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Still Feeling **** After Break-up watch

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    Here goes;

    I got into a relationship last year just after finishing uni, and following the sudden death of my mother. It was with my best friend's ex missus, and for the first few months things felt great. Even after she went back to uni for her second year, I still visited her and spent a few nights. We would message and call each other every day and night. She said she didn't feel safe without me there.

    Then out of the blue she calls me up, to tell me she got sexually assaulted by some bloke on a night out, and she was sorry. I was shocked. I told her to go to the police.

    Our relationship continued, however, she started to believe I was only in it for the sex, whereas she meant so much more to me than that. She also claimed I didn't respond correctly to her telling me about the rape. So we started to argue online about this, with her getting colder and colder. In the end, she went silent for like a week. I messaged her after I saw pics on fb of her with other men (turned out to be gay men) and questioned her about it. She said that me and her were never official and I had no right to ask her about her personal life.

    Over the last few months it's been random snap chats from her, and occasional messages, which usually ended in me telling her I wanted her back (often pathetically). This went on until I spoke to her ex (my former mate) about the situation, and confessed we had been together. I just felt he had a right to know, I was also seeking answers as to what she was like. He informed me that he had been speaking to her himself, and she had been telling him she missed him and they were planning on meeting up. I felt sick. I had got in the way of their relationship, and ruined chances of them reconciling. She blamed me and told me she didn't want to speak to me again.

    She then turned around and messaged me to apologize for being horrible to me, and said she was going to do her best to get over her ex. She congratulated me on getting a new job. But then out of the blue, the following week again she gets nasty, tells me we are not friends and I should go and ruin someone else's life now.

    This brings me to today, where I've had some bereavement counselling for my mother, and am back at work. However, I really hate my life atm. I feel I have no friends, whereas before I was in contact with the girl and her bf constantly. I just wish my closest friends hadn't abandoned me in my hour of need. I don't seem to feel the motivation to do anything or care about anything anymore. Her ex told me that me and him were good, yet for whatever reason we don't talk anymore. I hate the fact that the pair of them are at uni, especially her, and surrounded by people, compared to a year ago when I was supporting her emotionally when she was feeling lonely in her relationship. I feel like I must be such a crap person to have ended up so lonely, despite being in my early 20s with so much to aim for.

    Well, thank you if you managed to read all of that. I deeply appreciate any help with my problems.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Here goes;

    I got into a relationship last year just after finishing uni, and following the sudden death of my mother. It was with my best friend's ex missus, and for the first few months things felt great. Even after she went back to uni for her second year, I still visited her and spent a few nights. We would message and call each other every day and night. She said she didn't feel safe without me there.

    Then out of the blue she calls me up, to tell me she got sexually assaulted by some bloke on a night out, and she was sorry. I was shocked. I told her to go to the police.

    Our relationship continued, however, she started to believe I was only in it for the sex, whereas she meant so much more to me than that. She also claimed I didn't respond correctly to her telling me about the rape. So we started to argue online about this, with her getting colder and colder. In the end, she went silent for like a week. I messaged her after I saw pics on fb of her with other men (turned out to be gay men) and questioned her about it. She said that me and her were never official and I had no right to ask her about her personal life.

    Over the last few months it's been random snap chats from her, and occasional messages, which usually ended in me telling her I wanted her back (often pathetically). This went on until I spoke to her ex (my former mate) about the situation, and confessed we had been together. I just felt he had a right to know, I was also seeking answers as to what she was like. He informed me that he had been speaking to her himself, and she had been telling him she missed him and they were planning on meeting up. I felt sick. I had got in the way of their relationship, and ruined chances of them reconciling. She blamed me and told me she didn't want to speak to me again.

    She then turned around and messaged me to apologize for being horrible to me, and said she was going to do her best to get over her ex. She congratulated me on getting a new job. But then out of the blue, the following week again she gets nasty, tells me we are not friends and I should go and ruin someone else's life now.

