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Boyfriend mad at me for a silly reason watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I shouldve also said that we are long distance for a year and we're gonna meet in a few months. And everytime we argue he says he's basically been a "virgin" and ****ed no one for the past year because he has been waiting for me. I dont know how to take this but I feel bad when he says things like this.
    Is life for you, in general, better with or without him there? When do you feel more happy and less stressed/depressed etc.?
    He sounds like he's trying to make you feel guilty for not being able to see him-he should be more focused and happy on seeing you and wanting to spend time with you than rather than not having sex for a while
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    (Original post by aesthete1)
    ok so he also uses threats of his behaviour if you break up with him. girl whether you love him or not he sounds abusive and you need to run as far away from him as possible, for your own sake please get out of this controlling unhealthy relationship.

    the fact that he seems obsessed with you to the point of not respecting your boundaries when you're annoyed shows that he does not respect you.

    the fact that you feel obligated to 'help' him with his abusive tendencies is another sign that this relationship is unhealthy and unbalanced and you deserve much better

    good luck
    Im so confused on how to feel about it You're so right but its most definitely not easy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Isn't this like domestic abuse or something. You should get out before this turnsinto something bigger and far worse. To the point that you wont be able to get out in future, even if you wanted.
    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    He wasn't swearing verbally then just messages. If it's a regular thing do you think it's normal? If you swear at him still not healthy but a tad toleratable but still not a healthy relationship. Seems paranoid
    I know it was just messages so thats why I think its not as bad, but even when we call, he called me a slút because he thought he could hear a boys voice in the background and there was none. Okay well I guess Ive made up my mind then :/ wish me luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im so confused on how to feel about it You're so right but its most definitely not easy.
    this sort of situation is incredibly difficult and if you can talk to a friend or parent I would recommend it, it helps to have support and to know that someone has your back and cares about you to help you feel able to break up with him.
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    (Original post by AzureCeleste)
    Is life for you, in general, better with or without him there? When do you feel more happy and less stressed/depressed etc.?
    He sounds like he's trying to make you feel guilty for not being able to see him-he should be more focused and happy on seeing you and wanting to spend time with you than rather than not having sex for a while
    Before it was great and I was really looking forward to being with him and whatever but now I find it to be a drag to even message him and lie about how much I love him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Before it was great and I was really looking forward to being with him and whatever but now I find it to be a drag to even message him and lie about how much I love him.
    Clearly you're not happy then, so end it-it's for your own benefit.
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    (Original post by aesthete1)
    he's guilting you into having sex with him, all of the behaviours you've described are textbook manipulation and I strongly urge you to break up with him as soon as possible.
    He is like 24 and Im a 19yr old so yeah I know what you mean, and he is always like, I just want to spend one night with you before I die thats my only wish. Pfffff okay I am but the only thing that worries me is him and his health after I leave him
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I shouldve also said that we are long distance for a year and we're gonna meet in a few months. And everytime we argue he says he's basically been a "virgin" and ****ed no one for the past year because he has been waiting for me. I dont know how to take this but I feel bad when he says things like this.
    I take it you haven't actually met him yet then ? If that's the case I urge you to NEVER meet him. He sounds like he could be dangerous.
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    (Original post by aesthete1)
    this sort of situation is incredibly difficult and if you can talk to a friend or parent I would recommend it, it helps to have support and to know that someone has your back and cares about you to help you feel able to break up with him.
    Erm no one knows about this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is like 24 and Im a 19yr old so yeah I know what you mean, and he is always like, I just want to spend one night with you before I die thats my only wish. Pfffff okay I am but the only thing that worries me is him and his health after I leave him
    he should not be obsessed with you to the point of saying things like his only wish is to spend one night with you, that guilts you into staying in a relationship you are unhappy in.

    for him the only hope of him becoming a better person is for him to work on it and do a bit of growing up, it is not up to you to hold his hand through making him a decent human being, that's something people have to learn for themselves, and breaking up with him could help him move on and grow in a way this relationship has not forced him to grow up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Erm no one knows about this.
    tell a friend you trust, again it's not healthy to have to bottle all this up
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    (Original post by JaseyB)
    I take it you haven't actually met him yet then ? If that's the case I urge you to NEVER meet him. He sounds like he could be dangerous.
    Nope, and I dont know, he says he would take care of me in a good way and I know that

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    he should not be obsessed with you to the point of saying things like his only wish is to spend one night with you, that guilts you into staying in a relationship you are unhappy in.

    for him the only hope of him becoming a better person is for him to work on it and do a bit of growing up, it is not up to you to hold his hand through making him a decent human being, that's something people have to learn for themselves, and breaking up with him could help him move on and grow in a way this relationship has not forced him to grow up.
    Thank you for your advice btw its been so helpful! I love you!!
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    (Original post by aesthete1)
    tell a friend you trust, again it's not healthy to have to bottle all this up
    Honestly, I can't. I could never.
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    You don't really know this guy, and from what you've explained thus far, he seems totally unstable.

    Your heart is not in this (and nor should it be). I'd end this as soon as possible if i were you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly, I can't. I could never.
    perhaps consider speaking to a counsellor? if you're a student there should be support available at your uni for someone confidential to talk to just as it really helps to get it off your chest.

    my immediate advice as you're long distance and this man seems abusive, controlling, and quite frankly dangerous, is for you to cut contact completely. tell him the relationship is not working then don't give him a chance to guilt trip, abuse, or threaten you and just block him. block his number block his social media.

    I know this seems harsh but as he's threatened to react badly to any attempt to break up and has badly over reacted in the past I genuinely believe this is the only option for you to have a safe, clean break up.

    good luck, I really hope things turn out well and you are able to break up with him x
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    (Original post by aesthete1)
    perhaps consider speaking to a counsellor? if you're a student there should be support available at your uni for someone confidential to talk to just as it really helps to get it off your chest.

    my immediate advice as you're long distance and this man seems abusive, controlling, and quite frankly dangerous, is for you to cut contact completely. tell him the relationship is not working then don't give him a chance to guilt trip, abuse, or threaten you and just block him. block his number block his social media.

    I know this seems harsh but as he's threatened to react badly to any attempt to break up and has badly over reacted in the past I genuinely believe this is the only option for you to have a safe, clean break up.

    good luck, I really hope things turn out well and you are able to break up with him x
    I dropped a long paragraph to him as soon as I responded to this, and I shouldn't have checked it again because its been 15 minutes and he starting the emotional abuse again and isnt stopping like he is continuing right now. I feel like absolute ****.
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    bruh he sound's insecure if he made such a reaction you making a guy friend on playstation. I'd bring this up with him and see if he's aware of his apparent insecurities, It's partially your responsibility to ensure your partner develops in a healthy way so you'll want to address this as soon as possible.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dropped a long paragraph to him as soon as I responded to this, and I shouldn't have checked it again because its been 15 minutes and he starting the emotional abuse again and isnt stopping like he is continuing right now. I feel like absolute ****.
    I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that and you should either block him now, or turn off your phone and take some time to yourself now, you need to look after yourself, then as soon as possible tell him it's over and just block him, or it'll only get worse.

    best wishes x
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    It doesn’t matter whether you added him or not - he took jealousy too far and it sounds like he’s emotionally abusive to me.
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    This isn't healthy. It's vile. He needs help. Get rid, now.
 
 
 
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