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I need advice on how to talk to a parent watch

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    So, I am 15 years old. Have a bunch of siblings- some older, some younger and yet I am the only child who is required to follow certain rules. Here are a few:
    1) not allowed to go on phone in my bedroom.

    2) not allowed to make friends with people my age

    3) ABOSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF BOYS (very important rule)


    So these are a general few. Now these are not written down anywhere nor have they been explicitly mentioned. But I have hell to pay if I break one of them. E.g. I made some friends in year 7 and they didn’t like it so they pulled me out of school and ‘homeschooled’ me. When I say homeschooled I mean that I teach myself. I have no help other than my books and with GCSEs in a few weeks... I’m basically stressing a lot.

    So does anyone have any ideas on how to make my parents realise that they are a little too controlling? I mean, they’re the nicest people I know but I think it’s a little unfair that out of all my siblings, I’m the only one who has to follow these rules. And not having any friends for the last 5 years has been torture. I love talking to people. But now I literally talk to myself in the mirror because I crave social interaction. I need help and some mature ideas on how to explain my point to my parents

    Thank you

    EDIT:

    So I talked to them both this morning and gave my points. I took some of your guys advice and i asked them the reason for each rule and explained the pros and cons.
    When I had finished they just nodded and told me that they didn’t pull me out of school because they wanted to but because they knew that one day I would thank them for being able to stay myself. And that having friends would just make me into a sheep who followed the crowd.
    I told them that I felt like I hadn’t been able to develop as a teenager and that I was lonely so they said that I seemed fine and that I was being dramatic over nothing.

    So yeah after about an hour of me trying to explain to them how I felt, they eventually snapped at shouted at me that I was being ungrateful and that the only thing I should be worrying about is my exams.

    But I’m going to keep trying and hopefully one day I’ll be able to get through to them.

    In the meantime wish me luck on my exams I think I could use it- they’re going to be so hard
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    So, I am 15 years old. Have a bunch of siblings- some older, some younger and yet I am the only child who is required to follow certain rules. Here are a few:
    1) not allowed to go on phone in my bedroom.

    2) not allowed to make friends with people my age

    3) ABOSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF BOYS (very important rule)

    4) no swearing. That means I can’t say words like ‘tramp’ or ‘useless’ or ‘I don’t care’

    So these are a general few. Now these are not written down anywhere nor have they been explicitly mentioned. But I have hell to pay if I break one of them. E.g. I made some friends in year 7 and they didn’t like it so they pulled me out of school and ‘homeschooled’ me. When I say homeschooled I mean that I teach myself. I have no help other than my books and with GCSEs in a few weeks... I’m basically stressing a lot.

    So does anyone have any ideas on how to make my parents realise that they are a little too controlling? I mean, they’re the nicest people I know but I think it’s a little unfair that out of all my siblings, I’m the only one who has to follow these rules. And not having any friends for the last 5 years has been torture. I love talking to people. But now I literally talk to myself in the mirror because I crave social interaction. I need help and some mature ideas on how to explain my point to my parents

    Thank you
    I will be your friend, your parents sound too harsh
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    (Original post by Y11_Maths)
    I will be your friend, your parents sound too harsh
    Aw thanks they’re really not that bad but I do really want to be able to get my point across to them
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    Aw thanks they’re really not that bad but I do really want to be able to get my point across to them
    Ask to talk to them seriously and see if you can negotiate. Discuss what you want and what you will do in return if they let you do it. You sound very sensible
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    So, I am 15 years old. Have a bunch of siblings- some older, some younger and yet I am the only child who is required to follow certain rules. Here are a few:
    1) not allowed to go on phone in my bedroom.

    2) not allowed to make friends with people my age

    3) ABOSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF BOYS (very important rule)

    4) no swearing. That means I can’t say words like ‘tramp’ or ‘useless’ or ‘I don’t care’

    So these are a general few. Now these are not written down anywhere nor have they been explicitly mentioned. But I have hell to pay if I break one of them. E.g. I made some friends in year 7 and they didn’t like it so they pulled me out of school and ‘homeschooled’ me. When I say homeschooled I mean that I teach myself. I have no help other than my books and with GCSEs in a few weeks... I’m basically stressing a lot.

