Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Taken men watch

Announcements
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    I've never known a girl named Tina that wasn't a total hooer.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Tina95xo)
    And whys that a certain ‘when’
    It's a sign of an inability to commit. Fairly common. You'll probably have at least one divorce and a lonely old age. Nothing you can do about it, so go with the flow.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tina95xo)
    Oh so now I’m psychopath? Lol I think a bit of a exaggeration
    They weren't saying you definitely were, merely that you seem to exhibit certain traits....and clearly you agree if you read it that way.
    • Community Assistant
    Online

    21
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Tina95xo)
    And whys that a certain ‘when’
    If you're with a guy who cheated on his partner to be with you, he will cheat on you too.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Tina95xo)
    I don’t know how to work that out. How do you make yourself care about something you don’t naturally care about ?
    Surprisingly enough, TSR does't have an answer to that either. You would need professional psychological help if you think it's a problem. It's not really possible to teach empathy, especially not over the Internet. Besides professional help, you'd need to analyse yourself. Analyse your thinking and thought process to determine why you think in a certain way. Keep in mind it may not be natural. You may have learned this behaviour. But like I said, this is a discussion you'd need to have with a professional psychologist to actually get to the root of the problem. We don't have enough information to give you any real help and even if we did, most people here are not going to be capably trained to do so.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cat_mac)
    The girl has no commitment to the girlfriend. The girl isn’t cheating on anyone, she hasn’t broken any promises by sleeping with a taken man. It is his choice to put his d*ck in someone else, his broken promise and his fault for cheating. Who he cheated with, how many girls he cheated with, doesn’t matter because the girl(s) aren’t breaking anything. It’s morally wrong but the act of cheating and demise of a relationship isn’t their fault.

    It is a much easier way to deal with being cheated on though, pretending there’s some evil seductress who tainted a loving boyfriend who is so sorry and promised not to do it again (with his fingers crossed behind his back).
    You can't really make blanket statements for something which is very complex, and context dependant. The immorality with respect to the third party's engagement in the affair (if you pardon the pun) depends on the intention (mens rea) of the third party.

    In my experience, a lot of cheating situations occur where all parties (i.e., the couple and the 'third wheel' - man or woman) all know and have some form of relationship to one another. For example, when a 'friend' of yours serially sleeps with your partner. Where a 'friend' does sleep with your partner, they have broken the boundary of a relationship between you and them.

    In more extreme cases, such as a personal experience of mine, when your 'friends' cheat with your partner and then actively use that to belittle you, sending you pictures and videos of the ordeal, the intention is to cause another emotional turmoil and pain. This is an extreme case, although it highlights the importance to consider the situation's context in conjunction with the intention of all parties involved in the ordeal.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Only thing is when you really fall for him and he wants to stay with his missus and you get to be his bit on the side, it's probably going to be really quite s*it.

    Why not try to find an untaken man and see how that feels?
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jackwinch)
    You can't really make blanket statements for something which is very complex, and context dependant. The immorality with respect to the third party's engagement in the affair (if you pardon the pun) depends on the intention (mens rea) of the third party.

    In my experience, a lot of cheating situations occur where all parties (i.e., the couple and the 'third wheel' - man or woman) all know and have some form of relationship to one another. For example, when a 'friend' of yours serially sleeps with your partner. Where a 'friend' does sleep with your partner, they have broken the boundary of a relationship between you and them.

    In more extreme cases, such as a personal experience of mine, when your 'friends' cheat with your partner and then actively use that to belittle you, sending you pictures and videos of the ordeal, the intention is to cause another emotional turmoil and pain. This is an extreme case, although it highlights the importance to consider the situation's context in conjunction with the intention of all parties involved in the ordeal.
    If the girlfriend and the mistress are friends, it’s an entirely different ball game. Obviously these things aren’t straight forward, and I was talking about cheating with a third party who was uninvolved.

    Though even if it was the girlfriends best friend, I wouldn’t say that the best friend was responsible for the boyfriend cheating. He made the decision to break the trust in his relationship, and that’s 100% on his shoulders. The friend is responsible for breaking her relationship with her friend, but not her friend’s relationship with her boyfriend imo.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Why should YOU feel guilty, they're the ones who are married.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cat_mac)
    Though even if it was the girlfriends best friend, I wouldn’t say that the best friend was responsible for the boyfriend cheating. He made the decision to break the trust in his relationship, and that’s 100% on his shoulders. The friend is responsible for breaking her relationship with her friend, but not her friend’s relationship with her boyfriend imo.
    Not responsible, no. But party to it, obviously. We're not talking about diminished responsibility for the person within the relationship who chooses to cheat - they are responsible for their actions. But, when you sleep with someone who is partnered you ARE an active party in an action which has a large potential to cause emotional turmoil and distress to someone else. Just because you believe that the person cheating with you would do it anyway, with you or someone else, does not make it moral.

    By sleeping with someone else's partner knowingly, you are actively participating in an action which you know is highly likely to hurt someone badly emotionally, effect their self-confidence and potentially humiliate them. I'd personally say that is far from a moral way to behave. But, regardless of whether or not you believe the act to be moral / immoral, you should at least have the decency to identify this and to acknowledge your actions could do emotional harm to another human being, regardless of whether they are deserving or not.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cat_mac)
    The girl has no commitment to the girlfriend. The girl isn’t cheating on anyone, she hasn’t broken any promises by sleeping with a taken man. It is his choice to put his d*ck in someone else, his broken promise and his fault for cheating. Who he cheated with, how many girls he cheated with, doesn’t matter because the girl(s) aren’t breaking anything. It’s morally wrong but the act of cheating and demise of a relationship isn’t their fault.

