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    I think you've done as much as you can here - it's not your fault she kissed you, and you told your boyfriend about it right away. You might need to give him a bit of time to get his head around it, and work out where he stands on trust. I don't think his worries are founded though; it's not like you initiated anything, and you can't control other people's actions.
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    even 3-4 seconds is a long time

    It doesn't take that long to react and withdraw

    If a 70 year old man pulled the same move you'd have fled within a second

    Technically you cheated [even though you did not initiate it], but as it was with a girl it seems like your bf isn't that bothered about it.

    Sort yourself out and make sure it doesn't happen again, because if it happens again and it's with a guy .. I can guarantee he won't take it as well....
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    even 3-4 seconds is a long time

    It doesn't take that long to react and withdraw

    If a 70 year old man pulled the same move you'd have fled within a second

    Technically you cheated [even though you did not initiate it], but as it was with a girl it seems like your bf isn't that bothered about it.

    Sort yourself out and make sure it doesn't happen again, because if it happens again and it's with a guy .. I can guarantee he won't take it as well....
    You’re a **** and wrong. She was slight drunk so reactions the slower so 5 seconds is not that long. Stop making her feel guilty when she did nothing wrong.
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    (Original post by RantingWhovian)
    You’re a **** and wrong. She was slight drunk so reactions the slower so 5 seconds is not that long. Stop making her feel guilty when she did nothing wrong.


    As a straight man, if a gay man planted a kiss on me ..even if I was drunk it would not take me anywhere near 5 seconds to pull away...

    OP enjoyed the kiss and went with it for a while.....
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    hi, the best thing you did was stop kissing her and letting her know that your boyfriend wouldn’t be happy, from then, she knew not to try anything else. but at the end of the day, you went out clubbing, there’s gonna be loads of people looking for some affection and hitting on you but yeah, it’s down to you to get yourself out and far away from that as you have a bf. you text him aswell, you could of carried on kissing her and lied to him or you could of stopped kissing her and not tell him but you did the right thing by telling him. i just think he needs to understand that you’re young and people are gonna find you attractive and it isn’t ur fault. from your post, it looks like your boyfriend could perhaps have relationship anxiety which makes him worry about the ‘what ifs’ and because something like that happened, he’s thinking the worst. but, this isn’t his fault as he could of been mentally abused in the past? idk. i’m the same with my partner when it comes to her going out because she’s young and obviously attractive. i think the worse about everything nearly and that’s something i’ve gotta overcome. it’s nothing to do with the trust hopefully as i trust my partner 100%. it’s my anxiety what makes me think the way i do. just give him some time to come around and speak about it with each other
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    (Original post by RantingWhovian)
    You’re a **** and wrong. She was slight drunk so reactions the slower so 5 seconds is not that long. Stop making her feel guilty when she did nothing wrong.
    She literally kissed somebody else whilst in a relationship. I'm sorry, but you could be completely hammered and it'd take you MUCH less than 5 seconds to pull out of an unwanted kiss. Actually go and count 4-5 seconds... it's a long time to kiss someone you don't want to. She should feel some guilt.

    That said, long term it shouldn't be that big a deal, I'd be more worried about the boyfriend not liking you going out in the first place and feeling he was 'proven right'... not a good sign.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    but as it was with a girl it seems like your bf isn't that bothered about it.
    I've seen this happen a lot. Even though it's still cheating, a lot of guys don't seem to be as bothered if it was a girl who kissed their girlfriend as opposed to if it was a guy.
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    (Original post by RantingWhovian)
    You’re a **** and wrong. She was slight drunk so reactions the slower so 5 seconds is not that long. Stop making her feel guilty when she did nothing wrong.
    Maybe she shouldn't drink as much? 🤔
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    (Original post by PlayWithMarkers)
    She literally kissed somebody else whilst in a relationship. I'm sorry, but you could be completely hammered and it'd take you MUCH less than 5 seconds to pull out of an unwanted kiss. Actually go and count 4-5 seconds... it's a long time to kiss someone you don't want to. She should feel some guilt.

    That said, long term it shouldn't be that big a deal, I'd be more worried about the boyfriend not liking you going out in the first place and feeling he was 'proven right'... not a good sign.
    The other person kissed her, she was shocked and drunk. Obviously it’d take a few seconds for her to realise what’s going on and that she should pull away
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    I’m a bit worried that people seem to be focusing on this kiss rather than the comment that the bf doesn’t like the OP going out etc.

    Sounds like there is a trust issue here. Why wasn’t his response along the lines of ‘are you okay?’ and “what can I do to help?”

    Perhaps this has been a positive thing if true colours are coming to light?

    Just an alternative perspective...

    Good luck
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    much appreciated. you did what you thought was best x
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    You ain't loyal though

    you stood there [presumably enjoying it] for like 4/5 seconds

    actually count out loud 4/5 seconds, that's a long ass time

    The only reason you're not getting dumped right now is because your bf has a girl on girl fetish and is willing to let it slide......
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    If someone drink drives and crashes into something, the fault is still with he or she who has been driving.
    This may be unpopular to hear, especially in a country where drink-drunk culture is very popular, but if you're drinking to a point where you are knowingly inhibiting your cognitive and motor abilities, maybe you should be a bit more responsible when drinking.

    That said, please don't misconstrue that as people knowingly taking advantage of others in an intoxicated state are not at fault.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Of course, my very long-term boyfriend should dump me because someone else kissed me and I stopped them immediately, texted him and left.


    you are actually a joke

    you spent THIS long enjoying the smooch

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