Turn on thread page Beta

Is anyone else not bothered by cat calling? watch

    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    Lmao


    and you seriously wonder why more and more men don't like approaching women these days.....
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    "She also said it could include "someone who catcalls a woman in the street or follows a woman out of a shop to chat them up when it is unwanted... this change would give women the confidence to report these things".
    "These things might be considered 'banter' or flirtatious but, if they are received as unwelcome in the way it is delivered, then it can be tantamount to harassment, even in a one-off case.""
    lol she's just a typical third wave feminist. Most women don't think it's wrong to interact with another stranger.
    [following a women out of a shop is a bit too much though]
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    [following a women out of a shop is a bit too much though]


    what if she is at the tills ...or deep in the ladies section looking at underwear?

    it would be inappropriate for a man to approach her then, and more appropriate for him to approach once she's left the shop
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    and you seriously wonder why more and more men don't like approaching women these days.....
    LOL I do admit that women can be sometimes mean. However that doesn't mean men can't approach. The way you approached her wasn't that good. You should have said Hi first and been like hows your day been instead of being like "hi i came over to say you are pretty", Imo, it sounds kind of odd. The girl might have been really shocked and didn't know how to react.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    It's worse if the girl is obviously younger/in school uniform and the comments are coming from grown men, but I think on the whole it's just unnecessary. Men generally shout stuff to get a reaction and it really doesn't make a blind bit of different how attractive the girl may or may not be, I certainly wouldn't jump to the conclusion that a man found me genuinely attractive just because he shouted something at me.

    It's just a very childish and sad thing to do, a trait that isn't seen as attractive in a grown man.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    what if she is at the tills ...or deep in the ladies section looking at underwear?

    it would be inappropriate for a man to approach her then, and more appropriate for him to approach once she's left the shop
    Well I dont know about this situation, it's very hard to give an answer. If someone was interested in me and followed me at the shop [esp if it's dark] then it would creep me out...
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    LOL I do admit that women can be sometimes mean. However that doesn't mean men can't approach. The way you approached her wasn't that good. You should have said Hi first and been like hows your day been instead of being like "hi i came over to say you are pretty", Imo, it sounds kind of odd. The girl might have been really shocked and didn't know how to react.


    I started off by saying "hi, ...sorry to interrupt"

    I literally could not have been more polite.

    Asking about her day first would have made no difference and not increased her receptiveness. She would have realised what I was up to instantly and blanked me
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    I started off by saying "hi, ...sorry to interrupt"

    I literally could not have been more polite.

    Asking about her day first would have made no difference and not increased her receptiveness. She would have realised what I was up to instantly and blanked me
    hmm, idk. You could have intimidated/scared her off esp if it was dark.
    Some girls just aren't that friendly lol. I have never been rude to a guy when they approach me, I am actually nice. Even the last guy that approached me told me How nice I was. Even if I wasn't attracted to the guy, I'd never act rude. I actually appreciate it....
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I mean, it's only guys in the UK that complain about approaching though, it seems. I know a girl that says she never gets hit on in the UK, but when she goes to the US guys ask her out and approach her. She finds it's easier to date/get asked out over there. ANM775
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hirsty97)
    One time I had a group of three girls come up to me and tell me how attractive I was and I was buzzing for the rest of the day so I don't see why girls would hate it as long as it's not too crude and the guy who catcalled isn't some slob
    Because a girl might have first experienced this as a schoolgirl from grown men and feels threatened by catcalling as a result. Just because one does not understand something, doesn’t mean it’s not accurate/true. Your attitude is exactly why men do it - they think it’s a compliment but it’s not to every to woman. And that’s ok, and so they should just keep their mouths shut.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    I mean, it's only guys in the UK that complain about approaching though, it seems. I know a girl that says she never gets hit on in the UK, but when she goes to the US guys ask her out and approach her. She finds it's easier to date/get asked out over there. ANM775


    Different country, different etiquette

    In this country it's not so socially acceptable to hit on women in the street

    it's more socially taboo
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    Different country, different etiquette

    In this country it's not so socially acceptable to hit on women in the street

    it's more socially taboo
    It's also the fact that men in the UK cannot take rejection. It's not only on the street that the men don't approach. It's anywhere...
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    It's also the fact that men in the UK cannot take rejection. It's not only on the street that the men don't approach. It's anywhere...


