basically a few months ago i went on my bfs tumblr by accident as i was trying to log into my own on his computer and noticed he had a load of messages asking other women on tumblr for nudes and he had another account dedicated to asking for them to join a nsfw groupchat on kik. after finding this out i was devastated, it ended at the start of last year and we have been dating for two years. we decided to try and make things work again and i know i'm a fool but i really want to put the past behind us. how do i stop feeling threatened every time he goes on tumblr?
x
Turn on thread page Beta
-
- 1
- 07-03-2018 19:47
-
Noodlestudent
- Follow
- 1 follower
- 18 badges
- Send a private message to Noodlestudent
Offline18ReputationRep:- Follow
- 2
- 07-03-2018 19:49
That feeling will probably never truly go away, and he should understand that. He broke your trust and he needs to try to get it back!
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
- Follow
- 3
- 07-03-2018 19:52
Dump him.
-
- 4
- 07-03-2018 19:54
(Original post by Anonymous)
basically a few months ago i went on my bfs tumblr by accident as i was trying to log into my own on his computer and noticed he had a load of messages asking other women on tumblr for nudes and he had another account dedicated to asking for them to join a nsfw groupchat on kik. after finding this out i was devastated, it ended at the start of last year and we have been dating for two years. we decided to try and make things work again and i know i'm a fool but i really want to put the past behind us. how do i stop feeling threatened every time he goes on tumblr?
It wasn't anything too terrible but it did take me quite by surprise! The thing that really hurt my feelings is that I found the occasional text post on there complaining about me, specifically the lack of sex he believes he gets - thank God it was an anonymous account.
Although there are other things between us it has largely ruined the relationship and whilst we're stringing it along just now - I think we both know that at a certain point this is going to have to come to an end. -
alicesmiloves
- Follow
- 0 followers
- 6 badges
- Send a private message to alicesmiloves
Offline6ReputationRep:- Follow
- 5
- 07-03-2018 19:57
I agree with the first post, he broke your trust and he has to win it back, and as for yourself, just think of it as something that is not worth your time and piece of mind. If you can't get past (and I don't blame you if you can't) than its most likely the relationship won't work out again. In relationships, mistakes will be made and we decide if we are going to stick through it or cut it. It all depends on the situation. This one isn't as bad as a full on cheating but it is still being dishonest to you.
Last edited by alicesmiloves; 07-03-2018 at 19:58. -
Tiger Rag
- Follow
- 138 followers
- 22 badges
- Send a private message to Tiger Rag
- Very Important Poster
Offline22ReputationRep:Very Important Poster- Follow
- 6
- 07-03-2018 19:58
Why are you with him?
-
UWS
- Follow
- 471 followers
- 21 badges
- Send a private message to UWS
- Very Important Poster
Offline21ReputationRep:Very Important Poster- Follow
- 7
- 07-03-2018 19:59
The mistake was taking him back.
What's a relationship without trust? -
- 8
- 07-03-2018 20:06
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm actually in a slightly similar position in that I discovered a few months ago that my boyfriend was running a porn tumblr account.
It wasn't anything too terrible but it did take me quite by surprise! The thing that really hurt my feelings is that I found the occasional text post on there complaining about me, specifically the lack of sex he believes he gets - thank God it was an anonymous account.
Although there are other things between us it has largely ruined the relationship and whilst we're stringing it along just now - I think we both know that at a certain point this is going to have to come to an end. -
DCFCfan4eva
- Follow
- 7 followers
- 17 badges
- Send a private message to DCFCfan4eva
- Visit DCFCfan4eva's homepage!
Offline17ReputationRep:- Follow
- 9
- 07-03-2018 20:26
Not really sure why you're with him to be honest.
