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Need advice about a sexually abusive relationship watch

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    Hi I was abused by a guy that I used to like. I haven't been able to tell anyone about it. it's not even an option and I have to somehow get over it and deal with it myself.

    He was horrible guy but also it was my own fault for falling for him. He was using me but I am no longer in contact with him, he has blocked me but I am left in anger and he doesn't feel accountable for his actions. I feel so weak and mistreated
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi I was abused by a guy that I used to like. I haven't been able to tell anyone about it. it's not even an option and I have to somehow get over it and deal with it myself.

    He was horrible guy but also it was my own fault for falling for him. He was using me but I am no longer in contact with him, he has blocked me but I am left in anger and he doesn't feel accountable for his actions. I feel so weak and mistreated
    Hi there. Sorry you went through that.

    You may not be comfortable telling anybody you know, but you could talk to your school or GP about counselling. It's confidential except in some specific circumstances and your school should be able to arrange it so it's really discrete. They can help you through this so you don't have to go it alone.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Hi there. Sorry you went through that.

    You may not be comfortable telling anybody you know, but you could talk to your school or GP about counselling. It's confidential except in some specific circumstances and your school should be able to arrange it so it's really discrete. They can help you through this so you don't have to go it alone.
    I'm in my 20s so it was consensual but I was pressured, used and mistreated. I feel unable to move on. I am about to take time off work as I feel traumatised and depressed I cannot concentrate or pay attention or talk to anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my 20s so it was consensual but I was pressured, used and mistreated. I feel unable to move on. I am about to take time off work as I feel traumatised and depressed I cannot concentrate or pay attention or talk to anyone.
    There's a grey area between full consent and non consensual and I guess maybe that's where you were. Pressure can be an awful thing and make you do things you end up regretting or feeling bad about later. It sounds like it was a rotten situation and I'm glad you're out of it now. If you can make it this far you can make it further. It's really understandable to feel so awful after something like that, but it's not how you have to feel from now on and with some support you can move on.

    I would have a chat to your GP about counselling/ therapy or see if your area has a self referral service. Having somebody to help you work through things can be a real blessing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi I was abused by a guy that I used to like. I haven't been able to tell anyone about it. it's not even an option and I have to somehow get over it and deal with it myself.

    He was horrible guy but also it was my own fault for falling for him. He was using me but I am no longer in contact with him, he has blocked me but I am left in anger and he doesn't feel accountable for his actions. I feel so weak and mistreated
    Hi there, there was nothing about it that was your fault, not falling for him nor what happened to you! If someone abuses you then that is their fault, manipulation is a horrible thing and you can't blame yourself-
    Feeling like you're in something alone is horrible and can make a situation feel 100x worse, and just reaching out like this is really really brave and must have taken a lot of courage.
    You're never alone in anything you do, if there's anyone you feel you can confide in then I would suggest perhaps starting a conversation with them about any unhealthy relationships they might have had, not explicitly mentioning your own experience if you're not ready, but opening up that avenue of discussion.
    At the end of the day you need to look after yourself. If you're not ready to tell people just yet then you obviously don't have to, but if you think shedding light on his real character would be cathartic or helpful or what you need to move forwards, whilst also standing as a warning to other girls about him, then you do you and make sure that in it all you feel safe and in control.
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    Your age certainly isn’t an automatic consent. Being pressured into sexual acts is not sex it is abuse.

    It wasn’t your fault. None of it

    I hope you will feel able to speak to a counsellor. You’ve been brave enough to share here so you’ve proven you can tell people when you feel ready
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