Fallen out with a friend over meeting up Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
It was also a FWB... we were seeing each other a bit when we lived in the same city ,but then it ended. Anyway, he moved to another town but we stayed in touch a lot online etc. and he was still flirty.

I suggested going to visit him he said no as it would be 'weird' and I 'expected something' but that we could meet for a drink in the capital 'with other friends./'

Then, a month later I was visiting my friend in a city an hour from where he lived, and I suggested meeting there for the day, but he just had excuses.

Then a few weeks later he started to be flirty again and asked when I'd be in the city.

He then went to the other city one week, a week that I wasn't there. He never asked me if i'd be there that week or even mentioned it until just before.

He was then leaving for a year abroad and he just said 'Oh maybe I'll be back at Xmas if not we'll see each other in a year.' I just felt like he didn't really care that much at all about meeting up and we argued. Then he started coming out with how he hadn't had time to see anyone/do anything etc.

Anyway during his whole year abroad we stayed in touch and he was flirty. He moved back and I suggest meeting up in his hometown as i'd never been, and he was again making the usual excuses but then finally confirmed a day before, even though I had to book my train etc.and then said 'Won't it be weird to see each other?'

A few months later he is now living 3h drive from mine. Again flirting online, I suggested meeting up ( it is always me) and he said 'Oh i'm busy for the entire month, but in November I can!' I have to admit that because of the past issues, I did not believe him and told him that I didn't want any more excuses etc. and it turned into another argument.

Anyway, he managed to find a free weekend for me, but tried to cance it 3 days before.

2 months later, things had settled and I said that we should meet up. He just told me "I'm surely gonna be working every weekend, but I'l tell you when I get my timetable/" and nothing else.
I asked if he wanted to meet and he said , yeah I do, just wait abit and i'll tell you!

A few weeks later he hadn't said anything. And again just the 'I don't know when I can meet up I'm always busy wait and i'll tell you."

The holidays were coming up and he'd said he would be in the town where some of my family lived. I asked him last week if he'd be there the following weekend and he said "God I told you I work weekends!! You really don't believe me do you!" And I told him I was perfectly aware that he worked weekends but that maybe he didn't work inthe holidays, there was no harm in asking etc.

I then asked if he didn't have any holidays from work or that if not I was free in the week in 6 weeks' time.

He then had a go at me to stop being so pushy and annoying him and that "he'd tell me" and I "needed to wait".

I know he is busy but he has had 3/4 friends come to see him. It's true he hasn't really been anywhere much but I haven't asked him to come to visit me, I've said I'd go to him when it's convenient. It's just that he insists he wants to but hasn't found any time at all in 7 months.. and it's always "I can't for the moment , wait and I'll tell you later."

Anyway, maybe I have been too insistant but it's just that he literally never says it unless I do. I'm not at all asking him to meet every weekend ,not even every month. The thing is he insists he wants to to a point where it makes him angry, but I just don't know. Anyway he's said he's tired of me having a go at him and that 'we'll maybe see each other later on if things are better.'

My other friends said that if he really wanted to, he would find time for me.

I don't know what to think but I feel really guilty now. It's just that every other friend is able to give me a concrete date, and everybody is busy.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#2
That said, he talks to me online (or did) all the time. Why not just tell me that you don't want to meet and then stop talking to me?
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#3
anyone, please?
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 9 months ago
#4
Alright, long story you got there.

1. If he wanted to see you he would.
2. I am in final year at uni, I did an year abroad too, and believe me I am not busy enough to have no time for 7 months.
3. Seems like you are more interested in him, than he is in you.
4. You do come across as a bit clingy
5. But you mention that he seems flirty to you over texts. Is he just that kind of a person? Or does he only do that to you?? If he does this to everyone, back off a bit, he just considers you a friend. If he only does it to you, then take his word for it, maybe he really is busy. And you nagging him won't help your cause. Back off for a bit, leave him hanging, stop initiating talks. If he is still interested he will talk to you, if not, you have already done too much damage to your cause. Either way, you need to back off
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Juvilation
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#5
Report 9 months ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Alright, long story you got there.

1. If he wanted to see you he would.
2. I am in final year at uni, I did an year abroad too, and believe me I am not busy enough to have no time for 7 months.
3. Seems like you are more interested in him, than he is in you.
4. You do come across as a bit clingy
5. But you mention that he seems flirty to you over texts. Is he just that kind of a person? Or does he only do that to you?? If he does this to everyone, back off a bit, he just considers you a friend. If he only does it to you, then take his word for it, maybe he really is busy. And you nagging him won't help your cause. Back off for a bit, leave him hanging, stop initiating talks. If he is still interested he will talk to you, if not, you have already done too much damage to your cause. Either way, you need to back off
Sounds like hes leading you along, **** him
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#6
Yeah, I'm sure I do come across as clingy. It's just that because of what's happened in the past it made me believe he doesn't actually want to.

I know 100% he is busy, but he told me that in 2 weeks' time one of his friends is coming for a few days. Last month, another friend was there for a couple of days too.

So of course I wonder why he has time for these friends to come but not me.

And when I say flirty, I mean very sexual comments etc..

But yeah, I'm going to not talk to him for at least a month, he seems really tired of me anyway..
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