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How do I stop being a homophobe? watch

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    Hi,

    I've grown up with homophobic views and recently I've wanted to change this. About a year ago, two friends of mine came out as bisexual and now I treat them both differently to my other friends and try to avoid them. Now I try to interact with them more though.

    Whenever I see anything that relates to the LGBT community I have prejudice opinions on them even though I try not to. I don't want to think like this and try to tell myself that there's nothing wrong with those people and that they have ordinary lives just like mine, yet my views are hardly changing if at all.

    Does anyone have any advice?

    Thanks!
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    I’d say that u need to accept that they are still the same person. Their sexuality doesn’t define them. My advise would be you treat them as how u wna be treated and don’t discriminate because they may like the same or opposite gender. At the end of the day it won’t change them n you will end up meeting many ppl that may be part of LGBT community.
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    They say that the best way to get over phobias is to expose yourself to them.

    Better get down the gay bars and get stuck in, OP. Don't forget to lube up!
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    (Original post by Sani882)
    I’d say that u need to accept that they are still the same person. Their sexuality doesn’t define them. My advise would be you treat them as how u wna be treated and don’t discriminate because they may like the same or opposite gender. At the end of the day it won’t change them n you will end up meeting many ppl that may be part of LGBT community.
    Well that's what I tell myself, but my thought process is still strange. I'm sort of subconsciously homophobic (well recently anyway, before I was openly homophobic). For example we had a change of seating plan in my maths class and I was told I sit next to someone who is openly gay and instantly I felt sort of annoyed but after like 2 minutes I didn't care, but I want to remove this instinctive dislike I initially had.
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    They say that the best way to get over phobias is to expose yourself to them.

    Better get down the gay bars and get stuck in, OP. Don't forget to lube up!
    One time I was actually invited to one by one of my friends and I turned hostile
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    (Original post by wishilivedonmars)
    Hi,

    I've grown up with homophobic views and recently I've wanted to change this. About a year ago, two friends of mine came out as bisexual and now I treat them both differently to my other friends and try to avoid them. Now I try to interact with them more though.

    Whenever I see anything that relates to the LGBT community I have prejudice opinions on them even though I try not to. I don't want to think like this and try to tell myself that there's nothing wrong with those people and that they have ordinary lives just like mine, yet my views are hardly changing if at all.

    Does anyone have any advice?

    Thanks!
    Just try and immerse yourself in it as much as possible. Talk more to people who are LGBT+ and you will slowly stop caring and that instinctual feeling will pass.
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    (Original post by mionio1069)
    Just try and immerse yourself in it as much as possible. Talk more to people who are LGBT+ and you will slowly stop caring and that instinctual feeling will pass.
    I'll give that a shot but I have no clue where I am gonna find LGBT+ people aside from gay bars... there seems to be a lot at my school though so I guess I'll try and socialise with them.
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    Have you challenged the specific thoughts you have? The initial emotional reactions you’re having (hostility, disgust) are made from the thoughts that are hardwired into you. Ask yourself why does it bother you? From what you’ve written (not wanting to sit next to them, be around them) it sounds like you don’t want to be associated with gay people and possibly being perceived as gay yourself? If this is the case, then remind yourself that what people think of you or the people you’re with shouldn’t and doesn’t matter. Challenge the thought.

    All I can do is speculate, but i’d recommend doing some internal myth busting. I’m bisexual myself and it’s really refreshing seeing people recognising prejudice and making an effort to change. It can take long time but the fact that you’re working in it is really admirable.
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    (Original post by wishilivedonmars)
    Hi,

    I've grown up with homophobic views and recently I've wanted to change this. About a year ago, two friends of mine came out as bisexual and now I treat them both differently to my other friends and try to avoid them. Now I try to interact with them more though.

    Whenever I see anything that relates to the LGBT community I have prejudice opinions on them even though I try not to. I don't want to think like this and try to tell myself that there's nothing wrong with those people and that they have ordinary lives just like mine, yet my views are hardly changing if at all.

    Does anyone have any advice?

    Thanks!
    As someone who was once very homophobic but is now bisexual, I have told four of my friends about this and they too were homophobic. The way they got around it is because they realised that I was the same person as before and that my sexuality only changed who I liked.

    As for the LGBT community, while I am not part of it I guess you could just try to be empathetic with them and see most aren't what you see on youtube, they literally just want to be the same as everyone else and for people not to treat them differently.
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    Can you think of why?

    Was it your upbringing?
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    Have you challenged the specific thoughts you have? The initial emotional reactions you’re having (hostility, disgust) are made from the thoughts that are hardwired into you. Ask yourself why does it bother you? From what you’ve written (not wanting to sit next to them, be around them) it sounds like you don’t want to be associated with gay people and possibly being perceived as gay yourself? If this is the case, then remind yourself that what people think of you or the people you’re with shouldn’t and doesn’t matter. Challenge the thought.

    All I can do is speculate, but i’d recommend doing some internal myth busting. I’m bisexual myself and it’s really refreshing seeing people recognising prejudice and making an effort to change. It can take long time but the fact that you’re working in it is really admirable.
    Thanks for the response, it's true I do have a problem with people thinking I'm gay as I have been told that I do look slightly feminine so that could be a contributing factor. Recently I have been feeling bad so I have tried to sort of "re-socialise" with my bisexual friends and not care what other people think. I'm going to try and mix in with other members of the LGBT community to identify and iron out any internal problems I have. Once again thank you for your response!
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    (Original post by Pyrogenic)
    As someone who was once very homophobic but is now bisexual, I have told four of my friends about this and they too were homophobic. The way they got around it is because they realised that I was the same person as before and that my sexuality only changed who I liked.

    As for the LGBT community, while I am not part of it I guess you could just try to be empathetic with them and see most aren't what you see on youtube, they literally just want to be the same as everyone else and for people not to treat them differently.
    Yeah I do assume personalities based on the media's image of LGBT people. I used to think the same of Muslims but when I started making Muslim friends they explained to me what Islam really says on non-believers and since then I've been fine with Muslims. I suppose I have to get over the media's portrayal of gay people and accept they're just normal people who want to, as you said, want to be the same as everyone else.
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    (Original post by angelike1)
    Can you think of why?

    Was it your upbringing?
    Yes a bit. I was raised in a strict Catholic household where I was taught it's an abnormality and a perversion. However I know this isn't the case, and I'm just trying to make myself more accustomed to gay people.
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    Maybe the next time that happens to you, try to go over to the person and talk to them a bit, then you will realise there was nothing to hate them for and that will hopefully help reduce your homophobic thoughts.
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    (Original post by Shahiriyo)
    Maybe the next time that happens to you, try to go over to the person and talk to them a bit, then you will realise there was nothing to hate them for and that will hopefully help reduce your homophobic thoughts.
    Okay, I'll try with the person I sit next to in Maths.
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    Tomorrow go chat to your bisexual mates. Go clubbing, cinema with them
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    Tomorrow go chat to your bisexual mates. Go clubbing, cinema with them
    I'll give that a shot for sure! (I'm not old enough to go clubbing yet, but I will go cinema/to the park with them!)
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    just take it a little at a time
 
 
 
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