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I Asked Him Out... watch

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    (Original post by AspiringUnderdog)
    I'd just like to start off by thanking you for not insulting me as my message could have been seen as offensive.

    Also we don't know the story properly. Flirting with girls while she happens to be around is not the same as flirting with girls in front of her. If they have the same lectures or seminars for example then he shouldn't have to hold back just because someone else that likes him is in the room. Also we still don't know how the event of rejection turned out. He could have just said no to her to make it proper or shouted loud to embarrass her.
    Unless we know the truth we can't judge properly for or against her side I suppose.
    It's fine; I don't see the point in insulting someone because they have different views as I do and find that behaviour incredibly childish. It's rather rife on the internet.

    I disagree with you that "he shouldn't hold back just because she is in the same room". When you reject someone, someone who is a supposed friend as well, you do it with courtesy and respect especially if you are going to see them on a daily basis or everyone around them will too.

    Whilst we don't know the entire story like you say, the fact that he didn't give a reply and acted completely different to how he usually acts suggests that he could have handled the situation in a more mature way.
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    (Original post by AspiringUnderdog)
    To be honest I think that you've missed out details on purpose. If this guy was acting distant and giving attention to others why would you still bother in asking him out?

    Maybe he was being nice and then you got too needy so he tried to get the message out that he doesn't like you but since you didn't get it he did it in another way. Could you explain how he humiliated you? Did he make a big scene as soon as he saw you? Did you approach him or did he approach you?
    No, I haven't missed out any details on purpose. He seems very easily slighted, and I can pinpoint his distance started when I rejected him for sex. Unwittingly, because his advance was vague and I only put two and two together later on. I couldn't have done anything differently, I had no clue what was on his mind at the time. I tried to make amends, let him know I liked him by asking him on a date (rather that than bed straightaway for me) and his response was to ghost and then be nasty in person. I think I hurt his pride, and he has responded unforgivingly. I'm not needy, hell no!
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    (Original post by iAngely)
    In her defense, why would he ignore her text and then openly reject her in front of everyone? Wouldn't he take the easier route and just reply with "sorry I don't feel the same way" through text instead of flirting with other girls in front of her? He did that for a desired reaction, that's why.
    Thank you! He could easily have done that. We had been friendly and had a decent rapport prior for about six months, and had messaged online many times. I was only a text away.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I haven't missed out any details on purpose. He seems very easily slighted, and I can pinpoint his distance started when I rejected him for sex. Unwittingly, because his advance was vague and I only put two and two together later on. I couldn't have done anything differently, I had no clue what was on his mind at the time. I tried to make amends, let him know I liked him by asking him on a date (rather that than bed straightaway for me) and his response was to ghost and then be nasty in person. I think I hurt his pride, and he has responded unforgivingly. I'm not needy, hell no!
    I think how you reacted was actually smart even if it wasn't on purpose. It seems like you gained feelings for him yet he only wanted to sleep with you; his friendliness dwindled when he couldn't get what he wanted so it's good how the events turned out.

    I see so many girls catching feelings for a guy who only wants to sleep with them and then wonder why they don't want to date them when the sex has happened. As much as I hate to say it; don't sleep with a guy unless you're dating them or only want friends with benefits yourself because it creates a lot of problems otherwise.
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    (Original post by iAngely)
    I think how you reacted was actually smart even if it wasn't on purpose. It seems like you gained feelings for him yet he only wanted to sleep with you; his friendliness dwindled when he couldn't get what he wanted so it's good how the events turned out.

    I see so many girls catching feelings for a guy who only wants to sleep with them and then wonder why they don't want to date them when the sex has happened. As much as I hate to say it; don't sleep with a guy unless you're dating them or only want friends with benefits yourself because it creates a lot of problems otherwise.
    I think you're spot on, his advance came after especially heavy flirting in front of everyone (which is why I couldn't understand his coldness since) and I didn't pick up on it until later after I'd unwittingly rejected him. Maybe it was meant to happen that way because had I realised, I might have gone there and... Thank you for getting me, I tried to include necessary details as I didn't want to post a novel!
 
 
 
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