Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    me and my boyfriend broke up because he cant handle my friendship with another guy. he said he cant deal with the other guy being in my life, and if me and him are to get back together then i have to get rid of my male best friend. He argued that i should be able to because he had got rid of people that i was uncomfortable with, but i never asked him to do that because i think he should be able to be friends with whoever, and i was only uncomfortable with these people because they are crappy friends to him.

    im really upset because me and the other guy are truly just friends, and have really tried to prove this to my ex, and have invited him to come hang with us and also we only hang out when at college so he can see nothing is going on.

    sometimes he is okay about my friend and for a while was hanging out with us and they got along, and other times he freaks out down the phone and yells at me that he wishes me and the guy had never became friends and that ive really ****ed him up. he has followed us around in college to check up on us.

    am i being a ****? this guy makes him really anxious, he really freaks out when me and him hang out and gets incredibly paranoid, but i just feel i should be able to be friends with whoever i want, and if i was secretive about the friendship hed be even more upset if he found that i was still friends with this guy.

    i just cant help this feeling that this is my ex's own anxieties, and not something ive done, but at the same time my ex has made me feel incredibly guilty, and im so scared that my friendship with this guy is what will push him over the edge. im worried that im being selfish and that i should be doing what will help my ex, and then we can get back together.

    advice is needed please.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    He broke up because he didn't trust you. It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex, your ex couldn't accept that and broke things off due to his insecurities. You'll find someone who trusts you more, don't worry about it.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    Damnn, I think if you and ur male bestfriend are a little touchy/ intimate, it’s understandable as to why your ex might’ve gotten mad.
    However, I’ve been a similar situation and during that time I was still really good friends with my guy bestfriend but I was just a little less touchy compared to when I was single.
    But that doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong, your ex should be able to deal with you having other male friends and I’m sorry if he can’t understand that then maybe it’s okay for you to let him go.
    It seems as if he’s super insecure and he needs some time to work on that. You could help him through continuing to reassure him of his role in your life and so on. Just let him know that your still gonna be there for him, no matter what he thinks and give him time.
    I’m sure everything will work out in the end, good-luck and I hope this helped. xx
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #2
    #2

    Yeah, I don't think you should get back together with him if he can't accept you having guy friends. That's his insecurity and not yours. You've shown him time and time again that you and your friend are just friends. You have already gone out of your way to make him feel comfortable and he's still not happy. If something does not make you happy or stresses you out, it is meant to be cut out of your life. Just a small quote for ya.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by UWS)
    He broke up because he didn't trust you. It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex, your ex couldn't accept that and broke things off due to his insecurities. You'll find someone who trusts you more, don't worry about it.
    Thank you for this
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 10, 2018

2,213

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.