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    • Thread Starter

    Please can you sumarrise my story if you can. I am very confused and feel depressed just thinking about everything.
    This is how.

    My boyfriend and I was seeing each other for 3 years on and off... the first year of our relationship he was very interested in me all most felt like this is so overwhelming and too good. Immediately I thought i would marry him. After a year of our honeymoon period he asked if we can get married to which I obviously said yes.. we never got married as we was still planning our engagement and big day..but suddenly he became very angry over days.. he would go and drink alcahol and cone home and fight and break things. We would always break up because of his drinking problem. He would always leave packing his things and gone for good and I would always ring him begg him back and then he would come back. Once every month we would fight like this because he came home drunk abusive and very late at night and would kick a fight.
    Anyway, 2 years went like this and finally one day we broke up.. the break up happend when he stopped phoning me often and texting me and never really spoke to me that much .. I asked him why he said am not good enough for him and he does not want this relationship. I felt heart broken all over and let him go with 7 months of no contact!
    In between the 7 months mutual friend would come and say he asked about me but that still did not make me text him. He is awful, very self centred only thought of himself and within that 7 months of no contact I knew what toxic relationship I was in. He would be very disrespectful to me despite me cooking cleaning and treating him like a king but got no appreciation back not even a thanks . He would vanish when he wants to and come back when he wants too.. at some point I felt like he only came back to me because he had a roof over his head and knew I would look after him .. I am independent and work have my own house and doing very well for myself. As for him he had a business but failed to keep up because of lack of determination of opening up or getting sales in.
    After 7 months one day I got a message on Facebook messenger saying
    HI!! How are you please keep me in your prayers because I am you going thru a bad time at the moment!!
    I replied ... shouldn't have replied but I did because I wanted to talk to him I felt emotional and felt sorry for him. One message led to another and we was again living with each other for a month. In that month he would be calm and gentle and not do anything that would hurt me. I thought he has changed omg I felt like God has listened to me and I should support him thru his change. One morning I woke up and he so he me shouting and patronising me .. he was drunk ... and said am not good enough for him. He says he would rather see me with someone else. He feels like a puppet in this relationship. He says he is suffocated and discarded me. I never heard from him again. That phone call was all about him and the only thing I got to say to him was. If i was not good enough for you then why did u come back after 7 months pretending to change? He never replied and hung up. It has now been a month of no contact and I would die but never contact him again. I learnt from my mistake.

    But guess what... mutual friend just said that he asked about me and said he is glad he left because he thinks I have moved on . He says that he stalks my whatsaap and can see me hapoy on my profile pic!!

    My question is is he a sociopath? I feel like he only came to me when he had nothing no money no job.. but soon as he was back on his feet again he left me...

    Am still very confused.

    Please help.

    • #1

    I dont think he's a sociopath. In my opinion i think after the 1st year, the excitement of being together died down for him and he was beginning to lose the spark. Maybe he knew that and the drinking started because of it as it seems you were the only stability in his life. Hence why he kept coming back. Its a good think you realised it was a toxic relationship as by your description in the last part yeah, it does seem like he was using you to get back up on feet. So id say he was manipulative.

    You're successful and he has failed and he can't cope with that also doing *everything* for someone can often lead to disrespect seen that lots over the years with friends etc.
    • Thread Starter

    Thank you so much for your kind words and advise guys really appreciate it xx

    I am just very happy now that yoou are happy now as well love xoxo
    You have gone through a lot and actually today being international womens day i wish you the happiest life possible.As they say,women are like a tea-bag...you dont know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.You young lady(i assume anyway) have gone through a lot and i am literally soo emotional rgt now but in a good way anyway.I wish you the best anyway and i just want to remind you....
    I understand that you have feelings and opinins but remember that there are many other people out there and you dont have to go back to the same man if he is upsetting you BUT if he is keeping you hapy love...stay!!
    Once again, Have a wonderful time and a lovely day. xoxo
    • Thread Starter

    Happy International Women's Day to you sannhash ... I have the will power now to be able to let go.. it confused me so much because I was being used and I led that on because I could not control my feelings and emotions . I am better than that and we as women should not be able to stick with that kind of toxic waste... thank u once again for the brillant advise xx have a beautiful evening x
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