Alright I've been dating this girl for around 6 months, we're both 18. In December was our first time doing anything sexual and I was a virgin at the time but she wasn't. I was very nervous cause I knew we were about to have sex and when i took off my pants i was soft. But I got hard and we had sex. I didn't think of anything of it until a few weeks after she brought it up and said it was really awkward and since then my mind has been ****ed. Sometimes before we have sex I go soft. Like we'd be laying down together or kissing and I get hard and right before i put it in I go soft and we've had sex a number of times it's just when she talked about my first time I've been in a terrible mental state. I need help I don't know what to do. I now have these thoughts about maybe you're gay but they're dumb thoughts because i read other forums where it said maybe they go soft cause a closet gay. But if i was gay i wouldn't get hard in the first place by just being around her or kissing her. Also, if i get it in it stays hard completely like it won't go soft. I just don't know what to do and I'm stressing out cause I feel like i could lose her and I don't want too. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Thank you
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I keep going soft before sex. Please help watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-03-2018 06:21
- 06-03-2018 07:49
Tell her to stop being such a turn off haha. Or she could just be more patient and let you get ready again.
- 06-03-2018 13:13
Honestly, she shouldn't have mentioned it, because of course that's the sort of thing that's going to stay on your mind. You're having problems because the things she said are stuck in your head and whenever you're about to get down to it it reminds you of it, and that's when you start worrying and you can't get hard. It's a completley normal reaction. Unfortunately now that she's said it it's the sort of thing that is going to be difficult to forget. I think it's important to tell her the effect that what she said has had on you to stop her from making the same mistake in the future, I think it's having a particularly strong impact on you because it was your first time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you just need to get out of your own head, try and stop thinking that it's going to happen when you're getting down to it.It's just a bit of a psychological block that you can get past, best of luck
- Community Assistant
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 06-03-2018 14:10
Alright I've been dating this girl for around 6 months, we're both 18. In December was our first time doing anything sexual and I was a virgin at the time but she wasn't. I was very nervous cause I knew we were about to have sex and when i took off my pants i was soft. But I got hard and we had sex.
I didn't think of anything of it until a few weeks after she brought it up and said it was really awkward and since then my mind has been ****ed.
The first thing to suggest is to talk to her. It's only in porn that penises are always hard as steel when the man wants an erection. Not having one can be down to numerous things and isn't a sign that she's not attractive to you. Just as stress can delay periods, pressure to have an erection can cause one not to happen or to take more effort than usual.
There are plenty of men who wouldn't have been able to get a second erection then...