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Boyfriend mad at me for a silly reason watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't bring myself to do it
    How do I even go about it?

    And at the same time I feel so alone because no one knows about this. I know that what he is saying right now is making me feel bad but he is my first love and I love him too fu*king much to stop it. I need help but I dont know how pfff
    You can't bring yourself to drop him?

    This guy that you've never actually met? (according to post #32).


    You say you love him.What you actually love is the image you've created of him in your head from your online and telephone communication. This may or may not bear any particular resemblance to what he's really like in person. He may be a catfish. Anything or everything that you think you know about him might be a lie.

    Why has he never met you? He's 24. He can travel anywhere in the world, any time he likes.
    Why is he trying to tell this girl he's never met who she can have as online friends?
    How did he even find out about this online friend that you knew nothing about?
    Have you given him your online passwords or something? To a guy you've never met?

    If you can't bring yourself to drop him, give him a test.
    Tell him that you've met someone on real life that you find physically attractive, but you can already see will not be suitable as a long term boyfriend. Tell him that you intend having sex with this other man, because you're sexually frustrated. See how your online boyfriend reacts.
    If he loves you and is worth you getting to know in real life, he'll be cool about this test. He'll tell you to go ahead and fill your boots. Or he'll tell you calmly that you don't need to go with anyone else and that he'll provide you with the sex that you desire.
    If he's the mentally ill person that I think he is, he'll go off on one and go crazy at you again.


    Your can have more than one "first love". Your first true love will probably be the first man you have intercourse with.

    Do you think that you are attractive? Do you think that you are a special person? If not, we need to work on boosting your self-esteem - a lot.
    If you're confident you're attractive you'll get a real boyfriend easily enough.

    You're 19. Nobody needs to ever know anything about this. You're an adult now. Your own personal affairs are very much your own personal affairs and therefore none of anybody else's business.
    • #8
    #8

    I think you should break up with him. No guy should ever treat you or speak to you like that. And I agree with the rest of the people who have answered your thread. He is manipulating you. Cherish yourself and know that that is not love. I'm in a long distance relationship too but my boyfriend and I never treat each other that way, we talk it out respectfully. If there is no respect in a relationship or trust, it won't work out. Love yourself and know your worth girl.
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    He sounds like a nutter - run dude.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    you need to end this relationship, and get help to work through your feelings around him and this. believe me I know how hard it is and I know it must feel like you owe him the chance to get better and help him but what he has done is textbook manipulation and emotional abuse to put you in this position.

    you will find love in the future and this man does not love you, at least not in a way that is constructive and supportive and healthy, and you clearly can acknowledge that the relationship is toxic and you know that it needs to end. however hard it is, you will definitely be better off in the long term, you're very young and have many more people to love later in life. leave him.

    I really urge you to talk to someone, be it a friend or a counsellor or if that is really impossible write down how you are feeling just to be able to sort through it and not bottle the pain up, I found that really helped.

    good luck x


    It used to be great but now its gone bad. It was never like this because I know him best and he is a good person with good intentions but he doesnt realise how he hurts me and he is upset about how he's hurt me. He was kept saying how I was in the wrong and its normal for him to have jealousy and to react like this. But he kept saying he loves me. Just after I told him that its hard for me to do this but its for the best, and that I was going to block him, he told me to die again a long with a lot more things to say...and I should take it with a pinch of salt but if he told me this twice then it just makes it easier for me to remove him from my life because its just disgusting of him to say. The worst thing is, when I responded to him that "he would prefer if I died anyways", he just changed and went back to normal, apologising about how he didnt mean it but it was "my fault" so I have OFFiCIALLY blocked him. He was fu*king sending me 50 messages at once every 10 minutes.

    The only bad part is that I said to him I needed space but I felt bad and told him I might unblock him in a few days, or few months...meaning Ive given him that little bit of hope that I know he's going to latch onto. I feel horrible within myself and as much as Im trying to resist the urge to unblock him and just tell him how much I want to give him a big hug, I cant.