    It is a much easier way to deal with being cheated on though, pretending there’s some evil seductress who tainted a loving boyfriend who is so sorry and promised not to do it again (with his fingers crossed behind his back).
    It has nothing to do with whether you made a pact with the girlfriend or signed a contract or whatever. We're talking about who's to blame if your boyfriend is ****ing another girl. To say that the girl has no responsibility for it because you're not in a three-way relationship with him and his gf or that you haven't promised her the world, is plain nonsense that I hardly comprehend. She agreed to be ****ed knowing full well he's committed with someone else.

    I don't see what's there to even discuss.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
    It has nothing to do with whether you made a pact with the girlfriend or signed a contract or whatever. We're talking about who's to blame if your boyfriend is ****ing another girl. To say that the girl has no responsibility for it because you're not in a three-way relationship with him and his gf or that you haven't promised her the world, is plain nonsense that I hardly comprehend. She agreed to be ****ed knowing full well he's committed with someone else.

    I don't see what's there to even discuss.
    I stand by what I said, imo “who’s to blame if your boyfriend is ****ing another girl” is the boyfriend. No one apart from him is responsible for his actions and how they effect his relationships.

    It’s immoral to get involved with someone who’s taken, but if isn’t that person’s fault that the “taken” person is cheating. You’re free to have a different opinion, but I’m standing by mine.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jackwinch)
    Not responsible, no. But party to it, obviously. We're not talking about diminished responsibility for the person within the relationship who chooses to cheat - they are responsible for their actions. But, when you sleep with someone who is partnered you ARE an active party in an action which has a large potential to cause emotional turmoil and distress to someone else. Just because you believe that the person cheating with you would do it anyway, with you or someone else, does not make it moral.

    By sleeping with someone else's partner knowingly, you are actively participating in an action which you know is highly likely to hurt someone badly emotionally, effect their self-confidence and potentially humiliate them. I'd personally say that is far from a moral way to behave. But, regardless of whether or not you believe the act to be moral / immoral, you should at least have the decency to identify this and to acknowledge your actions could do emotional harm to another human being, regardless of whether they are deserving or not.
    I’ve stated a few times that it’s immoral to engage with someone who’s taken, that was never questioned. I just disagree that the “blame” lands on the person the boyfriend cheated with.

    No one forced them to cheat, no one hypnotised them into cheating against their will. The responsibility for cheating is on the shoulders of the person that chose to cheat on their partner, 100%. If you have another opinion that’s fine, but I’m sticking to my guns.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jackwinch)
    Not responsible, no. But party to it, obviously. We're not talking about diminished responsibility for the person within the relationship who chooses to cheat - they are responsible for their actions. But, when you sleep with someone who is partnered you ARE an active party in an action which has a large potential to cause emotional turmoil and distress to someone else. Just because you believe that the person cheating with you would do it anyway, with you or someone else, does not make it moral.

    By sleeping with someone else's partner knowingly, you are actively participating in an action which you know is highly likely to hurt someone badly emotionally, effect their self-confidence and potentially humiliate them. I'd personally say that is far from a moral way to behave. But, regardless of whether or not you believe the act to be moral / immoral, you should at least have the decency to identify this and to acknowledge your actions could do emotional harm to another human being, regardless of whether they are deserving or not.
    Damn right. Of course it involves both parties, the girl the guy is cheating with knows what’s going on and if she had an ounce of decency, wouldn’t continue. It’s pure selfishness to continue a relationship with a taken guy, and clearly it means the guy is a loaf of s***
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I just realised I meant load not loaf 😑
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cat_mac)
    I’ve stated a few times that it’s immoral to engage with someone who’s taken, that was never questioned. I just disagree that the “blame” lands on the person the boyfriend cheated with.

    No one forced them to cheat, no one hypnotised them into cheating against their will. The responsibility for cheating is on the shoulders of the person that chose to cheat on their partner, 100%. If you have another opinion that’s fine, but I’m sticking to my guns.
    I'm not saying that you haven't mentioned it's immoral, nor did I accuse you of saying otherwise. I was merely re-iterating that particular point, so as to ensure that my opinion-based point is perceived as well-balanced if reviewed in isolation to any of my previous posts. You're not under attack from me, I am trying to engage in a discussion with you.

    And actually, if you re-read my comment, you'll see that I totally agree with you on the matter of responsibility for a partnered individual who cheats:'We're not talking about diminished responsibility for the person within the relationship who chooses to cheat - they are responsible for their actions.'

    My comment was expanding on that line of thought, pointing out to the OP that if you are an active party to cheating, you are undertaking an action that you know has a very high potential to hurt somebody badly emotionally (whether this result is your intention or not).
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by getmeoffmyphone)
    Damn right. Of course it involves both parties, the girl the guy is cheating with knows what’s going on and if she had an ounce of decency, wouldn’t continue. It’s pure selfishness to continue a relationship with a taken guy, and clearly it means the guy is a loaf of s***
    I'd agree - sleeping with someone who's partnered is a selfish thing to do and is not fair on the partner being cheated on. Although the person sleeping with the partnered individual is not responsible for the fact that said partnered individual is being unfaithful to their partner, they are an active party to the cheating and are undertaking actions which... well, I guess you know the rest if you've read my other posts, haha.

    (Original post by getmeoffmyphone)
    I just realised I meant load not loaf 😑
    Good effort, haha.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jackwinch)
    Good effort, haha.
    I know xD I posted the first comment and then saw it and posted the second one while laughing so hard I almost typed it wrong again lmao
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I think the ethical onus is on the person in a relationship. Dating is competitive and sex drive strong. This said I hope I'd draw the line at someone married. Do as you would be done by and why make life too complicated kicks in here.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    You lack empathy and/or have questionable morals

    How would you feel if you were cheated on?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 9, 2018
Poll
Do I go to The Streets tomorrow night?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.