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loneliness is unbearable at uni watch

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    i've always been a bit of a depressive person but i'm finding that it's so much worse when i'm uni and i've literally spent the last two days crying on and off in my room for no reason which would never happen at home. i'd say i'm the most sociable i've ever been in my life right now - i always say 'yes' to opportunities, go out with friends etc so i literally have no reason to feel this way. i'm trying hard to reach out to friends but my best friend is so flaky and i genuinely feel like she doesn't care about me enough to make time for me, and the more she cancels plans the more unmotivated i am to reach out to people. i have tried joining societies but none have worked out for me. i'm feeling pretty helpless right now and i was wondering if anybody had any tips to help tackle this feeling
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    Speak to a counsellor? Your uni should have somewhere to go and someone to talk to! And try making new friends who you don't feel lonely with, I know it's harder said then done, but just try to talk to someone in a class?

    UPDATE : Make a group chat of people on TSR in the same position as you, you'll all make each other feel less lonely!
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    (Original post by wickedtown)
    i've always been a bit of a depressive person but i'm finding that it's so much worse when i'm uni and i've literally spent the last two days crying on and off in my room for no reason which would never happen at home. i'd say i'm the most sociable i've ever been in my life right now - i always say 'yes' to opportunities, go out with friends etc so i literally have no reason to feel this way. i'm trying hard to reach out to friends but my best friend is so flaky and i genuinely feel like she doesn't care about me enough to make time for me, and the more she cancels plans the more unmotivated i am to reach out to people. i have tried joining societies but none have worked out for me. i'm feeling pretty helpless right now and i was wondering if anybody had any tips to help tackle this feeling
    we have some similarities, feel same . I am at uni too,...
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    (Original post by wickedtown)
    i've always been a bit of a depressive person but i'm finding that it's so much worse when i'm uni and i've literally spent the last two days crying on and off in my room for no reason which would never happen at home. i'd say i'm the most sociable i've ever been in my life right now - i always say 'yes' to opportunities, go out with friends etc so i literally have no reason to feel this way. i'm trying hard to reach out to friends but my best friend is so flaky and i genuinely feel like she doesn't care about me enough to make time for me, and the more she cancels plans the more unmotivated i am to reach out to people. i have tried joining societies but none have worked out for me. i'm feeling pretty helpless right now and i was wondering if anybody had any tips to help tackle this feeling
    What year are you in at uni?
    If you’re in first year you’ve literally got the world at your feet - as a third year make the most of the freedoms away from home and work and try you best to socialise even if you don’t feel like it (sounds stupid but it’ll stop you feeling guilty if you do). I also recommend getting more involved with people on your course - speaking out in seminars, getting involved in group work, trying to join course societies - sounds like hard work but you’ll thank yourself down the line when you can walk into a room and know at least 1 person you can comfortably talk to! If you’re truly unhappy though, take a break! It’s no bad thing to want to go home and detox for a bit - everyone does it, I did it and it actually helped because you come back almost wanting your freedom again!
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    Uni students can be very superficial and fake when it comes to friendship. The fact that there's a thread everyday with someone saying they have no friends at uni proves this. Get a part-time job or volunteer and you'll be able to make friends with people who aren't students.
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    (Original post by wickedtown)
    i've always been a bit of a depressive person but i'm finding that it's so much worse when i'm uni and i've literally spent the last two days crying on and off in my room for no reason which would never happen at home. i'd say i'm the most sociable i've ever been in my life right now - i always say 'yes' to opportunities, go out with friends etc so i literally have no reason to feel this way. i'm trying hard to reach out to friends but my best friend is so flaky and i genuinely feel like she doesn't care about me enough to make time for me, and the more she cancels plans the more unmotivated i am to reach out to people. i have tried joining societies but none have worked out for me. i'm feeling pretty helpless right now and i was wondering if anybody had any tips to help tackle this feeling
    I feel the same
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    (Original post by Juvia L)
    I feel the same
    (Original post by Shelly81)
    we have some similarities, feel same . I am at uni too,...
    i'm sorry that you're both going through tough times it is comforting at least to know we're not the only ones!