    Its gonna take me a long time, like years, to get over this **** but I honestly thought he was the one. I have no one to talk to. I have friends but none close enough for me to talk about this to. But thank you you've helped me so so so much.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Napp)
    He sounds like a nutter - run dude.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think you should break up with him. No guy should ever treat you or speak to you like that. And I agree with the rest of the people who have answered your thread. He is manipulating you. Cherish yourself and know that that is not love. I'm in a long distance relationship too but my boyfriend and I never treat each other that way, we talk it out respectfully. If there is no respect in a relationship or trust, it won't work out. Love yourself and know your worth girl.
    ngl though, he's had a really tough past, and you could say he's from "the hood" lol. Also, at the beginning of his relationship he used to drink a lot and now he's cut down so much and Im proud of him. He says that I've helped him in that way and to better himself. All his previous girlfriends were bi*tc hes and cheated on him which may be the reason why he has trust issues so I took all this into account too. So I think he doesnt realise how manipulative he is and he thinks its because he loves me too much and he's jealous? Im going to do this now, so thank you so much for this it means a lot xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It used to be great but now its gone bad. It was never like this because I know him best and he is a good person with good intentions but he doesnt realise how he hurts me and he is upset about how he's hurt me. He was kept saying how I was in the wrong and its normal for him to have jealousy and to react like this. But he kept saying he loves me. Just after I told him that its hard for me to do this but its for the best, and that I was going to block him, he told me to die again a long with a lot more things to say...and I should take it with a pinch of salt but if he told me this twice then it just makes it easier for me to remove him from my life because its just disgusting of him to say. The worst thing is, when I responded to him that "he would prefer if I died anyways", he just changed and went back to normal, apologising about how he didnt mean it but it was "my fault" so I have OFFiCIALLY blocked him. He was fu*king sending me 50 messages at once every 10 minutes.

    The only bad part is that I said to him I needed space but I felt bad and told him I might unblock him in a few days, or few months...meaning Ive given him that little bit of hope that I know he's going to latch onto. I feel horrible within myself and as much as Im trying to resist the urge to unblock him and just tell him how much I want to give him a big hug, I cant.

    Its gonna take me a long time, like years, to get over this **** but I honestly thought he was the one. I have no one to talk to. I have friends but none close enough for me to talk about this to. But thank you you've helped me so so so much.
    I'm genuinely really proud of you for managing to do this, as you've said the way he was reacting shows that you've done the right thing and I really hope you find the strength to keep him blocked and know that it's gonna be for the best

    healing will take a long time but you've taken the first step and that's the most important thing. if there's no one you can talk to about this then I definitely recommend keeping some sort of record of how you feel, not quite like a diary but just when you feel upset or confused or hurting it helps to pour it all out on paper, at least for me anyway.

    you have done the right thing and I hope in the future you can look back on this and feel ok about him and what happened.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    You can't bring yourself to drop him?

    This guy that you've never actually met? (according to post #32).


    You say you love him.What you actually love is the image you've created of him in your head from your online and telephone communication. This may or may not bear any particular resemblance to what he's really like in person. He may be a catfish. Anything or everything that you think you know about him might be a lie.

    Why has he never met you? He's 24. He can travel anywhere in the world, any time he likes.
    Why is he trying to tell this girl he's never met who she can have as online friends?
    How did he even find out about this online friend that you knew nothing about?
    Have you given him your online passwords or something? To a guy you've never met?

    If you can't bring yourself to drop him, give him a test.
    Tell him that you've met someone on real life that you find physically attractive, but you can already see will not be suitable as a long term boyfriend. Tell him that you intend having sex with this other man, because you're sexually frustrated. See how your online boyfriend reacts.
    If he loves you and is worth you getting to know in real life, he'll be cool about this test. He'll tell you to go ahead and fill your boots. Or he'll tell you calmly that you don't need to go with anyone else and that he'll provide you with the sex that you desire.
    If he's the mentally ill person that I think he is, he'll go off on one and go crazy at you again.


    Your can have more than one "first love". Your first true love will probably be the first man you have intercourse with.