    This brings me to today, where I've had some bereavement counselling for my mother, and am back at work. However, I really hate my life atm. I feel I have no friends, whereas before I was in contact with the girl and her bf constantly. I just wish my closest friends hadn't abandoned me in my hour of need. I don't seem to feel the motivation to do anything or care about anything anymore. Her ex told me that me and him were good, yet for whatever reason we don't talk anymore. I hate the fact that the pair of them are at uni, especially her, and surrounded by people, compared to a year ago when I was supporting her emotionally when she was feeling lonely in her relationship. I feel like I must be such a crap person to have ended up so lonely, despite being in my early 20s with so much to aim for.

    Well, thank you if you managed to read all of that. I deeply appreciate any help with my problems.
    I honestly can't exactly give advice for this thing, but I feel sorry for ya mate.
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    Sounds like she's a bit of a nutcase tbh who needs to sort her emotions out. Definitely not you causing the problems, it sounds like it's her.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    Sounds like she's a bit of a nutcase tbh who needs to sort her emotions out. Definitely not you causing the problems, it sounds like it's her.
    She also sometimes posts stories on snapchat, saying she feels the world is against her, and she is drowning on dry land.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She also sometimes posts stories on snapchat, saying she feels the world is against her, and she is drowning on dry land.
    She could have a mental health issue if she's experiencing these false realities. Obviously I'm not diagnosing anything, but that could be a likely explanation.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    She could have a mental health issue if she's experiencing these false realities. Obviously I'm not diagnosing anything, but that could be a likely explanation.
    Yeah, but this is what both upsets me and makes me a little bit angry. After what I've been through myself last year, I thought she might have been a little bit nicer especially as I need all the support I can get.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She also sometimes posts stories on snapchat, saying she feels the world is against her, and she is drowning on dry land.
    A bit melodramatic isn't she? I'd cut contact with her if I were you, delete her off all of your social media. Focus on yourself and try to find some better people you can be friends with. Best of luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, but this is what both upsets me and makes me a little bit angry. After what I've been through myself last year, I thought she might have been a little bit nicer especially as I need all the support I can get.
    Yeah I would have thought so too, but if she's wrestling with her own demons she probably isn't aware of the effect she's having on others.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She also sometimes posts stories on snapchat, saying she feels the world is against her, and she is drowning on dry land.
    My condolences about your mother.

    It's time to move on from this girl you've been seeing though. For your own well-being, Remove her from all of your social media accounts and stop replying to any messages or calls. She is not on your side and will ruin you.

    You have to take care of yourself, and contact with this madame is not the way to go about it. There will be other people, I promise, and they will be better if you seek them. In the meantime, try and pick up a hobby, be it an instrument, or simply going to the gym and working out.
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    (Original post by ChillonthePorn)
    My condolences about your mother.

    It's time to move on from this girl you've been seeing though. For your own well-being, Remove her from all of your social media accounts and stop replying to any messages or calls. She is not on your side and will ruin you.

    You have to take care of yourself, and contact with this madame is not the way to go about it. There will be other people, I promise, and they will be better if you seek them. In the meantime, try and pick up a hobby, be it an instrument, or simply going to the gym and working out.
    I haven't heard from her in a month, yet as much as I wish things could go back to how they used to be, I can't help but wonder if she ever truly cared to have gotten over me so quickly.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haven't heard from her in a month, yet as much as I wish things could go back to how they used to be, I can't help but wonder if she ever truly cared to have gotten over me so quickly.
    I'm afraid there are some things we will never know. It's more important to take your thought, energy and time and put it into something else.

    What is clear is that you cared. You deserve better, even if you're denying it right now.
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    (Original post by ChillonthePorn)
    I'm afraid there are some things we will never know. It's more important to take your thought, energy and time and put it into something else.

    What is clear is that you cared. You deserve better, even if you're denying it right now.
    You are right I need to move on. I just feel so ****ing alone and I miss her so much right now.
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    She's demented. Stay away mate 🗡 Psycho
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    She's demented. Stay away mate 🗡 Psycho
    She's an adored and respected member on here.
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    So terribly sorry about your mother.

    You’re having a crappy time and that sucks. Life sucks. Honestly it’s just so unfair.

    The best thing you can do is work on yourself. Work on yourself so fkin hard that you’ll turn heads at every corner. Start something big. Do something huge. Work on a hobby and become a goat at it.

