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My boyfriend thinks of other girls when we kiss watch

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    I was wondering if anyone would be able to help me. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 18. My boyfriend has told me he's had a sex dream about my best friend. Not only this but he has also admitted that sometimes when we kiss he thinks of another girl. He said its happened for a split second in sex before as well. This clearly has really messed with my head because he says he's no idea why it's happening and he only wants to be with me and no one else. We have been together for over a year now. I am his first girlfriend. I have asked him if he thinks he needs to see other people but he is very strongly minded that it's not the case and gets really upset when I suggest that. I know my boyfriend is not one to cheat and is very honest with me. I really do like him and care for him a lot and I think he feels the same way about me. However I just can't get this out of my head and I need help as to what this could mean.
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    I was wondering if anyone would be able to help me. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 18. My boyfriend has told me he's had a sex dream about my best friend. Not only this but he has also admitted that sometimes when we kiss he thinks of another girl. He said its happened for a split second in sex before as well. This clearly has really messed with my head because he says he's no idea why it's happening and he only wants to be with me and no one else. We have been together for over a year now. I am his first girlfriend. I have asked him if he thinks he needs to see other people but he is very strongly minded that it's not the case and gets really upset when I suggest that. I know my boyfriend is not one to cheat and is very honest with me. I really do like him and care for him a lot and I think he feels the same way about me. However I just can't get this out of my head and I need help as to what this could mean.
    Jesus. To be honest I think we all sometimes have wandering thoughts but I think maybe it was a mistake of him to say those thoughts out loud.
    The kissing one is f*cked up though, because that's more of a sweet romantic moment between you two.
    Is it always this one specific girl he thinks about?
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    He sounds immature
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Jesus. To be honest I think we all sometimes have wandering thoughts but I think maybe it was a mistake of him to say those thoughts out loud.
    The kissing one is f*cked up though, because that's more of a sweet romantic moment between you two.
    Is it always this one specific girl he thinks about?
    Yes it's the same girl he says it's happened two or three times before when we've kissed. He admitted he found her attractive but has no idea why the thought of her keeps coming into his mind when we kiss etc... It's just made me feel pretty ****
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    Yes it's the same girl he says it's happened two or three times before when we've kissed. He admitted he found her attractive but has no idea why the thought of her keeps coming into his mind when we kiss etc... It's just made me feel pretty ****
    I don't blame you. How does he know the girl? I mean I guess it's good that he's so open and honest... but I still think it's pretty odd especially during such intimate moments where you'd expect him to be fully present.
    I'd feel awful if a bf of mine thought of another girl during those moments. I'd probs get rid
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't blame you. How does he know the girl? I mean I guess it's good that he's so open and honest... but I still think it's pretty odd especially during such intimate moments where you'd expect him to be fully present.
    I'd feel awful if a bf of mine thought of another girl during those moments. I'd probs get rid
    He knows her through school, he's going to prom with her in 2 weeks. I told him he can be a single guy on that night but he has to tell me everything after even if he was just tempted. I feel I could then make my decision on weather I want to be with him or not. I do feel bad about the whole thing but other than this he's the most flawless boyfriend and I can't fault him on a single thing. I would feel awful giving that up!
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    he's an idiot tbh

    not necessarily for having the thoughts [as perhaps he can't help it]

    but for verbalising it to you

    I mean who says to their gf that they had a dream about ****ing her best friend??

    Aspergers?
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    he's an idiot tbh

    not necessarily for having the thoughts [as perhaps he can't help it]

    but for verbalising it to you

    I mean who says to their gf that they had a dream about ****ing her best friend??

