to a place full of people i dont know. I dont want this to be my university experience. I have never had a friend groups, or any close friends and i hoped at uni it would be differnt. I dont know what to do. everyone has there own friends now and i dont know how to find new people - or even talk to people. Do i start at a new university ( but be in debt an extra year) or is there a way i can still make my experience at this university better?
    Have you looked into societies. You seem to have written that off but there’s a huge range in activities that might be available.

    Another great way to make friends is to get a job.

    Does your halls have a tv/cinema room? Getting out of your room to watch things with company is worthwhile. If the room isn’t well used then get some cheap microwave popcorn and put up some posters for a weekly film/binge watch night. There’s very likely people in your halls feeling exactly the same as you and just desperately waiting for someone to reach out. You can reach out- it’s scary but it’s not going to make you feel more lonely!

    Starting again is very risky - you could end up in exactly the same situation.
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    (Original post by PQ)
    Have you looked into societies. You seem to have written that off but there’s a huge range in activities that might be available.

    Another great way to make friends is to get a job.

    Does your halls have a tv/cinema room? Getting out of your room to watch things with company is worthwhile. If the room isn’t well used then get some cheap microwave popcorn and put up some posters for a weekly film/binge watch night. There’s very likely people in your halls feeling exactly the same as you and just desperately waiting for someone to reach out. You can reach out- it’s scary but it’s not going to make you feel more lonely!

    Starting again is very risky - you could end up in exactly the same situation.
    I have looked into societies but they are mostly closed to submission untill next year. And the ones left are societies that don't tend to meet up much.
    There is no cinema or social room in my halls at all:/
    I have been applying to jobs but there isn't many. I had an interview for one and didn't get it.
    So I'm kinda stuck:/
    Thankyou tho
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    (Original post by hollycxo)
    I have looked into societies but they are mostly closed to submission untill next year. And the ones left are societies that don't tend to meet up much.
    There is no cinema or social room in my halls at all:/
    I have been applying to jobs but there isn't many. I had an interview for one and didn't get it.
    So I'm kinda stuck:/
    Thankyou tho
    Well that sucks. Maybe ask the student union how you would go about setting up a society. At my old uni students set up a picnic society and a film club that showed films in the lecture theatres.
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    It's definitely not too late to start joining societies and getting involved. A lot of societies allow membership throughout the year (at my uni they had a second Fresher's event where you could sign up) and you can also join in second/third year as well. The people you make friends with at the start of your degree won't necessarily be your best friends at the end of your degree. As long as you stay confident and positive, get out there, meet and socialise with others, you are bound to make new friends that share the same interests and personality as you.

    You could also look into volunteering as well, as part of your university or through local schemes. Have a look at your union or your local volunteer centre.

    You need to keep yourself busy - the worst thing is to stay in your room all of the time and cry.
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    (Original post by hollycxo)
    I have looked into societies but they are mostly closed to submission untill next year. And the ones left are societies that don't tend to meet up much.
    There is no cinema or social room in my halls at all:/
    I have been applying to jobs but there isn't many. I had an interview for one and didn't get it.
    So I'm kinda stuck:/
    Thankyou tho
    Really? What societies have you been looking at? What societies are left?
    Most accommodations hold social events throughout the year - are you connected to their page on Facebook or WhatsApp?

    Don't be put off applying for jobs - keep going, or look to gain experience through work experience or volunteering.
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    Really? What societies have you been looking at? What societies are left?
    Most accommodations hold social events throughout the year - are you connected to their page on Facebook or WhatsApp?

    Don't be put off applying for jobs - keep going, or look to gain experience through work experience or volunteering.
    Hey, there are societies like the gaming society or fashion society - none of which I have interest in and when looking on there Facebook they don't meet up much. My accomodation is private (as I applied late to halls) so they don't really do much. I've looked into doing a summer volunteering programme but they all require some kind of money which I dont have. And without a job I won't be able to afford aha. Thankyou tho
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    Have you tried looking into what clubs there are in your local area outside of uni? You may make some new friends there! Asking for advice from staff at your uni might be a good idea as well, they may know what to do! Also when it comes to applying to jobs, just try applying again and again every day, you have to try lots of attempts to get into one sadly! Keep trying though, the more you apply the more likely you are to get hired somewhere <3
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    Also, I know it's probably not helpful but the longer you are on the course, the closer you'll get to the people you're studying with! Maybe you'll be close friends with some of the people on your course by next year, u never know <3
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    It's not late joining socities. You could also join clubs.

    Be positive, friendly, ask about the other person, what course are they doing, what made them choose their course and their ambitions.

    As others members have suggested, you could try volunteering, see what voluntary activities are on at your university union etc.

    I hope this helps:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.

    Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

    Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

    Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

    Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!
 
 
 
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