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    Sorry for another one of these “I have no friends at uni” threads.

    But yeah, I have no friends at uni. Or at home really, but that’s not so bad. I’m in my first year of uni and I get along with my flatmates and course mates just fine, but I wouldn’t really say any of them are my friends. Honestly I never really used to mind as I’m quite introverted and like just spending time in my room, but lately I’ve been seeing more posts and photos etc. I think it would be nice to have a group of friends who I could go to the cinema with, or go out for dinner.

    I know it’s mostly my fault, I went out quite a lot during freshers week but I don’t really enjoy clubbing so stopped after that. Everyone says you don’t need to drink to make friends but that’s not really what I’ve found.

    Everyone just seems so fixed in their friendship groups now. I imagined uni to be different from school and it wouldn’t be so cliquey, but that’s just not true.

    I’m trying not to sound rude, but I feel like I’m not cool/outgoing enough for the ‘cool’ groups, yet not geeky enough for the people who don’t go out. I don’t mean that in a horrible way, I’m just not really interested in the things they do.

    I don’t know what to do. I’m not very outgoing, I’m awkward in most social situations, I don’t have that ability to talk to absolutely anyone like some people do. Now that freshers is over, I can’t really fall back on the typical “name, subject, where are you from?” conversation. My course is tiny compared to others so I don’t have a huge load of course mates to talk to.

    Trying not to say too much so I can remain fairly anonymous, but I go to a collegiate university and kind of ‘need’ friends in college. I’m meant to get college married but clearly there’s no chance of that. I try going to the college parties but the people I know always ditch me and I end up stood awkwardly on my own, or with a group of people who are happy to have their own conversation and pretend like I’m not there.

    I’m trying to force myself to be more sociable but failing. Nobody invites me out anymore. Normally I don’t even realise they’re going somewhere until they’ve gone and then its too late to ask if I can go too. I’m putting myself forward for more societies and I’m going to try out some new sports after Easter. I feel a bit awkward attending stuff on my own but I'm trying to do more.

    My course mates are all going skiing together over Easter but I can’t go. I’m so worried it’s going to just bring them all closer together and I’ll feel even more left out.

    Is there just something wrong with me? What else can I do?

    TL;DR - no friends at uni. Everyone seems to be set in their groups already and I never get invited to things anymore. Joining more societies and sports clubs but what else can I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry for another one of these “I have no friends at uni” threads.

    But yeah, I have no friends at uni. Or at home really, but that’s not so bad. I’m in my first year of uni and I get along with my flatmates and course mates just fine, but I wouldn’t really say any of them are my friends. Honestly I never really used to mind as I’m quite introverted and like just spending time in my room, but lately I’ve been seeing more posts and photos etc. I think it would be nice to have a group of friends who I could go to the cinema with, or go out for dinner.

    I know it’s mostly my fault, I went out quite a lot during freshers week but I don’t really enjoy clubbing so stopped after that. Everyone says you don’t need to drink to make friends but that’s not really what I’ve found.

    Everyone just seems so fixed in their friendship groups now. I imagined uni to be different from school and it wouldn’t be so cliquey, but that’s just not true.

    I’m trying not to sound rude, but I feel like I’m not cool/outgoing enough for the ‘cool’ groups, yet not geeky enough for the people who don’t go out. I don’t mean that in a horrible way, I’m just not really interested in the things they do.

    I don’t know what to do. I’m not very outgoing, I’m awkward in most social situations, I don’t have that ability to talk to absolutely anyone like some people do. Now that freshers is over, I can’t really fall back on the typical “name, subject, where are you from?” conversation. My course is tiny compared to others so I don’t have a huge load of course mates to talk to.

    Trying not to say too much so I can remain fairly anonymous, but I go to a collegiate university and kind of ‘need’ friends in college. I’m meant to get college married but clearly there’s no chance of that. I try going to the college parties but the people I know always ditch me and I end up stood awkwardly on my own, or with a group of people who are happy to have their own conversation and pretend like I’m not there.

    I’m trying to force myself to be more sociable but failing. Nobody invites me out anymore. Normally I don’t even realise they’re going somewhere until they’ve gone and then its too late to ask if I can go too. I’m putting myself forward for more societies and I’m going to try out some new sports after Easter. I feel a bit awkward attending stuff on my own but I'm trying to do more.

    My course mates are all going skiing together over Easter but I can’t go. I’m so worried it’s going to just bring them all closer together and I’ll feel even more left out.

    Is there just something wrong with me? What else can I do?

    TL;DR - no friends at uni. Everyone seems to be set in their groups already and I never get invited to things anymore. Joining more societies and sports clubs but what else can I do?
    You're trying too hard. If you don't click with someone then don't bother, don't get friends for the sake of having friends, once you find a few people that you really connect with then maintain those connections. Much better to have a few really good friends than lots of random people that you spoke to once or twice. You're doing everything right, you're trying and engaging with others, nothing wrong with being an introvert, no need to expose yourself. I say you keep going and soon you will find that one person that you can relate to, once you find that person keep talking to them. This is my interpretation of the situation, I'm at the same stage in life as you so my inexperience and antisocial behavior may lead me to a somewhat biased conclusion.
 
 
 
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