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I feel like I'm living a similar life to Elliot rodgers, apart from the obvious. watch

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    Apart from the whole crimes he committed, which I would never do and I'm a female.
    I feel more depressed about it and down all the time, I feel kind of down when I see people in relationships having not been in one myself, that's the only thing I can relate to in regards to Elliot Rodgers, but I'm also 22 like he was.

    It got me thinking is this the point in someone's life where they feel terrible about themselves because of being inexperienced or not feeling wanted. It isn't just the relationship thing but also being out at uni alone and constantly alone, is that how he felt, like maybe he couldn't as cope well as someone like me. I can't remember his situation, whether it was all the way down to never being kissed, but yeah I've been kissed just never had someone who cared about me (friend or not), a relationship or sex.

    For years I've just excepted your time will come, but come on now I'm nearly 23 and I feel like **** seeing people I used to know and celebs living their lives. I honestly feel like I'm not living my life and I just need some advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Apart from the whole crimes he committed, which I would never do and I'm a female.
    I feel more depressed about it and down all the time, I feel kind of down when I see people in relationships having not been in one myself, that's the only thing I can relate to in regards to Elliot Rodgers, but I'm also 22 like he was.

    It got me thinking is this the point in someone's life where they feel terrible about themselves because of being inexperienced or not feeling wanted. It isn't just the relationship thing but also being out at uni alone and constantly alone, is that how he felt, like maybe he couldn't as cope well as someone like me. I can't remember his situation, whether it was all the way down to never being kissed, but yeah I've been kissed just never had someone who cared about me (friend or not), a relationship or sex.

    For years I've just excepted your time will come, but come on now I'm nearly 23 and I feel like **** seeing people I used to know and celebs living their lives. I honestly feel like I'm not living my life and I just need some advice
    Everybody does things at their own speed, there's no point by which someone "should" have done anything: it's hard and unfair to compare yourself to anyone else because you don't know what's going through their head when they make decisions.

    Elliott Rodgers blamed others for his own short comings, perceived everyday life as victimisation, and was generally a disturbed individual. The very fact that you're able to recognise your situation means you're not like him.

    Are you at the point where people can start feeling bad about themselves? Yes and no. Typically these feelings can become more acute during university, but that's by no means the only time it can affect people.

    The biggest thing you can take away from that is that you're not alone. Lots of other people feel the same. I know I did when I was at uni, and to some extent feel similar now.

    Don't force something, don't rush into something. Don't be worried that you're not where other people are. The grass is always greener on the other side.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Everybody does things at their own speed, there's no point by which someone "should" have done anything: it's hard and unfair to compare yourself to anyone else because you don't know what's going through their head when they make decisions.

    Elliott Rodgers blamed others for his own short comings, perceived everyday life as victimisation, and was generally a disturbed individual. The very fact that you're able to recognise your situation means you're not like him.

    Are you at the point where people can start feeling bad about themselves? Yes and no. Typically these feelings can become more acute during university, but that's by no means the only time it can affect people.

    The biggest thing you can take away from that is that you're not alone. Lots of other people feel the same. I know I did when I was at uni, and to some extent feel similar now.

    Don't force something, don't rush into something. Don't be worried that you're not where other people are. The grass is always greener on the other side.
    Thanks, I wish I knew people who felt like me but then they probably wouldn't tell anyone just like me.

    I'm more worried because I want these experiences but for some reason it's not happening.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, I wish I knew people who felt like me but then they probably wouldn't tell anyone just like me.

    I'm more worried because I want these experiences but for some reason it's not happening.
    That's the thing, these feelings can be very isolating, and they're not something that people enjoy speaking up about - especially not in public. So while I can guarantee you that there are others in exactly the same position, you won't be likely to find them.

    It's nothing to be worried about. It's fine to want them, it's fine to look forward to them, but you have to remember that not having them isn't a failure. It's not a fault.

    It can often be the case that by looking for them too much you hope yourself back from developing them organically.

    You say you're at uni? What clubs or societies are you part of? What do you do outside of your course?
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    That's the thing, these feelings can be very isolating, and they're not something that people enjoy speaking up about - especially not in public. So while I can guarantee you that there are others in exactly the same position, you won't be likely to find them.

    It's nothing to be worried about. It's fine to want them, it's fine to look forward to them, but you have to remember that not having them isn't a failure. It's not a fault.

    It can often be the case that by looking for them too much you hope yourself back from developing them organically.

    You say you're at uni? What clubs or societies are you part of? What do you do outside of your course?
    Only thing I do is go gym or library, it's my final year so I'll be leaving in a couple of months, there may not be any point in joining a society. I did want to do cooking or sketching but they don't have any societies that do that :/
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    What do you want to do in life? Have a vision and it will solve all of your problems.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    That's the thing, these feelings can be very isolating, and they're not something that people enjoy speaking up about - especially not in public. So while I can guarantee you that there are others in exactly the same position, you won't be likely to find them.

    It's nothing to be worried about. It's fine to want them, it's fine to look forward to them, but you have to remember that not having them isn't a failure. It's not a fault.

    It can often be the case that by looking for them too much you hope yourself back from developing them organically.

    You say you're at uni? What clubs or societies are you part of? What do you do outside of your course?
    Also it's hard to stop thinking about it when people ask you about your 'love life' or experience with a guy. My friend asked me 2 weeks back and also informed me she had sex for the first time although she didn't tell me when it actually happened and I generally think that set me off down a depressed path.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Only thing I do is go gym or library, it's my final year so I'll be leaving in a couple of months, there may not be any point in joining a society. I did want to do cooking or sketching but they don't have any societies that do that :/
    Closing yourself off to opportunities out there doesn't help. Even if it's going to a class at the gym rather than doing solo workouts you'll meet new people. And that's the thing to do. You don't need to be going in thinking that everyone you meet is going to become a life long friend, or a romantic partner, you just need the interactions.

