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Help me please! How do I feel?!! watch

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    Theres this guy.

    He’s complicated aF but he’s changed recently as a result of me sticking by him/supporting him (as a friend).

    Recently he tried telling me he liked me.. and THIS time it felt sincere (not like I was just any girl he found off the street that he felt was attractive). Ultimately, he couldn’t do it/vocalise how he felt so he showed me a poem he wrote about me instead (he’s written two about me so far as I know of). He invited me over, he held me down and tried tried kissing me, I didn’t respond (he did this whilst being high, as being sober he wouldn’t be able to do so and would expect the female to do all the work, so expressing himself this much was kind of a big deal for him).

    I didn’t respond to the poem as I didn’t know how to. I met with him two days after (yesterday) and he just said ‘so - you don’t feel the same way’ and he turned to me and shed a single tear 😅

    I dunno if I like him back though... or atleast I do... but I don’t know if it’s enough to be more with him? I’ve become guarded with my emotions I guess because a friend I knew, lead me on but decided to get back together with his girlfriend (he’s a nice guy but ..urgh, whatever - is done now) so as a result I’m on top/on guard of my emotions towards guys. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship ANYWAY (I’ve never been in one before so as someone who’s abit of a lone wolf/likes my own company I just don’t know how I’d do it/if I’m ready) but idk... I think I like him, atleast...idk.

    I was/am kind of sad right now ‘cause I wanted to meet with him today but he declined/said he was busy & said tomorrow ......but tomorrow seems SO LOOOONG!! 😅

    This is my dilemma: I have become aware of my emotions and as a result, am on guard/on top of them... but apart of me questions ‘well if I liked him THAT much then surely I’d know/surely my emotions would overtake my control of this barrier I’ve created for myself?’ ... then again, I am quite strong willed. So I don’t know.

    I don’t know... I think I like him 😅 I DONT KNOW - help me please! Plus he’s an international student... I don’t want to let myself fall for someone who could potentially leave me...
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    Well it seems you are second guessing your feelings for him, I think that is a clear sign that you don't like him enough to be with him. If you really feel that you are not ready to be in a relationship, don't be in one just because. Things end bad that way. One of my best friends decided to give her best guy friend a chance because he really, really liked her and she was eh about him. And they only lasted about two months before everything went to crap and he insulted her and made her feel like the worst person ever. Today, she regrets giving him a chance because she ruined her friendship with him and things will never be the same between them, all because she was not into him like he was into her. And that part where you mentioned that he tried to kiss you, that sounds alarming to me. No one should force themselves on anyone. That is not how you "prove" to someone you like them. Focus on yourself and wait until you find someone you actually like and makes you feel good. Hope this helps.
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