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Gave teacher inappropriate card n gift? - embarrassed watch

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    So I gave this teacher well an admin at my school an ‘inappropriate’ gift n card. They’ve helped me a lot in the 2 years so I gave her a card and wrote how much I appreciated them and that I’d be lost without them n their support during my time at sixth form ect.

    I got called into the office and got told that they’d have to give me the gift back (earrings which weren’t expensive) and some chocolates because the card was inappropriate basically. I feel humiliated to be honest. How do I get by this because I just feel like all the teachers are having a good laugh at me now.

    I understand there’s a student teacher boundary but I feel like everyone has read the card now and I just feel absolutely stupid.

    Any advice to get by this without feeling so shameful?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I gave this teacher well an admin at my school an ‘inappropriate’ gift n card. They’ve helped me a lot in the 2 years so I gave her a card and wrote how much I appreciated them and that I’d be lost without them n their support during my time at sixth form ect.

    I got called into the office and got told that they’d have to give me the gift back (earrings which weren’t expensive) and some chocolates because the card was inappropriate basically. I feel humiliated to be honest. How do I get by this because I just feel like all the teachers are having a good laugh at me now.

    I understand there’s a student teacher boundary but I feel like everyone has read the card now and I just feel absolutely stupid.

    Any advice to get by this without feeling so shameful?
    Really? I've had small gifts and cards in the past as have many of my colleagues - I think your school has the problem, not you.
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    Well first of all, that was very sweet gesture, regardless of what any other staff members at the school think.

    I will say though that giving earrings as a gift to a teacher does seem a little bit outlandish to me personally, considering it's usually a gift given to a significant other or somebody dear to you. I understand how it could make somebody feel uncomfortable if they did receive that as a gift from somebody not close to them, regardless of your intent.

    It really does depend on the person and the school though. I've heard of some schools that have strict policies disallowing students from buying gifts and cards for teachers, whereas some others don't mind at all.

    Though the gifts had to be returned back to you, I'm very sure that this admin lady really appreciated the gesture and the thought.
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    if you had bought them a dildo then clearly that would be inappropriate; a few cheap trinkets does not seem terribly excessive :dontknow:
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    They are not doing this to have a laugh at you, but simply because of school policy. Teachers can easily lose their jobs if they are seen to do anything that could encourage inappropriate feelings or behaviour (romance, bribes, favoritism etc) between them and their students, and so although dealing with such incidents may be highly awkward for everyone concerned, at the end of the day a firm line has to be drawn somewhere.

    Just treat this as a learning curve lesson. While the gifts were very nice (and made with totally genuine & grateful intentions etc), in hindsight you can probably see now how this could be construed in other ways?
    It's how stuff like this can be construed that teachers have got to be worry about.

    Some silver linings to the cloud though:

    1. Over the course of their careers, teachers will get a lot of gifts etc from students (you certainly weren't the first and certainly won't be the last!).

    2. The teacher would have certainly felt touched by the gesture (it's just not one that due to her position, she could keep or reciprocate).

    3. The teachers won't all be talking about this because they are professional and out of the hundreds of things which happen at the school every week (endless meetings, incidents, assignments etc), this will hardly be news/on the agenda.
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    Just tell them to throw it in the bin.
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    Dude you wrote something romantically suggestive in the card didn't you LOL. Come on now be honest.
 
 
 
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