Need help on Paper 2 to get a 7 (13+ markband)! Watch

DavveTV
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Hi people!

I am constantly getting a 12 on my Paper 2 practices, and am failing to reach that 7. I think the reason for this is my structure, and how it needs to be improved so I can write more coherently and tighter (if that makes sense). I was wondering how to structure my introduction and body paragraphs.

For my introduction, I have been taught to primarily define the key concepts, give context, and then offer my thesis. The problem I have is that my definitions become to formulaic and choppy. I don't get a nice flow to it. I also don't know precisely what I need to define. If anyone have any pointers, I would to hear some on how I can tighten up my introduction.

For my body paragraphs, I am very confused on how to organize my evidences and evaluations; and how many I should include. Should I state Evidence #1, and evaluate it? Then after that state Evidence #2, and evaluate it? And finally do the same for the third? The problem I have with this is to I fail to come up with a flow and being able to link all of these in a fluid format. This is my main problem; how to organize my evidences in my body paragraphs.

Thank you for helping me or the time you took to read this.

Kind Regards, a fellow student.
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EstelOfTheEyrie
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(Original post by DavveTV)

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Hi!

I got a B in GCSE history, and an A in A level history, and for typical essays I've always followed the same structure.

For the introduction, I always try to have one date in there, and a brief overview of the essay that will follow. E.g: During the events of the First World War, which lasted from 1914 to 1918 there were numerous turning points for the allies which contributed to their success. Some elements of this success could be down to the strong leadership of generals such as Haig, or due to the new investments of technology such as the flamethrower and the tank. {Overall, the strongest point is XX} Usually your intro can be short and to the point - save some time for the main body where you'll earn the majority of the marks.

Whatever the strongest/most significant reason is, is what you'll discuss in your first paragraph. Try to aim for 3/4 paragraphs.
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DavveTV
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(Original post by EstelOfTheEyrie)
Hi!

I got a B in GCSE history, and an A in A level history, and for typical essays I've always followed the same structure.

For the introduction, I always try to have one date in there, and a brief overview of the essay that will follow. E.g: During the events of the First World War, which lasted from 1914 to 1918 there were numerous turning points for the allies which contributed to their success. Some elements of this success could be down to the strong leadership of generals such as Haig, or due to the new investments of technology such as the flamethrower and the tank. {Overall, the strongest point is XX} Usually your intro can be short and to the point - save some time for the main body where you'll earn the majority of the marks.

Whatever the strongest/most significant reason is, is what you'll discuss in your first paragraph. Try to aim for 3/4 paragraphs.
Thanks for the quick reply!

I see what you're saying, and your example did give me a good basis on how to write a more coherent introduction. What I am still unsure about is how to structure my main paragraphs. I have no problem choosing which points to bring up, but am flustered on now knowing how to organize my evidence and evaluation within these paragraphs.

Kind Regards, a student.
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