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Self sabotaging myself in terms of relationships? watch

    • Thread Starter

    Ok. First off, I’ve gone through similar questions asked on this format and found little advice that applies close enough to help.
    Since you are most likely looking for something to pin your focus on, -as is why you are reading/ answering relationship questions- im just going upfront about this (stupid) situation within my life.
    As girl that has been 5’9 from the sixth grade I’ve never been popular with boys.
    + my bushy untrimmed eyebrows maybe didn’t help.
    Blah blah blah
    Jumping back to now. I am a young adult, attending school, with other adults,
    yet my last boyfriend was over six years ago. -and lasted about three weeks-
    Given I was 13 during that time, my v card still is thoroughly intact
    These days i seem to be pinning over almost any guy that I find attracted to but simultaneously just too emotionally stunted to even hold eye contact.
    Now that I’m an adult my height doesn’t make automatically me man in a boys eyes.
    In fact, I have no problems with my outright physical appearance nowadays.
    I’m clean, learned to use tweezers properly, I love fashion and beauty rituals. (you can see my pfp I have no disfigurements, blah blah)
    And my ass is really nice

    BUT I am (hardly) ever approached, and I know it’s a combination of intimidation and my own “don’t look at me” vibe I throw out to anyone I’m even remotely attracted to
    if I could get a little advice as to how to train myself into being more upfront towards those I’m attracted to I’d be very appreciative
    Maybe even just some words of encouragement idk at this point.
    I feel kinda like there is a inner personality of mine very upset at the lack of romantic relations throughout the span of my whole life and it’s getting rowdier daily.
    ( likely why I took the depressing route of asking for advice on a public server)
    thank u for reading

    Maybe make the first move if you have found someone you like. They might not always come to you because asking someone out is a scary thing. Don't worry too much. I am 18 and never had any kind of love relationship. (kissing a girl at 11 does not count.) I don't really care at the moment I am focusing on other things.

    Lot's of people underestimate the value of eye contact. It's something I used to struggle with too, but I fought my way out of my shy box. The thing is, you can tell a lot about a person just from making eye contact, and really I've found that's the best way to non-verbally get someone to talk to you, or give someone an impression that you like them. Lingering eye contact and a smile can do wonders and doesn't take much effort. You can't beat yourself up because of a lack of romantic relationhsips in life, there's more to life than that, but I would say start small and work your way up. Strike up a conversation, make a mutual observation, be a bit flirty. Once you build up your courage, you can break out the obvious things: 'Do you want to grab lunch? Do you want to grab drinks?' It'll get easier the more you practise, I promise. Just don't take any rejections personally, chalk it up to experience, and you'll be fine. Hope this helps!

    There's nothing depressing about asking for advice on here. It's anonymous. No one will ever find out. And it's better to ask than to just bumble along in life.

    With you being 5'9", and with an athletic build, men will find you extremely attractive. Regardless of your eyebrow grooming.

    Read the Neil Straus and the classic Dale Carnegie books. And follow the advice in them. Challenge yourself to stretch your comfort zones - especially in the area of starting conversations with people you've just met.

    Once people break the ice with you, they will discover that your inner beauty matches your outer beauty.
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