    I disagree, go to any bar/pub/club on a busy saturday night and you will see many many approaches.

    honestly after about 9:30 pm in central london on a friday night is it extremely hard to find ANY unoccupied women at the bars and pubs because they've all got men talking to them..
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    I disagree, go to any bar/pub/club on a busy saturday night and you will see many many approaches.

    honestly after about 9:30 pm in central london on a friday night is it extremely hard to find ANY unoccupied women at the bars and pubs because they've all got men talking to them..
    Ive been to bars and I definitely didnt see that, I guess it was because it wasn't packed.
    I've also been to one club in central London and again, dint see that either. I saw girls, my age sitting down. People older were standing up dancing though

    I am not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesnt really happen often.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    Ive been to bars and I definitely didnt see that, I guess it was because it wasn't packed.
    I've also been to one club in central London and again, dint see that either. I saw girls, my age sitting down. People older were standing up dancing though

    I am not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesnt really happen often.




    seems like you've got very limited experience of going to these places

    Ideally it needs to be fairly busy and on a fri/sat night

    and I don't know what club you are going to where all the young people are sitting down and all the old people are standing up dancing ..but you are going to the wrong clubs...........

    and if you are sitting down in the corner somewhere this is going to significantly reduce your chances of being approached.........
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    seems like you've got very limited experience of going to these places

    Ideally it needs to be fairly busy and on a fri/sat night

    and I don't know what club you are going to where all the young people are sitting down and all the old people are standing up dancing ..but you are going to the wrong clubs...........

    and if you are sitting down in the corner somewhere this is going to significantly reduce your chances of being approached.........
    Thats because clubs/bars aren't my thing? Why is that my only option?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Catcalling disgusts me because I'm not desperate for male attention unlike some others. If a guy hits on me or tries to get my number, I usually just turn him down. A guy coming up to me in public and calling me "beautiful" or "love" makes me happy though, because it's not objectifying and an actual compliment.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If someone cat calls me I'm flattered and just give them a cheeky smile, or pretend I didn't notice because I don't want to assume they're talking to me. I think the only time I'd probably genuinely feel uncomfortable is if I was walking home alone at night or if it was a seemingly creepy guy. But generally during the day it's pretty harmless and it puts a spring in my step to be honest. Do girls actually feel uncomfortable when it's just a builder or a random guy on the street in the daytime? Is it fine if the person is good looking?
    Same with messages online, I'll always just take it as a compliment.

    I quite like that guys go out of their way to compliment. Girls don't do it to guys as much. I personally can't imagine having the balls to cat call a guy but I don't think it would be a horrible thing to do. I'll admit some comments are nicer to receive than others but they're all still pretty great to hear deep down. I know some people see it as intimidation but I don't really. In that moment I don't feel any lower than them, quite the opposite. I suppose the only time it feels a bit awkward if it's in a really public place like on the train where everyone can see the interaction. But even then it's not a big deal.
    Obviously if someone said something like 'nice flaps' I wouldn't take it as an amazing compliment but I'd find it quite funny.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    Thats because clubs/bars aren't my thing? Why is that my only option?


    It's not, you've got internet dating too

    ..but you won't try that.

    You seem adamant on wanting to meet a man through a low probability event like a street approach

    look up statistics on the issue, IIRC around 1% - 3% of people meet their significant other that way.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    It's not, you've got internet dating too

    ..but you won't try that.

    You seem adamant on wanting to meet a man through a low probability event like a street approach

    look up statistics on the issue, IIRC around 1% - 3% of people meet their significant other that way.
    No, I dont care about street approaches. I've tried many other ways like events and I have got 0 luck. I dont trust most men on internet dating
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by loveleest)
    No, I dont care about street approaches. I've tried many other ways like events and I have got 0 luck. I dont trust most men on internet dating


    unless the event is like a dating event ...it's low probability.

    you say you don't trust men on internet dating sites but what happened with some guy who approached you in the library or someplace?

    all he was after was sex

    ideally you should be meeting a guy through friends/family/work/place of education ...... but if that doesn't work you should start trying the next avenues with the highest probabilities which is internet dating ...and pubs/bars etc...
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 8, 2018
Poll
Who do you think it's more helpful to talk about mental health with?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.