    So does anyone have any ideas on how to make my parents realise that they are a little too controlling? I mean, they’re the nicest people I know but I think it’s a little unfair that out of all my siblings, I’m the only one who has to follow these rules. And not having any friends for the last 5 years has been torture. I love talking to people. But now I literally talk to myself in the mirror because I crave social interaction. I need help and some mature ideas on how to explain my point to my parents

    Thank you
    do you have a clue on why your parents dont let you make friends?is it due to the fact that they have never liked your friends or...
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    Sounds like you need an external person, who they respect and will heed, to mediate for you.
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    (Original post by Y11_Maths)
    Ask to talk to them seriously and see if you can negotiate. Discuss what you want and what you will do in return if they let you do it. You sound very sensible
    Well they said their main reason for not wanting me to have friends was that I would be influenced badly. So maybe I should show them that I would be able to both have friends and remain the way I am? I’m just worried that when I am able to talk to people- I will not be able to fit in. But I will give it a try!
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    Well they said their main reason for not wanting me to have friends was that I would be influenced badly. So maybe I should show them that I would be able to both have friends and remain the way I am? I’m just worried that when I am able to talk to people- I will not be able to fit in. But I will give it a try!
    I’m sure you will be fine
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    do you have a clue on why your parents dont let you make friends?is it due to the fact that they have never liked your friends or...
    They didn’t want me to be influenced. I think it’s because they think that I am too soft and that making friends would change me into someone else
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    But now I literally talk to myself in the mirror because I crave social interaction.
    i thought i was crazy. lol.
    Spoiler:
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    joking aside, i hate to jump to conclusions but do your parents hate you? i can't possibly think of any other reason to think why they're doing this to you. is it some kind of power trip for them?

    i understand rules like 'no mention of boys' and 'no swearing...' because that's normal. i wouldn't say it's right but it's typical. however, things like 'no friends your age', 'taking you out of school for homeschool because of talking to people' and 'can't go on phone in your bedroom' sounds like abuse, especially if your siblings don't have to adhere to those rules (not that it makes any less worse).


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    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    Sounds like you need an external person, who they respect and will heed, to mediate for you.
    Easier said than done. I don’t know if I’d be able to find anyone that they’d like. Thank you for your advice though
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    (Original post by num.7)
    i thought i was crazy. lol.
    Spoiler:
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    joking aside, i hate to jump to conclusions but do your parents hate you? i can't possibly think of any other reason to think why they're doing this to you.

    i understand rules like 'no mention of boys' and 'no swearing...' because that's normal. i wouldn't say it's right but it's typical. however, things like 'no friends your age', 'taking you out of school for homeschool because of talking to people' and 'can't go on phone in your bedroom' sounds like abuse, especially if your siblings don't have to adhere to those rules (not that it makes any less worse).

    i don't have any experience of handling such a situation so i hope other users do help you. have you tried talking to them directly about all of this ********?


    I am probably the... well I’m a pushover. They are both incredibly protective so I think it has something to do with that.
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    Easier said than done. I don’t know if I’d be able to find anyone that they’d like. Thank you for your advice though
    Well, that's more within your power than within ours. Think hard: there'll be someone, however improbable it may seem.
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    So, I am 15 years old. Have a bunch of siblings- some older, some younger and yet I am the only child who is required to follow certain rules. Here are a few:
    1) not allowed to go on phone in my bedroom.

    2) not allowed to make friends with people my age

    3) ABOSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF BOYS (very important rule)


    So these are a general few. Now these are not written down anywhere nor have they been explicitly mentioned. But I have hell to pay if I break one of them. E.g. I made some friends in year 7 and they didn’t like it so they pulled me out of school and ‘homeschooled’ me. When I say homeschooled I mean that I teach myself. I have no help other than my books and with GCSEs in a few weeks... I’m basically stressing a lot.

    So does anyone have any ideas on how to make my parents realise that they are a little too controlling? I mean, they’re the nicest people I know but I think it’s a little unfair that out of all my siblings, I’m the only one who has to follow these rules. And not having any friends for the last 5 years has been torture. I love talking to people. But now I literally talk to myself in the mirror because I crave social interaction. I need help and some mature ideas on how to explain my point to my parents

    Thank you
    Go to your parents and tell them that you are not challenging or questioning their rules but you would like to know the reasons for each of those rules.
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    Sounds like your being smothered by them, i’ll be a new friend tho if u want
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    I am probably the... well I’m a pushover. They are both incredibly protective so I think it has something to do with that.
    i'm serious ****ing worried about you.

    do you have a sibling, who's around your age and is the same sex as you?
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    why dont you get your older siblings to talk to them?
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    (Original post by num.7)
    i'm serious ****ing worried about you.

    do you have a sibling, who's around your age and is the same sex as you?
    I do have a younger sister. But we’re very different and she’s a good few years younger. She’s more of leader type personality and we don’t always get on.
    Thanks for your concern though I’m not really crazy- i promise. But maybe a bit socially awkward
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    I actually go to school and have no friends, trust me. People these days aren’t worth being friends with. Some people have growing up to do, I lost friends due to them smoking and drinking. Anyway your parents probably believe they’re doing the right thing, just let them know it’s effecting you negatively. I’m sure they’ll want to do what’s best for you. If you let them know they’re not helping, maybe they’ll reconsider and give you more freedom x
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    (Original post by Kayabanana)
    They didn’t want me to be influenced. I think it’s because they think that I am too soft and that making friends would change me into someone else
    next time, you should get your parents to meet them (this may help)
 
 
 
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