I'm a 26 year-old girl. If it's because of something that I'm doing wrong then I can understand, but I don't know if most people are just rubbish at keeping in contact or in this case they just don't really care that much about friendship with me.
I have got about 5 friends who always reply to me online, and start conversations with me etc. so that's great, but unfortunately most of them live abroad.
However, I find it difficult to meet people... I'm doing a year abroad and I've met two friends through an online group. When I see them they are nice, but they will never contact me first to ask to meet up, it's always me. The last time I was supposed to meet them both, they both messaged a couple of hours beforehand saying they were ill and that we'd rearrange, and I haven't heard anything since.
I tried to speak to some old schoolfriends online. They replied, but after 2 messages they stopped replying. I wasn't writing massive essays or just talking about myself etc. I was even talking about going to visit them or doing things for them.
As I mentioned I'm abroad and have previously been abroad for a few years but have not had a single visitor (friends) in 5 years. People say Oh i'll definitely come to see you! But no plans are ever made.. I know things are expensive etc. but then I see them going to other places and to visit people etc.
I think social media plays a large part too in how I feel. On peoples' birthdays I see people posting those collage pictures etc .on their wall with gushy posts, happy birthday to the most amazing friend I could ever ask for etc. etc.. but nobody would even consider doing that for me.
I know some people who just have so many friends; everyone wants to know them and they have hundreds of likes on fb etc.. I don't think that people have reasons to hate me; it's more that they just don't really care and I'm not important/interesting enough.
I know I am ranting but I just wonder what is wrong with me. I know you don't need tons of friends to be happy but I'm sick of having messages ignored or people not contacting me for months unless I do first.
Anyone else feel like this? Thanks
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Is this a sign that people don't really care? watch
- Thread Starter
- 09-03-2018 17:28
- 09-03-2018 18:49
I feel like once you leave school, or you move on with your life, whether it be aboard or to a different university from your childhood friends or people you know, it can be tough to stay in contact with them. I think maybe you should get yourself out there a little more and try meeting other people instead of trying to contact people you knew back in the day. They move on with their lives like you have and well once you're an adult, there really isn't much room for other things, especially if those friends are in relationships or married with kids. I don't think it has anything to do with you personally but in order for people to want to stay in contact is because you guys were very close and there's a bond there. If it was more like acquaintances than there really is no connection there ya know. Its better to leave some people in the past and if they can't even bother to respond back, there is no point in looking for them. Try to meet other people, get into some hobbies and look into clubs.
- Thread Starter
- 09-03-2018 20:53
Thank you for your reply! Yeah, maybe I should just move on. When I do see them (maybe once a year) it's great and we get on so well etc. One of them have a child, but none of the others do or are married, and I've seen from facebook that they have the time to be close to other friends..
It's just that I have a friend, he must literally know more than a hundred people. He has friends in countries all over the world and it just seems like everyone wants to know him. I'm happy for him, and despite his popularity and living far from me, he still finds time to talk to me nearly every day.
I suppose I have to leave these people in the past. I don't know why they even bother coming to meet me since i'm the only one who suggests.. maybe out of boredom .Anyway, I will just have to try and get out there more and meet others
- 09-03-2018 20:58
I will admit to being one of these people that stops contacting friends after we go separate ways, but that in no way means that I don't care about them. I don't know why, but I find it very difficult to keep contact up, and without regular face to face contact, I start to 'lose interest', I am a big introvert and other than work, I rarely leave my house. Despite all I said, while I am friends with someone so care tremendously for them, but I just struggle to keep contact up after leaving