Turn on thread page Beta

What should I do? Being stalked on Twitter (long post) watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay, this is a very very long story, but I'm just going to make it as short as possible, and people can ask questions along the way

    Trigger warning! There is some talk of overdose. I have put this in spoilers so you don't have to read it

    In 2015-2016 I was in my 2nd year at A level. I suffered from severe depression + failed my a levels because of it, I was very alone and counted on 2 friends at school. I relied on these people heavily because all my other friends just blanked me because I was so depressing. One of those friends also suffered from mental illness, she was my best friend.

    Spoiler:
    Show



    She took an overdose one day and after talking to her about it (for about an hour) I went to my head of year. I didn't want to go to them straight away in case it freaked my friend out but obviously, my mind was always thinking I will definitely tell them, no matter what she would say. Anyway, it was all sorted out, she went to hospital and was fine.

    I took an overdose, twice at school. I'd done it before, she knew about them. Both times, she did not do anything. She just sat and watched. She pulled a sort of :/ face, you know that face you pull when someone you don't really know starts telling you about all their problems. This is not what I'd expect from a best friend. She didn't tell any teachers or anything.




    In May 2016 she told me she was in love with me and things which is fine, I knew she was bi, I however was straight so I just made sure she knew I didn't like her back but it was fine and we could carry on as normal. From then she started making me feel quite uncomfortable, keep telling me how sad she is we can't be together and when I kissed this guy she got really mad and upset at me, having a go at me and telling me not to do that.

    I was very vulnerable at this time, and obviously she knew that (I would probably be classed as a vulnerable adult). She started telling people we kissed and then that we were going out, she was making me feel so bad that I just went along with it. In private I would ask her why she was doing this and she would just sort of laugh as if I was stupid. I broke up with her in August 2016 because she started tweeting things about me, turning my friends against me etc. ( I don't count the last 2 months though because we barely even talked). Her tweeting would carry on when I'd asked her to stop and then she did it after we broke up so I had to block her, it was making me mentally worse.

    Flash forward a few months, I'm feeling great, I no longer have someone, who what I would say, was emotionally abusing me. My friend (not from school) noticed that my ex's tweets were almost in response to mine, very strange if you've blocked someone. I became paranoid, more depressed and made that apparent on my twitter so she would see what she was doing to me. April 2017 I finally had confirmation she was stalking me from somewhere. I confronted her, she told me she made another account to look at my profile with and even though she could see the effect it had on my mental health, she carried on. She promised this account would be deleted and again I moved on in my life.

    Now, from time to time, I get the paranoia again because sometimes things are too much of a coincidence of her tweets to mine, but I've had it to the back of my mind so it hasn't affected me as badly.

    However, at the start of the new year, I went off twitter for a week, I decided from the past year I would use twitter a lot less because it completely damaged my head. Funnily enough, my friend noticed that my ex also did not tweet until I started tweeting again. Weird right? She 'deleted' her fake account and her main account is still blocked.

    I check the fake account, I find it still on twitter. This time though, I was on my computer and it said "Account Created April 2017". I thought that's odd, that's when I confronted her and she told me she was using this account to stalk me on for months.

    What's your initial thought to this? This account is on private by the way so I can't see anything except account created, number of followers and number following. This account was following around 50 others and had 1 follower. I got my friend to check, her main account does not follow this account. My initial thought it that when confronted, she made ANOTHER account, something to just show me, knowing I would block it (Initially it was blocked, the way I found the account was that it was still on my blocked list - more evidence she can't have been using this account since I blocked it). When in reality, the account she's been stalking me on, is something different, and she won't show me because she wants to see my profile + doesn't want me to block it. My guess is that the account following this fake account, is the real one she's using to stalk me.

    I know, I know I sound really crazy and obsessed, but you really have no idea what the paranoia last year did to me, let alone the actual relationship. I wish I realised what kind of person she was when she did nothing about my suicide attempts, that seems like it should've been a sign. It's just infuriating to someone telling you "oh I'm so sorry I never wanted you to feel like that" "I feel awful" and for them to carry on with what they're doing every single time. She did this when she was tweeting rubbish about me, when she turned my friends against me, and now with her stalking me online.