If he deleted tumblr account then fair enough, but if he's still on it,why are you with him? -
- Follow
- 10
- 07-03-2018 20:27
(Original post by Anonymous)
basically a few months ago i went on my bfs tumblr by accident as i was trying to log into my own on his computer and noticed he had a load of messages asking other women on tumblr for nudes and he had another account dedicated to asking for them to join a nsfw groupchat on kik. after finding this out i was devastated, it ended at the start of last year and we have been dating for two years. we decided to try and make things work again and i know i'm a fool but i really want to put the past behind us. how do i stop feeling threatened every time he goes on tumblr? -
waggonerchris
- Follow
- 0 followers
- 1 badge
- Send a private message to waggonerchris
Offline1ReputationRep:- Follow
- 11
- 08-03-2018 15:51
Let's be clear about this, you're not happy with him, and he broke an important rule of your relationship (I assume that because you never mentioned that you were open about these things). You should also know that you can't dictate his life, and he can't dictate your's. When you're away from him, you will never know for sure what he's doing, and he has complete free will. Also, you've just caught him, which likely means that he'll just be more careful about his undercover pervert operations from now on. This also means though, that you can do the same as well. I do not want to give ideas, but if what he's doing does not count as cheating according to him, then let the same rules apply to yourself. If you really want to make it work but at the same time, want to cancel out his wrongdoings by getting even, that's entirely your choice. If you want to just blindly trust him again, that is also your choice. I would, however, suggest that you break up. I understand that you're not happy, and by the looks of things, neither is he. If you two were truly happy, I don't see how this incident would've ever occurred. No matter what reason he gives, if you're not happy with the relationship, it's best to end it.
-
yungaheartz
- Follow
- 4 followers
- 16 badges
- Send a private message to yungaheartz
Offline16ReputationRep:- Follow
- 12
- 08-03-2018 15:54
you're a fool to try putting it behind you. dump him and move on.
-
- 13
- 10-03-2018 10:30
(Original post by Anonymous)
it's awful isn't it. i just want to try and make it work, does your bf still go on tumblr?
I've never seen him on Tumblr since then but he is increasingly in the habit of messaging girls on Instagram now. I've seen some of those messages through accidental, I suppose you could call it that, glances at his phone whilst he's using it.
Those messages are innocent enough but I question his motives for sending them. All of the trust has evaporated from the relationship, especially on my side, and although we're both very good at pretending nothing is wrong... I would be pretty amazed to find out that my current boyfriend is the man I end up marrying.
I feel like he actually does want to rebuild that trust and make the relationship work but I think he just can't help himself but violate it. -
- 14
- 10-03-2018 10:33
(Original post by waggonerchris)
This also means though, that you can do the same as well. I do not want to give ideas, but if what he's doing does not count as cheating according to him, then let the same rules apply to yourself.
If your goal is to fix the relationship then it definitely wont accomplish that and if your goal is to get out of the relationship cleanly, and with a clear, good conscience that it was his behaviour that ruined it - then it's going to make that unlikely also.
Fix it or end it: don't play with it. -
bowl-of-rice
- Follow
- 1 follower
- 7 badges
- Send a private message to bowl-of-rice
Offline7ReputationRep:- Follow
- 15
- 10-03-2018 20:14
dump the d*ckhead and move on. You deserve way better
-
- Follow
- 16
- 10-03-2018 20:36
Dump him!
-
ChickenMadness
- Follow
- 137 followers
- 20 badges
- Send a private message to ChickenMadness
Offline20ReputationRep:- Follow
- 17
- 11-03-2018 01:00
dump the sloot
-
- 18
- 11-03-2018 01:03
Dump him. I swear you or someone else has been making similar threads like this for a few months. If it's still as much of a problem now as it was a few moths ago then realistically you're never going to get over it. And I don't blame you either because he doesn't sound like a good boyfriend. He is not loyal.
-
- 19
- 11-03-2018 10:27
Honey get rid of this man's. He been secretive in the past and he hasn't won ur trust back. Dump him, block him, and get someone who makes u feel safe in that relationship, like they aren't gonna do some sneak **** behind your back.
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team
We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.
This forum is supported by:
Updated: March 11, 2018
Share this discussion:
Tweet