    Aspergers?
    I know so stupid right? I said that to him, he was like I was just being honest I didn't want to keep it from you. I think he now realises he shouldn't have said anything, but that doesn't fix things
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    He knows her through school, he's going to prom with her in 2 weeks. I told him he can be a single guy on that night but he has to tell me everything after even if he was just tempted. I feel I could then make my decision on weather I want to be with him or not. I do feel bad about the whole thing but other than this he's the most flawless boyfriend and I can't fault him on a single thing. I would feel awful giving that up!
    Sorry, what? You're clearly not happy but giving him the opportunity to "be single" with the girl he's been having sex dreams about? You cannot be serious here. It's almost as if you want him to cheat so you can ditch him.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Sorry, what? You're clearly not happy but giving him the opportunity to "be single" with the girl he's been having sex dreams about? You cannot be serious here. It's almost as if you want him to cheat so you can ditch him.
    This is the only way I'll find out if he genuinely wants me. I don't want to be with him if he's not 100% wanting me, actions speak louder than words. If I say don't talk to her then there will always be that thought in his head weather or not he wants me. It will put my mind at rest.
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    This is the only way I'll find out if he genuinely wants me. I don't want to be with him if he's not 100% wanting me, actions speak louder than words. If I say don't talk to her then there will always be that thought in his head weather or not he wants me. It will put my mind at rest.
    You don't trust him then. Otherwise you wouldn't need to test his loyalty by giving him permission to be single and see what he does with this girl. That's just being petty by the way. Why not be up front with him and tell him that you're not happy with how he told you about the dreams he had with this girl?

    Stop playing games.
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    This is the only way I'll find out if he genuinely wants me.
    Ffs, children...
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    Why's he snitching on himself?

    That in itself warrants a dump.
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    dont be a melt
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    (Original post by Paul Makin)
    dont be a melt
    what u mean
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    I agree with UWS. If you need your boyfriend to prove to you he doesn't want to cheat, then it's a pretty sh*tty relationship. By telling him he can be single at prom, you're just going to hurt yourself. If he does decide to do things with this girl and it hurts you, don't come crying back here saying how upset you are because you made it happen. Just be straight and honest with him about how it's making you feel. There's no need to tell him to be single for one night, because then you might as well break up if that's your response to a problem "oh go and be single and then see if you really like me".

    In a relationship, you need to be able to trust your partner. You don't trust your boyfriend. And there is no relationship without trust.
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    (Original post by sarahjam12)
    I was wondering if anyone would be able to help me. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 18. My boyfriend has told me he's had a sex dream about my best friend. Not only this but he has also admitted that sometimes when we kiss he thinks of another girl. He said its happened for a split second in sex before as well. This clearly has really messed with my head because he says he's no idea why it's happening and he only wants to be with me and no one else. We have been together for over a year now. I am his first girlfriend. I have asked him if he thinks he needs to see other people but he is very strongly minded that it's not the case and gets really upset when I suggest that. I know my boyfriend is not one to cheat and is very honest with me. I really do like him and care for him a lot and I think he feels the same way about me. However I just can't get this out of my head and I need help as to what this could mean.
    To say your boyfriend is very honest with you is quite an understatement. That degree of honesty is a blessing and a curse. I'm sure it did upset you. However, you shouldn't obsess over it. It would probably rank as pretty tame if you could see a video of the average 18 yr. olds thoughts while kissing his girlfriend. As to what it means to your relationship, probably nothing.
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    (Original post by yankeedog1953)
    To say your boyfriend is very honest with you is quite an understatement. That degree of honesty is a blessing and a curse. I'm sure it did upset you. However, you shouldn't obsess over it. It would probably rank as pretty tame if you could see a video of the average 18 yr. olds thoughts while kissing his girlfriend. As to what it means to your relationship, probably nothing.
    I think you're right thank you
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    Have you not watched American Pie Naked Mile, where the girlfriend gives her bloke a 'guilt free pass' and instantly regrets it?
    Might be worth watching that.

    Plus, your boyfriend maybe shouldn't have said those things about having sexy thoughts about your friend.
    Why are you not his date for the prom?
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    (Original post by Adz2042)
    Have you not watched American Pie Naked Mile, where the girlfriend gives her bloke a 'guilt free pass' and instantly regrets it?
    Might be worth watching that.

    Plus, your boyfriend maybe shouldn't have said those things about having sexy thoughts about your friend.
    Why are you not his date for the prom?
    I've never seen it no, I'll give it a watch. I'm not his date because unfortunately I'm away skiing.
 
 
 
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