    What do I do? I know maybe I sound like it's over dramatic and stupid but all I want is for her to leave me alone! I already tried confronting her, and I was way too nice. Should I try catching her out? I just want to be free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I could really do with some advice
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could really do with some advice
    You've blocked her yet you still keep checking up on her? SO what if she tweets in response to you, you can't see it unless YOU are the one seeking it out. Just stop giving her attention ffs
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JoshDawg)
    You've blocked her yet you still keep checking up on her? SO what if she tweets in response to you, you can't see it unless YOU are the one seeking it out. Just stop giving her attention ffs
    Sorry I didn't make it clear, I can't see her tweets, one of my friends has her on twitter, she just shows me screenshots when she's noticed something odd (when it looks like she's on my twitter) And obviously I can't say in words how the paranoia damaged my mental health because it's very difficult to describe, I think it's one of those things where you only really know what it feels like if you've gone through being mentally ill and being paranoid, but it destroys it. I'm not trying to give her attention, I want her out of my life but as described above it's extremely hard to do when they're constantly watching you and have ignored your wishes and lied about stopping. I know I can never get anyone to fully understand but imagine you felt like you were being constantly watched. By someone you asked to leave you alone. She's completely disrespecting me and I won't stand for it anymore. I don't know what to do to get her away.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry I didn't make it clear, I can't see her tweets, one of my friends has her on twitter, she just shows me screenshots when she's noticed something odd (when it looks like she's on my twitter) And obviously I can't say in words how the paranoia damaged my mental health because it's very difficult to describe, I think it's one of those things where you only really know what it feels like if you've gone through being mentally ill and being paranoid, but it destroys it. I'm not trying to give her attention, I want her out of my life but as described above it's extremely hard to do when they're constantly watching you and have ignored your wishes and lied about stopping. I know I can never get anyone to fully understand but imagine you felt like you were being constantly watched. By someone you asked to leave you alone. She's completely disrespecting me and I won't stand for it anymore. I don't know what to do to get her away.
    You know, I completely understand you and where you are coming from as I have experienced this myself, though not to such an extent. It really is something terrifying and can haunt you... but you have to take control of it, and being overly nice won't really cut it.

    Personally, I think you should stop using twitter completely, an focus on other important aspects of your life that makes you and keeps you happy. Also, if you do not want to see her tweets, ask your friend not to show you her tweets unless it is something serious.
    If your ex continues to make you uncomfortable even after you are not giving her any attention, call the police because its violating personal safety.
    Another thing is that make sure your parents are aware of this situation as it does help if you have support from your family.

    With regards to your mental health, have you considered having a personal therapist?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You know, I completely understand you and where you are coming from as I have experienced this myself, though not to such an extent. It really is something terrifying and can haunt you... but you have to take control of it, and being overly nice won't really cut it.

    Personally, I think you should stop using twitter completely, an focus on other important aspects of your life that makes you and keeps you happy. Also, if you do not want to see her tweets, ask your friend not to show you her tweets unless it is something serious.
    If your ex continues to make you uncomfortable even after you are not giving her any attention, call the police because its violating personal safety.
    Another thing is that make sure your parents are aware of this situation as it does help if you have support from your family.

    With regards to your mental health, have you considered having a personal therapist?
    Thank you for being so understanding I did decide that if she did it again I wouldn't be nice. Not that I'd call her names or anything, I just won't let her get away with it. I do think about stopping twitter, but it's the idea of having aspects in my life being affected by this person. I like using twitter, and if I stop because of her, in my head I'm just thinking damn my life's still being affected by her. Not saying twitter is my life hahaha but it's sort of the principle. I have thought about getting the police involved, but I don't think there's any point unless she was doing it in real life rather than online.

    I go to my GP every few weeks and I have a counsellor but they're going to refer me to the adult mental health team because I'm not getting any better.
    • TSR Support Team
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    PS Reviewer
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Can you not make your account private? Block all her known accounts, then if your account is made private then she won't be able to see with any new accounts.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Little Tail Chaser)
    Can you not make your account private? Block all her known accounts, then if your account is made private then she won't be able to see with any new accounts.
    I did do that from like after I confronted her for like 3/4 months, so by which time I would've thought it wouldn't even be on her mind anymore and I was free so I went back on public bc I didn't want my actions to be affected by her in any way. I know changing your twitter account sounds like nothing because it basically is, it's just the principle in my head, I know it's so dumb. It's the thing of how that would be affecting my life which I know sounds really stupid if it's causing me this stress. In my head it's sort of like "how is it fair if I have to change to private, or delete my account, not go on twitter and she can get away with having created fake accounts to stalk me". I realise how irrational this thinking is but I think that's from my depression, it makes me think really irrationally which I know it's really stupid. I just don't want her to get away with it, I don't think it's fair. But it's hard to get any evidence. So yeah I think going on private again would probably be a good idea.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for being so understanding I did decide that if she did it again I wouldn't be nice. Not that I'd call her names or anything, I just won't let her get away with it. I do think about stopping twitter, but it's the idea of having aspects in my life being affected by this person. I like using twitter, and if I stop because of her, in my head I'm just thinking damn my life's still being affected by her. Not saying twitter is my life hahaha but it's sort of the principle. I have thought about getting the police involved, but I don't think there's any point unless she was doing it in real life rather than online.