    (Original post by Lily048)
    What year are you in at uni?
    If you’re in first year you’ve literally got the world at your feet - as a third year make the most of the freedoms away from home and work and try you best to socialise even if you don’t feel like it (sounds stupid but it’ll stop you feeling guilty if you do). I also recommend getting more involved with people on your course - speaking out in seminars, getting involved in group work, trying to join course societies - sounds like hard work but you’ll thank yourself down the line when you can walk into a room and know at least 1 person you can comfortably talk to! If you’re truly unhappy though, take a break! It’s no bad thing to want to go home and detox for a bit - everyone does it, I did it and it actually helped because you come back almost wanting your freedom again!
    thank you for taking the time to help me <3 i was going to go home this weekend but the weather made it impossible. i did try to go to my course's society but it was a very small group of older students who were already good friends and i felt so uncomfortable! but maybe i will make it a goal to try again

    (Original post by katxlaurax)
    Speak to a counsellor? Your uni should have somewhere to go and someone to talk to! And try making new friends who you don't feel lonely with, I know it's harder said then done, but just try to talk to someone in a class?
    that's true, i just don't know whether my issue would be taken seriously. i do have friends on my course but i don't spend time with them outside of lectures/group work/seminars and i'm not sure how to change that, especially as everybody seems to have found their own group of friends at this stage. thank you for your response
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    (Original post by wickedtown)
    i've always been a bit of a depressive person but i'm finding that it's so much worse when i'm uni and i've literally spent the last two days crying on and off in my room for no reason which would never happen at home. i'd say i'm the most sociable i've ever been in my life right now - i always say 'yes' to opportunities, go out with friends etc so i literally have no reason to feel this way. i'm trying hard to reach out to friends but my best friend is so flaky and i genuinely feel like she doesn't care about me enough to make time for me, and the more she cancels plans the more unmotivated i am to reach out to people. i have tried joining societies but none have worked out for me. i'm feeling pretty helpless right now and i was wondering if anybody had any tips to help tackle this feeling
    I completely understand and I'm a bit of the same! Even though I'm at like my most sociable ever I do also feel like university life is so isolating... I'd agree, join a society - I joined one and automatically gained a couple of other friends which was pretty nice!



    (Original post by wickedtown)
    i'm sorry that you're both going through tough times it is comforting at least to know we're not the only ones!



    thank you for taking the time to help me <3 i was going to go home this weekend but the weather made it impossible. i did try to go to my course's society but it was a very small group of older students who were already good friends and i felt so uncomfortable! but maybe i will make it a goal to try again


    that's true, i just don't know whether my issue would be taken seriously. i do have friends on my course but i don't spend time with them outside of lectures/group work/seminars and i'm not sure how to change that, especially as everybody seems to have found their own group of friends at this stage. thank you for your response
    Maybe suggest going for a coffee or lunch after/between lectures? Or maybe if there's a next time you go to your course's society you could ask if anyone else would like to come with?
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    (Original post by katxlaurax)
    Speak to a counsellor? Your uni should have somewhere to go and someone to talk to! And try making new friends who you don't feel lonely with, I know it's harder said then done, but just try to talk to someone in a class?

    UPDATE : Make a group chat of people on TSR in the same position as you, you'll all make each other feel less lonely!
    bit late to this chat, but would anyone be interested in this group chat? I'm a first year at uni as well who's feeling quite lonely ngl..
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    (Original post by Captain Obviou$)
    bit late to this chat, but would anyone be interested in this group chat? I'm a first year at uni as well who's feeling quite lonely ngl..
    Guys, you are undergrad, so try to get involved to some societies and clubs.. You will really enjoy it... I envy as master student, cant find time to do several activities..... Good luck
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    (Original post by Shelly81)
    Guys, you are undergrad, so try to get involved to some societies and clubs.. You will really enjoy it... I envy as master student, cant find time to do several activities..... Good luck
    thanks!! i am part of some clubs but havent been as involved, ill try and be more involved next term- i just feel weird going alone, like its an impulsive need to try and go with someone idk why but ill get around that

    i just thought the gc was a good idea to discuss experiences/tips but yeah, I understand where you're coming from & good luck with your masters btw!!
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    Hey sorry to hear about this.

    Have you tried joining clubs? What about volunteering? Perhpas you could join a facebook group of your uni or a online meet up group.

    At lectures and tutorails sit next to people and converse with with, ask them what made them choose their course, their plans for the future etc.

    See you GP regarding your depression who may refer you to a therapist. You could talk a university counsellor towards this.

    If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me
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    Do you get much exercise? Maybe join a running club or something that gets the blood pumping - that releases endorphins and helps you to feel better. Does your uni have a ramblers club or hillwalking society? I found the people that join those are nice and the exercise is really good. Always come back from a long day hike feeling much better and then its easier to concentrate on work
 
 
 
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