    Do you think that you are attractive? Do you think that you are a special person? If not, we need to work on boosting your self-esteem - a lot.
    If you're confident you're attractive you'll get a real boyfriend easily enough.

    You're 19. Nobody needs to ever know anything about this. You're an adult now. Your own personal affairs are very much your own personal affairs and therefore none of anybody else's business.
    We've seen each other through like video calling and snapchat. No we haven't met yet but we made cute plans of when we do and how. Trust me he means a lot to me compared to the people that I live around. He's not the person to lie and I can see that. Atm its difficult for me, so when I tell him that he can come and the time is right, he will do it in a heartbeat I'm not even exaggerating. He is waiting for me basically.
    He said that his friend won an award and he wanted to see it so as he was scrolling down his feed, he saw that I made a few friend...and I just logged into my psn today and just blocked the other guy. This other guy even sent me lots of invitations and a message which i thought was super strange but of course my boyfriend doesnt know that and I wasnt even online for him to send me invites so it doesnt add up....

    I've brought myself to remove him now (dont know how long it'll last) but I know for a fact that if I did that, he would throw a tantrum on me haha
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    I'm genuinely really proud of you for managing to do this, as you've said the way he was reacting shows that you've done the right thing and I really hope you find the strength to keep him blocked and know that it's gonna be for the best

    healing will take a long time but you've taken the first step and that's the most important thing. if there's no one you can talk to about this then I definitely recommend keeping some sort of record of how you feel, not quite like a diary but just when you feel upset or confused or hurting it helps to pour it all out on paper, at least for me anyway.

    you have done the right thing and I hope in the future you can look back on this and feel ok about him and what happened.
    Thank you I needed to hear this x
    Do you think I could ever get into contact with him a few years down the line just to see how he is. Only because we've shared a lot together and when he's not like this, he is amazing, and treats me good. You probably see it differently because its my point of view but deep down he is a good person (read my message above, Ive mentioned more about him). We made lots of plans and loved each other more than anything and he said he had a lot to tell me and had a special gift for me (Im guessing an expensive bracelet) when we meet.

    He's the kind of person that is an ******* to other people, but to me he is the softest person ever. Ive never met anyone more genuine and just nice and loving than him. He has only been like this for the last few days only because I couldnt message him properly because I was so busy with my work and he missed me. The only other time he was like this was much earlier on during our relationship but he has never been like this otherwise. its only happened rarely. I feel like I should give him a chance but I don't know I miss him a lot and Im worried for him and what he could do.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger;76435666
    Your can have more than one "first love". Your first true love will probably be the first man you have intercourse with.

    Do you think that you are attractive? Do you think that you are a special person? If not, we need to work on boosting your self-esteem - a lot.
    If you're confident you're attractive you'll get a[i
    )

    real[/i] boyfriend easily enough.

    You're 19. Nobody needs to ever know anything about this. You're an adult now. Your own personal affairs are very much your own personal affairs and therefore none of anybody else's business.
    Sorry I forgot to reply to this part. Perhaps you're right but I've been in this relationship for a long time so I feel like this is my first love. It was so strong and do you know that feeling you get at the start of a relationship and then it slowly dies down? This feeling never died down and I still feel the same love.
    Im humble lol but I think I'm attractive, guys will look at me and small talk sometimes. I could tell him this and he would get a bit jealous and low key annoyed but would still be fine, and then when we argue he'll bring that up for some reason and tell me I should have gone and had sex with them or something really childish along those lines. All the guys that I live by are as*holes

    You're right though, this is gonna stay with me for a long time and I prefer not to tell anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you I needed to hear this x
    Do you think I could ever get into contact with him a few years down the line just to see how he is. Only because we've shared a lot together and when he's not like this, he is amazing, and treats me good. You probably see it differently because its my point of view but deep down he is a good person (read my message above, Ive mentioned more about him). We made lots of plans and loved each other more than anything and he said he had a lot to tell me and had a special gift for me (Im guessing an expensive bracelet) when we meet.

