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I feel so depressed all the time and it's destroying my grades watch

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    I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I've felt like this since I was about 12ish (I'm 18 now). I just feel so sad all the time, I can't remember the last time I've fallen asleep without crying. I have a few personal issues going on at home, but otherwise I have a good circle of friends and a lovely boyfriend, but I can never seem to fous on the positives in my life. I asked my mom if I could see a GP or something to discuss how I'm feeling when I was about 15, but she said no and got really angry with me. I accepted it at the time as I thought I was just in a bad phase but I'm still in it years later and it's so exhausting pretending to be okay when really I'm just thinking about dying.

    I just waste all my time and am doing nothing with my life. So for example today I got home from sixth form at 5ish, went on my phone and just didn't really do anything productive until 6, then lay in bed being sad for no reason until i fell asleep, and I've only just woken up (9:20pm). I can't get out of this cycle - I have A level exams in a few months and am predicted high grades and want to go to my firm choice of uni but I just can't find any motivation to do anything,and it's just making me even more upset knowing that I am capable of so much but won't work for it. My grades have gone from straight As to Cs and I only have a few months to pick them back up. I literally have no idea what to do, I just know I want to stop feeling like this and get the grades I need for uni without it killing me haha. Any advice?
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    First of all, I'm really sorry to hear this. As someone who has regular mood swings, a lot of the time just miserable or downright depressed (although, nowhere near to your extent) I have a partial understanding of what you must be going through. It's a difficult one, but I'll try my best. The first thing I would suggest, you've already done. You've acknowledged that there's a problem, that there's no reason to be sad or to waste time like you're doing, and acknowledging the good things about your life as well. From this, I would firstly really, really try to focus on that; all the good things about your life and shut out the bad, and fight these depressing impulses. You've got a great family and boyfriend, and are predicted to get high grades! OK, they've slumped, but you can pick them up. You're only 18! You have your whole life ahead of you and everything to live for! Dying or thinking about ending your life is never an answer when you have all that to work towards. Suicide doesn't stop you living a depressing life; it stops it from ever getting better. I know there is every reason for hope for you, and that it doesn't have to be like this in the future! Finally, I really think it would help if you just sat down and talked to someone about your problems. By the sounds of it, you have some form of depression or other mental health issue. This is not unusual or even uncommon, and you are one of many. It is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Maybe your boyfriend, your parents, a close friend, just someone who you can share this with. A problem shared is a problem halved. I would also seriously go and talk to a GP as well. I know it didn't go well last time, and I think your mum handled it very badly. She should have been supportive of your decision to see one if it really mattered to you. If you have to go and see one in secret, without telling her, then do it. I know this may not sound desirable, but I honestly think the outcome of seeing one will help you. They can prescribe you necessary medication that will help you fight the depression and focus positively on your life and all the great things you can achieve! Remember that you're stronger than you know, and there's always someone worse off than yourself. Just keep on going, Anna, and I wish you all the best of luck for the future!
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    If it's getting to a point where this is affecting you daily life and causing you such immense distress and unhappiness I would seriously recommend talking to a medical professional who can really help you. I know it's not easy but talking and seeking the help you need really is beneficial
    I really hope things go well for you and if you need any help or advice or simply need to talk my private messages are open.
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    Hi. I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling. But I'm glad you have some people around you that can suppourt you. As I'm also an student whos doing a level exams this year I understand the pressure (thats coming from so many directions - mocks, exams, uni decisions, homework). It's natural to feel stressed for any student at this time of the year. But if it's very overwhelming then that's a different matter, especially with other things going around e.g family. It might be the case that you need coping mechanisms (whatever might help you) such as listening to music while studying that can help motivate and ease stress all around, doing meditation, going for a short walk outside. I also face some mental health issues, as well as a disability.. so some days I have no motivation to study, or I can't concentrate much and become very unproductive. Then that makes me feel so guilty that I've just wasted my day and it all just spirals down. What's helped me personally is listening to soothing music, Mabye break ur day down or tasks down e.g how long you will do homework for or revise1 topic and then how you long you will have a break. Breaks and having time for yourself is so important as you can help rearrange ur racing thoughts Mabye or just talk to a friend if you want. If you can Try doing these things, but they do require motivation
 
 
 
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