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    Before reading this please understand I already feel ashamed of my behavior. At work yesterday a particularly demanding customer (not even one of ours) was on the telephone, and after around 15 minutes of telling them I couldn't assist without permission from the actual customer, they asked for my name and I ended the call. A supervisor and coworker overheard the call, and, after I ended the call the supervisor stated that they were just about to disconnect the call as they knew the conversation was going nowhere (it’s also commonplace for some callers to become abusive).

    Unthinkingly I then lied (stupidly!) and said that they'd sworn at me to justify why I ended the call (they hadn't). Verbal abuse is a daily occurrence so people didn't question it. Problem is, my boss listened to the call. The boss called me in for a chat and didn't even mention the fact that the customer hadn't sworn at me, just told me how I could improve my explanation of how the service operates and what strategies I could employ in the future. I apologized and said that I had taken the advice on board.

    I feel disgusted with myself as I have a good relationship with my co-workers, boss and some customers can be in dire straits. Admittedly, I just really hate the job. It's a daily grind of misery. The hours are long, the breaks are minimal (30mins/day), it's nothing more than a call center, you're told when you can go for lunch, you're micro-managed, procedures aren't adhered to, advice changes with the wind, every petty little thing is scrutinized, I'm overqualified and underemployed (post-grad with 15+years work experience), the list of wrongness goes on and on.

    Please believe me, I always try and go the extra mile but I finally snapped on this call after six months on the job and made it worse by lying. In all honesty, I just had a huge urge to scream at the caller! That’s not like me at all and I feel so stupid, utterly disappointed in myself and don't want to go back, but I need the job to keep a roof over my head. I feel as though I've lost my integrity and self-respect, especially as my boss clearly knows that I lied and might not believe a word I say in the future...feeling trapped, ashamed and frightened for the future...
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