    He's the kind of person that is an ******* to other people, but to me he is the softest person ever. Ive never met anyone more genuine and just nice and loving than him. He has only been like this for the last few days only because I couldnt message him properly because I was so busy with my work and he missed me. The only other time he was like this was much earlier on during our relationship but he has never been like this otherwise. its only happened rarely. I feel like I should give him a chance but I don't know I miss him a lot and Im worried for him and what he could do.
    I would certainly not contact him for a good few years, until you've done the healing you need to do, and by then you may feel differently.

    it's often the case that abusive/controlling/manipulative men have two sides and can seem the most loving and devoted partners, but that all feeds into their abuse, consciously or unconsciously it makes it harder for you to leave and break out for the reasons you've described. it's to your credit that you've recognised that and have ended things.

    he will hopefully move on with his life and do a lot of growing as a human being, but it is no longer up to you to hold his hand through that, now is the time for you to focus on loving yourself and becoming an adult, you're still very young and have a lot of growing of your own to do. x
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    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    x
    I feel like it was all too sudden blocking him, I didnt give him a chance and I miss him :/
    • #9
    #9

    Dump him. What a toxic relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like it was all too sudden blocking him, I didnt give him a chance and I miss him :/
    missing him is natural but you gave him as many chances as he deserved with the sort of abusive language and behaviours he was displaying that you should never have to put up with.

    he didn't respect you, and any 'love' he had was incredibly unhealthy
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    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    missing him is natural but you gave him as many chances as he deserved with the sort of abusive language and behaviours he was displaying that you should never have to put up with.

    he didn't respect you, and any 'love' he had was incredibly unhealthy
    Thank you for waking me uppp. If you didnt say any of this, I would have forgiven him and stayed in this relationship because Im so fu*king naive. Thank you!

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    I would certainly not contact him for a good few years, until you've done the healing you need to do, and by then you may feel differently.

    it's often the case that abusive/controlling/manipulative men have two sides and can seem the most loving and devoted partners, but that all feeds into their abuse, consciously or unconsciously it makes it harder for you to leave and break out for the reasons you've described. it's to your credit that you've recognised that and have ended things.

    he will hopefully move on with his life and do a lot of growing as a human being, but it is no longer up to you to hold his hand through that, now is the time for you to focus on loving yourself and becoming an adult, you're still very young and have a lot of growing of your own to do. x
    Sh/t I wish I realised this sooner. This is gonna be tough and my hearts taken a lot of damage, probably wont get healed again. But thank you again <3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sh/t I wish I realised this sooner. This is gonna be tough and my hearts taken a lot of damage, probably wont get healed again. But thank you again <3
    you're very welcome and I hope things get easier, time is a great healer x
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    You said "All the guys that I live by are as*holes"

    What would it take for a guy not to be an A-hole, in your opinion?
    Just thinking, maybe I could give you some advice into steering you towards someone that would meet your minimum standards?
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    Sounds similar to what I went through. It's not worth it and those situations can escalate quickly. One minute my ex was calling me a slut, the next he was hacking into my phone to keep tabs on me. I was young and "loved him", but I wish I could have seen through all the BS! It became his way or the highway = loss of loads my friends, mostly guys who were genuine good friends.. mind yourself, those relationships effects don't leave you easily.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't bring myself to do it
    How do I even go about it?

    And at the same time I feel so alone because no one knows about this. I know that what he is saying right now is making me feel bad but he is my first love and I love him too fu*king much to stop it. I need help but I dont know how pfff
    There's no how. It's just a case of one message 'it's over don't contact me again' and then block him on all forms of contact. The problem is that you don't want to let him go despite the fact that you know he is terrible to you. You just have to trust the love and pain will pass.
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    Sounds like a great guy why not propose
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    #1

    (Original post by aesthete1)
    you're very welcome and I hope things get easier, time is a great healer x
    Today couldn't get any worse. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried and cried and cried all day and my minds been somewhere else. And everyone that I bump into keep asking me if Im okay. My family dont know or care however. How long will I feel like this for? I actually miss him
 
 
 
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