    The other bits happen organically from that.
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    (Original post by rickyrossman)
    What do you want to do in life? Have a vision and it will solve all of your problems.
    I have a vision but it's probably why I also feel down because, well I'm not trying to achieving it at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Also it's hard to stop thinking about it when people ask you about your 'love life' or experience with a guy. My friend asked me 2 weeks back and also informed me she had sex for the first time although she didn't tell me when it actually happened and I generally think that set me off down a depressed path.
    I'm not saying don't think about it. It's perfectly natural to think about it.

    I'm just saying put it into context.

    So your friend was saying it was her first time. Then she's not much further ahead of you on the experience front. It's not a race.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    I'm not saying don't think about it. It's perfectly natural to think about it.

    I'm just saying put it into context.

    So your friend was saying it was her first time. Then she's not much further ahead of you on the experience front. It's not a race.
    Yeah I know I just wish she never asked and she also didn't randomly tell me as I kind of having a good day, idk just made me realise how much noones interested or how I'm struggling to put myself in those situations.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I know I just wish she never asked and she also didn't randomly tell me as I kind of having a good day, idk just made me realise how much noones interested or how I'm struggling to put myself in those situations.
    Maybe you're not putting yourself in those situations now, but that won't last.

    As you say, you're in your final year so, tbh, you probably don't really have a lot of spare time in the next few months. But in the grand scheme of things, that's no time at all. When you finish and go get a job / move / whatever you're planning on doing, you can start afresh and explore all kinds of options.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a vision but it's probably why I also feel down because, well I'm not trying to achieving it at all.
    What is your vision
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Maybe you're not putting yourself in those situations now, but that won't last.

    As you say, you're in your final year so, tbh, you probably don't really have a lot of spare time in the next few months. But in the grand scheme of things, that's no time at all. When you finish and go get a job / move / whatever you're planning on doing, you can start afresh and explore all kinds of options.
    *sigh* I hope so, I fear it might be harder to meet people after uni especially if I don't find a job as soon as possible otherwise I'll still be at my parents home, which I most definitely don't want to be
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *sigh* I hope so, I fear it might be harder to meet people after uni especially if I don't find a job as soon as possible otherwise I'll still be at my parents home, which I most definitely don't want to be
    Yes and no. There are plenty of ways of doing it, whether through work or through other kinds of clubs and groups. Not as hard as you might think.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Yes and no. There are plenty of ways of doing it, whether through work or through other kinds of clubs and groups. Not as hard as you might think.
    I don't know I had a glimpse of adult life on my placement year and I literally had no opportunity to meet anyone. This could be because everyone I was working with was older, married and had kids idk and my manager only hired girls or gay guys for the team we worked in.

    I'm honestly telling you I'm hopeless because after uni I have no chance, which is why I feel so down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know I had a glimpse of adult life on my placement year and I literally had no opportunity to meet anyone. This could be because everyone I was working with was older, married and had kids idk and my manager only hired girls or gay guys for the team we worked in.

    I'm honestly telling you I'm hopeless because after uni I have no chance, which is why I feel so down.
    The working world is bigger than that, the circle of friends you'll know at work will expand.

    There's also nothing stopping you from joining clubs externally, whether they're sport based or something else.

    There's also things like Meetup, an app that gathers together loads of different clubs, interests, societies, activities and hobbies together and opens them up for new people to join. I live in Manchester and use this a lot, there's always a social night to join people on, a walk in the hills, a quiz night, a pub trip, etc etc... All aimed at people who are new to the area, or are looking to expand their circle of friends, or just because you're bored on a Thursday night.

    You only think you've got no chance because you won't let yourself see the opportunities. There are hundreds out there. Go grab one.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    The working world is bigger than that, the circle of friends you'll know at work will expand.

    There's also nothing stopping you from joining clubs externally, whether they're sport based or something else.

    There's also things like Meetup, an app that gathers together loads of different clubs, interests, societies, activities and hobbies together and opens them up for new people to join. I live in Manchester and use this a lot, there's always a social night to join people on, a walk in the hills, a quiz night, a pub trip, etc etc... All aimed at people who are new to the area, or are looking to expand their circle of friends, or just because you're bored on a Thursday night.

    You only think you've got no chance because you won't let yourself see the opportunities. There are hundreds out there. Go grab one.
    I think maybe I'm scared of using apps to meet people, idk I always think of the old fashioned way of meeting without the help of apps but I guess I need to be brave and just do it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think maybe I'm scared of using apps to meet people, idk I always think of the old fashioned way of meeting without the help of apps but I guess I need to be brave and just do it.
    Don't think of that one like a dating site, just think of it more like the societies and clubs of the university, it's just their adverts are online. You're just using the app to find out where the socials are - you're not doing the socialising through the app.

    You could try dating apps, purely to get used to talking to more people, but that's not that important.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Don't think of that one like a dating site, just think of it more like the societies and clubs of the university, it's just their adverts are online. You're just using the app to find out where the socials are - you're not doing the socialising through the app.

    You could try dating apps, purely to get used to talking to more people, but that's not that important.
    Hmm I tried the app but it only appears as though a small amount of locals post the events/ go to the events, it's not really showing any uni social events.
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