Turn on thread page Beta

I like this guy but he has a boyfriend - what should I do? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm a guy and so is he(as the title suggests).

    Anyway, I've known him for coming up to a year now but I rarely see him in person and when I do, it's in work so we have to be sensible and professional. We flirt a lot in person and when I first got to know him, it was general chit-chat and the occasional friendly flirt. My friend told me he'd just ended a relationship as it wasn't working out so I assumed he was single.

    For about 3-4 months, like I said, it was just casual and we were fine with each other, but I often thought about him. As time went by, it picked up and then I found out about his newish boyfriend. We sometimes spoke over like Snapchat but it was never anything serious, just passing chats. Once when I was drunk, I told him that I liked him over text and he sort of played it off and basically said he doesn't like me like that. I felt awkward and thought I'd read the signals wrong but my friend, who is also his friend, reassured me that they thought he did too.

    Then, when we were both drunk, we were flirting all night and had a chat and he tried kissing me and was rubbing his crotch(to put it nicely) on me all night. That same night, he kissed like two or three other people which annoyed me, but, I know he has a boyfriend and I would never do anything that bad as to kiss someone. Ever since then, the flirting has gradually got more where there are innuendos and touching ALL THE TIME. I laugh along but I never really touch him because I don't really have the confidence to do so. We are also speaking more and more over text/Snapchat. This can be on his own or when he's with his boyfriend, then he'll either ignore me after intitiating the conversation or takes a very long time to reply.

    I suppose I'm posting this as a way of asking for advice. I know that getting involved with someone with a boyfriend is never a good sign, especially when I know he cheats but I really like him and would probably be willing to take the risk. However, I don't know what to do for the meantime - do I stop contact with him and see if he asks what's up or do I confront him and say that I feel we should stop whatever is going on? I don't want to split up a relationship and he knows that I have respect for them and myself but he seems to be taking the piss a bit. What do you think or do you have any other ideas/input? Thanks.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    Leave alone. Dont mess in other peoples relationships and either find someone else that is single or wait till he is. Breaking up relationships is bad news and if he will do it with you, then he will do it o you as well.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Leave alone. Dont mess in other peoples relationships and either find someone else that is single or wait till he is. Breaking up relationships is bad news and if he will do it with you, then he will do it o you as well.
    Agreed.

    OP, you wouldn’t want someone messing with your relationship, so why to break another person’s?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    If he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you.
    • #2
    #2

    3some?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate all your help.

    I completely agree that I wouldn't want anybody messing with my relationship but some part of me is telling me to be selfish. I know it's bad but I really like him that much.

    Another part of me is telling me to literally cut it off, I'll probably be still be friendly with him as it'd be awkward otherwise. I'm quite an upfront and honest person (even when I shouldn't) and can never really keep what I'm thinking to myself. That being said, I think I'll just confront him about it and ask him where he sees this going? I don't know whether to do this over text or when I meet him and a few other friends for a drink in the coming weeks. I'm concerned about doing it over text as I feel like he'll have to time to craft his answer and tell me what I want to hear, rather than the truth.

    Is that a good idea or should I just cut him off with no warning or explanation and see if he asks me why?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 4, 2018

1,202

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.