    Wish you luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She's an adored and respected member on here.
    Wow the endorsement of TSR holds so much weight duh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So terribly sorry about your mother.

    You’re having a crappy time and that sucks. Life sucks. Honestly it’s just so unfair.

    The best thing you can do is work on yourself. Work on yourself so fkin hard that you’ll turn heads at every corner. Start something big. Do something huge. Work on a hobby and become a goat at it.

    Wish you luck
    Thanks I appreciate it. I actually play a few instruments and used to be focused on gigging and was planning on recording an album before all this **** came up. Now it's hard to find the motivation, especially as the bereavement counselling is digging all this grief up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks I appreciate it. I actually play a few instruments and used to be focused on gigging and was planning on recording an album before all this **** came up. Now it's hard to find the motivation, especially as the bereavement counselling is digging all this grief up.
    Also, I feel like i was probs just a rebound.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This brings me to today, where I've had some bereavement counselling for my mother, and am back at work. However, I really hate my life atm. I feel I have no friends, whereas before I was in contact with the girl and her bf constantly. I just wish my closest friends hadn't abandoned me in my hour of need. I don't seem to feel the motivation to do anything or care about anything anymore. Her ex told me that me and him were good, yet for whatever reason we don't talk anymore. I hate the fact that the pair of them are at uni, especially her, and surrounded by people, compared to a year ago when I was supporting her emotionally when she was feeling lonely in her relationship. I feel like I must be such a crap person to have ended up so lonely, despite being in my early 20s with so much to aim for.

    Well, thank you if you managed to read all of that. I deeply appreciate any help with my problems.
    I'm so so sorry for the loss of your mother, I really cannot imagine anything more upsetting. At least you're getting some help for that I agree with the others though, you really need some time on your own I think and you need time to get over losing your mum. Forget the girl, she's been especially cruel to you in my opinion, especially after what you've been through, and why should you deal with that? If that means leaving your friend behind too then so be it, because wherever he is she'll also be, and you need some positivity and support in your life! You can and will make more friends in future. I'm a girl of similar age to you, early 20s and I thought my life was over just a few months ago. I had no friends, was crazily depressed, no social life, no job satisfaction. Within a few months it's flipped on it's head. I have made some lovely friends by arranging different things with work colleagues, and life is getting better and it will get better for you too! Go out with people from work, ask them down the pub one evening even if it's just you and someone else. Go shop for new music or read through some music mags and find inspiration for your music, maybe record something or get mixing some sounds up. Delete your snapchat and take that distraction away. Get off social media for a while if you have to. Put all that energy into something and surround yourself with lovely new people, even if you can't be bothered at all, just try and I promise you it will make a difference in time. Being alone is not a reflection of your worth either. It means there is no-one worthy enough to deserve your company just yet. But they're out there, you will find them, and one day you'll be happy again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm so so sorry for the loss of your mother, I really cannot imagine anything more upsetting. At least you're getting some help for that I agree with the others though, you really need some time on your own I think and you need time to get over losing your mum. Forget the girl, she's been especially cruel to you in my opinion, especially after what you've been through, and why should you deal with that? If that means leaving your friend behind too then so be it, because wherever he is she'll also be, and you need some positivity and support in your life! You can and will make more friends in future. I'm a girl of similar age to you, early 20s and I thought my life was over just a few months ago. I had no friends, was crazily depressed, no social life, no job satisfaction. Within a few months it's flipped on it's head. I have made some lovely friends by arranging different things with work colleagues, and life is getting better and it will get better for you too! Go out with people from work, ask them down the pub one evening even if it's just you and someone else. Go shop for new music or read through some music mags and find inspiration for your music, maybe record something or get mixing some sounds up. Delete your snapchat and take that distraction away. Get off social media for a while if you have to. Put all that energy into something and surround yourself with lovely new people, even if you can't be bothered at all, just try and I promise you it will make a difference in time. Being alone is not a reflection of your worth either. It means there is no-one worthy enough to deserve your company just yet. But they're out there, you will find them, and one day you'll be happy again.
    Thanks, I needed that. x
 
 
 
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