At school in sixth form, I met this girl in my media class who I quickly developed a serious crush on, to the point where, by the end of our last year, it was fair to say I was in love with her. We shared a lot of common interests and seemed to get on so well in many areas. On top of that, she'd always been really nice and friendly towards me, and always supportive of things I did, but I was just always far too scared to ever tell her how I felt about her.
I then started uni and she went somewhere else and so I really thought I'd never see her again, and after a while, I stopped thinking about her and was able to move on altogether.
Then, at the start of my second year, I found out that, by pure chance, she had just started at my same uni, doing the same course as me (media production), and in the year below me. When she saw me a few weeks later, she seemed really happy to see me, had a really friendly chat with me, sat with me, really talked to me and I just fell in love with her all over again.
Unfortunately, once again, I was far too scared to tell her how I felt, and I wasted all of second year not saying anything, having only seen her a few times.
Third year came, and because by now these resurgent feelings had built up so much, I was now starting to act awkwardly around her. The first time I saw her this year was when I was walking down a media corridor and I saw her chatting with a friend up ahead, waiting outside a room. I stopped where I was and pretended to check my phone, just building up the courage to walk through, but then she noticed me, and because I was so petrified, I feel I acted really awkwardly around her.
The thing is, I'd been trying to message her on social media a few times, but to no avail. She doesn't have Facebook, but she has Instagram and Twitter, and I messaged her on Insta once shortly after we finished school, but she never responded. I then messaged her again years later, shortly after I knew she was at my uni, asking if she wanted to meet up. Again, she never responded. I've messaged her a couple of times since as well, trying to ask if I could tell her something (how I felt), but it was the same outcome, and none of the messages were ever mentioned when I saw her in person either.
I told another friend I had back at school all about it, and knowing a bit about her, strongly advised that I didn't pursue anything and moved on. She felt that she never would go for me in a million years, being incredibly out of my league and the fact that she wasn't reciprocating or responding to anything I was saying to her online. Eventually, I reluctantly agreed I was flogging a dead horse. I then deleted her on Instagram and Twitter and tried to stop thinking about her altogether.
Most of the time I've been reasonably alright, but here's my issue: I've seen her round the campus a few times since, most of the time she hasn't seen me. Whenever I knew it was her, I'd either go a different way to avoid her, or discreetly look away and hope I wasn't seen. The last time, we were going in opposite directions and close enough that she potentially could have seen me, but she walked past me without a word or look. I don't know if she genuinely didn't see me or was trying to ignore me. The thing is, every time I see her round the campus, in that moment, the feelings come back, and every time it hurts more than the last.
I feel that, as long as I haven't had any form of closure (and indeed found it near impossible to get any form of closure), I'm unable to truly move on. Seeing her around a lot is a painful and difficult reminder, until I've told her how I feel and at least have some confidence that she's read it (though a response would be much better). Forcing myself to avoid her whenever I see her, just to avoid awkwardness at the unknown, has actually been more painful than I thought. I don't even care anymore if it turns out she hates me and wants nothing more to do with me. At least I'd have a firm answer and could quickly forget about it all.
So, not wanting to contact her again on Instagram (it would literally get me nowhere), and being unable to contact her on Twitter, I've had to look for other ways to get in touch with her and just tell her bluntly how I feel, which is difficult considering I'm not friends with anyone who's close to her. But I then remembered that our university emails are all listed and accessible on the uni's media school network. So, sure enough, I looked and I found her there.
Short of calling out to her in person next time I happen to see her and awkwardly telling her to her face (which I would struggle with), it seems emailing her on her uni account and finally explaining to her how I've felt about her all this time, is the only thing left for me to do, but I wanted to hear a second opinion on this as well.
Would this be a good idea? I have no idea whatsoever of what she thinks of me, so I just worry whether suddenly popping up on her university outlook inbox would seem a bit dodgy to her and only give a worse impression? At the same time, seeing as I won't have to see her again in a few months, maybe that won't matter anymore? What do you guys think? Thanks for your time!
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How do I tell this girl I like her? watch
- Thread Starter
- 07-03-2018 14:24
- 07-03-2018 15:38
I mean considering you had a crush on her and haven't progressed in like 4 years is pretty mad. I don't think she likes you and i'm only saying that because you being friends for this long you would at least hang out a dozen times, the best thing to do is contact her in person saying if she wants to go to do something instead of saying you love her or whatever, try to develop from there. Don't fall under pressure and act calm and collected and she might start to hang out with you. Of course if she does say yes and you hang out, message her on insta or whatever she has and if she does reply then maybe start messaging more if that is easier for you. Don't freak out though because she doesn't reply as I knew a girl who rarely replied to me in texts yet always talked in person as that is how some people are.
- 07-03-2018 17:53
Dude, its fate; ask her out, its meant to be.