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Kicked out at 16 - Help?? watch

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    This is a long post so a tldr is gonna be at the bottom. I just want advice/help/whatwouldyoudo if possible.

    I’m 16, in first year of A Levels at local sixth form (English Lit, Biology & History) and on Monday morning was kicked out by my stepdad (been in my life since I was 5.) How this came about was that the previous evening I had attempted to go in my boyfriends car (parents don’t want me to get in his car as he had a seizure a couple months back but was cleared by DVLA - I understand their concerns) and they caught me. This caused my stepdad to tell me to go home and he shouted at my boyfriend in the street and basically told him to ‘leave’ but using much more explicit terms.

    I went inside and all my electronics were immediately taken away and my parents were shouting at me etc. I went up to my room and then my boyfriend came back with his sister and asked if I was ok (I didn’t know they were coming back - I wasn’t answering my phone and they were concerned as my stepdad has a fiery reputation.) My stepdad went out and told my boyfriend he will kill him if he ever comes near him again, called him many other names and then my boyfriend’s sister explained they were worried about me and also that he had sexual allegations against me and they were calling the police. My stepdad stormed back in and called me down to ask what this was about. I explained that I had told my boyfriend months ago that I felt really uncomfortable when he made comments about my backside and when he would slap it (albeit in a playful manner but still.)

    Fast forward a couple hours and the police were round to ask what had gone on as they were called and everything was explained and they left with no further action. When the police were there they were sort of acting as mediators as my stepdad said I would never be able to see them again, that their whole family was trouble etc and my mum was saying I could but a lot less restricted then I used to be.

    I wake up to my mum saying I’ve been kicked out and have to live with my dad who lives an hour away. I’ve been labelled as manipulative, controlling, seeking attention and vindictive for letting this all happen. Bare in my mind my mum was ‘fine’ the night before and I had no indication I would be kicked out. She said this was all my own fault. My dad can’t have me the whole time as he goes away for business a lot so for the past two nights I’ve had to stay at a family friends which again is an hour away from my original home and college and work (which I’ve had to quit.)

    I’m feeling lost, abandoned and hopeless. My mum is saying I’m never allowed back in the house unless I break up with boyfriend. I suggested I would move in with said boyfriend so I could still go to school and work etc. She said that would never happen in a million years. She is trying to arrange for me to stay at a friends (indefinitely) and will even pay for them to take me.

    I have a tracker on my phone so my mum knows where I am at all times (though I’ve had that on for months and before this even happened.) My parents are saying if I felt so uncomfortable I would have said something but I feel like I can’t talk to my parents - they’re very strict / unwelcoming / cold, even to my friends.

    TLDR: I’ve been kicked out as mum has been pushed by my stepdad and they want me to break up with my boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is a long post so a tldr is gonna be at the bottom. I just want advice/help/whatwouldyoudo if possible.

    I’m 16, in first year of A Levels at local sixth form (English Lit, Biology & History) and on Monday morning was kicked out by my stepdad (been in my life since I was 5.) How this came about was that the previous evening I had attempted to go in my boyfriends car (parents don’t want me to get in his car as he had a seizure a couple months back but was cleared by DVLA - I understand their concerns) and they caught me. This caused my stepdad to tell me to go home and he shouted at my boyfriend in the street and basically told him to ‘leave’ but using much more explicit terms.

    I went inside and all my electronics were immediately taken away and my parents were shouting at me etc. I went up to my room and then my boyfriend came back with his sister and asked if I was ok (I didn’t know they were coming back - I wasn’t answering my phone and they were concerned as my stepdad has a fiery reputation.) My stepdad went out and told my boyfriend he will kill him if he ever comes near him again, called him many other names and then my boyfriend’s sister explained they were worried about me and also that he had sexual allegations against me and they were calling the police. My stepdad stormed back in and called me down to ask what this was about. I explained that I had told my boyfriend months ago that I felt really uncomfortable when he made comments about my backside and when he would slap it (albeit in a playful manner but still.)

    Fast forward a couple hours and the police were round to ask what had gone on as they were called and everything was explained and they left with no further action. When the police were there they were sort of acting as mediators as my stepdad said I would never be able to see them again, that their whole family was trouble etc and my mum was saying I could but a lot less restricted then I used to be.

    I wake up to my mum saying I’ve been kicked out and have to live with my dad who lives an hour away. I’ve been labelled as manipulative, controlling, seeking attention and vindictive for letting this all happen. Bare in my mind my mum was ‘fine’ the night before and I had no indication I would be kicked out. She said this was all my own fault. My dad can’t have me the whole time as he goes away for business a lot so for the past two nights I’ve had to stay at a family friends which again is an hour away from my original home and college and work (which I’ve had to quit.)

    I’m feeling lost, abandoned and hopeless. My mum is saying I’m never allowed back in the house unless I break up with boyfriend. I suggested I would move in with said boyfriend so I could still go to school and work etc. She said that would never happen in a million years. She is trying to arrange for me to stay at a friends (indefinitely) and will even pay for them to take me.

    I have a tracker on my phone so my mum knows where I am at all times (though I’ve had that on for months and before this even happened.) My parents are saying if I felt so uncomfortable I would have said something but I feel like I can’t talk to my parents - they’re very strict / unwelcoming / cold, even to my friends.

    TLDR: I’ve been kicked out as mum has been pushed by my stepdad and they want me to break up with my boyfriend.


    At 16 years of age you are old enough to stay at home unsupervised when your parents go away. Some 16 year olds even live on their own. I suggest you tell your parents you are perfectly capable of looking after yourself for a few days when your dad goes away.

    Seems like your step dad wears the boots tbh, imo he should not have the right to boot out a kid that's not even his.

    All I can suggest really is to get your real dad to talk your step mum into allowing you back and make her see how out of order your step dad is and that he shouldn't be able to kick you out..
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    So let me get this right, because you are dating a guy (albeit not a great sounding one) who drives and has a medical condition you have been kicked out the house? How is that relevant enough a reason?

    Seems like its just an excuse to get rid of you. You can legally live by yourself and it is up to you if you do that. I suggest you seek support from a teacher at your school or college, they'll be able to help.
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    [QUOTE=ANM775;76366212]At 16 years of age you are old enough to stay at home unsupervised when your parents go away. Some 16 year olds even live on their own. I suggest you tell your parents you are perfectly capable of looking after yourself for a few days when your dad goes away.

    Seems like your step dad wears the boots tbh, imo he should not have the right to boot out a kid that's not even his.

    All I can suggest really is to get your real dad to talk your step mum into allowing you back and make her see how out of order your step
    (Original post by xEmilyxx)
    So let me get this right, because you are dating a guy (albeit not a great sounding one) who drives and has a medical condition you have been kicked out the house? How is that relevant enough a reason?

    Seems like its just an excuse to get rid of you. You can legally live by yourself and it is up to you if you do that. I suggest you seek support from a teacher at your school or college, they'll be able to help.
    The reason I’ve been kicked out is seemingly because I’ve manipulated / attention seeking / trying to start a drama to my boyfriend to accuse my stepdad of these sexual allegations which were ‘vindictive’ - even though they are true and my stepdad admitted it (however he said he didn’t think it was enough to go to the police.)
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