    I go to my GP every few weeks and I have a counsellor but they're going to refer me to the adult mental health team because I'm not getting any better.
    I felt exactly the same when I knew I needed to delete instagram. I had the fear that when my friends find out and ask why I removed instagram, or even if anyone brings it up, it would bring back the memories. But at the same time, I thought to myself that I am doing this for a better long term cause and that even though I'm feeling like this now, I d promised i'd learn to deal with it, with time. And I really did- and you can too. Time does heal most wounds...

    With this, it is all about the mindset. Social media is addicting, I know; I was completely glued to instagram, but the more you distract your mind away from it, by deleting the account and app, for prolonged periods of time, you will later realise that you have lost the 'addiction' aspect of the site. It made it so much easier for me to deal with the emotions when anyone 'triggers' it again. Maybe perhaps, a long time later, you can open up a new account and start afresh, with you in control of who sees what.

    I do have to say though, deleting twitter will not suddenly make you forget the experience. I have never forgotten my experience, and I doubt you will 'forget' yours. You may even have moments of relapse, like I did. However, what you can do is not let it control you; not let it affect your life. It helps you accept what has happened, as the past is in the past and helps you move on.

    I hope the adult mental health team, helps you in this time.
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    The girl soundscape crazy AF why don’t you make your profile private?
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    The girl sounds crazy AF.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    good luck anyway!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    man thats messed up but to be honest... its the internet. in a perfect world you could easily block someone such that any account from their ip address is blocked. but the charm of the internet is its accessibility - virtually anyone in the world can see what you post if you have a public profile. its all very public. id suggest leaving twitter, or at least make a new account without disclosing your name. maybe even migrate to another social media platform, like tumblr, where anonymity is more assured without compromising self-expression/personalisation.

    or you can delete your accounts. keep a few so you can keep contact with people - like whatsapp, snapchat - and forget the rest. it's hard to move on from social media, but trust me, youll be better off without it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I felt exactly the same when I knew I needed to delete instagram. I had the fear that when my friends find out and ask why I removed instagram, or even if anyone brings it up, it would bring back the memories. But at the same time, I thought to myself that I am doing this for a better long term cause and that even though I'm feeling like this now, I d promised i'd learn to deal with it, with time. And I really did- and you can too. Time does heal most wounds...

    With this, it is all about the mindset. Social media is addicting, I know; I was completely glued to instagram, but the more you distract your mind away from it, by deleting the account and app, for prolonged periods of time, you will later realise that you have lost the 'addiction' aspect of the site. It made it so much easier for me to deal with the emotions when anyone 'triggers' it again. Maybe perhaps, a long time later, you can open up a new account and start afresh, with you in control of who sees what.

    I do have to say though, deleting twitter will not suddenly make you forget the experience. I have never forgotten my experience, and I doubt you will 'forget' yours. You may even have moments of relapse, like I did. However, what you can do is not let it control you; not let it affect your life. It helps you accept what has happened, as the past is in the past and helps you move on.

    I hope the adult mental health team, helps you in this time.
    Thank you so much You've been really helpful
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TheAlchemistress)
    The girl soundscape crazy AF why don’t you make your profile private?
    (Original post by TheAlchemistress)
    The girl sounds crazy AF.
    (Original post by Layla233)
    good luck anyway!
    (Original post by Arima)
    man thats messed up but to be honest... its the internet. in a perfect world you could easily block someone such that any account from their ip address is blocked. but the charm of the internet is its accessibility - virtually anyone in the world can see what you post if you have a public profile. its all very public. id suggest leaving twitter, or at least make a new account without disclosing your name. maybe even migrate to another social media platform, like tumblr, where anonymity is more assured without compromising self-expression/personalisation.

    or you can delete your accounts. keep a few so you can keep contact with people - like whatsapp, snapchat - and forget the rest. it's hard to move on from social media, but trust me, youll be better off without it
    Thank you everyone I'm glad you all understand. Yes I think she is quite crazy. I am a bit afraid that if I do delete or go off twitter, she will try and stalk me in real life, it's as if it's an addiction to her or something. It might be better to keep it online because in real life I'd be a lot more afraid but then either way I'm not going to be happy. I think I will go on private first, check all my followers and block the accounts I think could be her (although I don't think any are) and maybe just go off twitter for a while so if she goes on my account, nothing new will be there.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 2, 2018
The home of Results and Clearing

2,869

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.