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My girlfriend blames me for everything and is now leaving me... watch

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    We've been together for 2 years, and she is older than me by about 5 years (I am 21). Before me she had a few boyfriends, but I am her longest and as she describes me her first true love. This week she is very withdrawn form me, and has told me she is taking a break and that I am toxic to her.

    The thing is, I am very good to her. I do everything I can. I walk 6 miles just to meet her for coffee, when she is at mine I do absolutely everything I can to make her happy and comfortable. Emotionally I am always there for her and am her biggest supporter. I sat with her morning until night for a week in the hospital when she had an asthma complication. There are so many ways that I would describe myself as being a good boyfriend to her, she even cheated on me and I forgave her for it all.

    She is an incredibly unstable individual, and sees a therapist regularly to try and cope with her emotions. As a very volatile character, there have been many instances where she has made a scene in public, been abusive to me or just generally made a big commotion in our relationship. She is insecure in almost every way, and I feel that she takes it out on me. My personal opinion is that she displaces her insecurities onto me, blaming me if you will. By blaming me, she is therefore avoiding her issues because she thinks that by running away she is escaping them, whereby they are actually attached to her and so will follow her wherever she goes, hence why she has so many failed relationships.

    She doesn't get on with ANY of her family, me and a friend of hers are the only people in her lives. In an effort to try and gain some understanding, I managed to track down a family member of hers today and have been messaging with him. He tells me that she left home all of a sudden at the age of 18 and has never returned or spoken to any of them since. Apparently the family are always thinking about her and her father cries very often out of worry and missing her. Her cousin told me that she was always very volatile and that he agrees with my displacement theory on her, and that she left home for a similar reason, that she was unhappy with herself and so blamed her family and left for a new start.

    Is there any hope for people like this? Is there any way that I can convince her to come home and that everything will be alright?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for 2 years, and she is older than me by about 5 years (I am 21). Before me she had a few boyfriends, but I am her longest and as she describes me her first true love. This week she is very withdrawn form me, and has told me she is taking a break and that I am toxic to her.

    The thing is, I am very good to her. I do everything I can. I walk 6 miles just to meet her for coffee, when she is at mine I do absolutely everything I can to make her happy and comfortable. Emotionally I am always there for her and am her biggest supporter. I sat with her morning until night for a week in the hospital when she had an asthma complication. There are so many ways that I would describe myself as being a good boyfriend to her, she even cheated on me and I forgave her for it all.

    She is an incredibly unstable individual, and sees a therapist regularly to try and cope with her emotions. As a very volatile character, there have been many instances where she has made a scene in public, been abusive to me or just generally made a big commotion in our relationship. She is insecure in almost every way, and I feel that she takes it out on me. My personal opinion is that she displaces her insecurities onto me, blaming me if you will. By blaming me, she is therefore avoiding her issues because she thinks that by running away she is escaping them, whereby they are actually attached to her and so will follow her wherever she goes, hence why she has so many failed relationships.

    She doesn't get on with ANY of her family, me and a friend of hers are the only people in her lives. In an effort to try and gain some understanding, I managed to track down a family member of hers today and have been messaging with him. He tells me that she left home all of a sudden at the age of 18 and has never returned or spoken to any of them since. Apparently the family are always thinking about her and her father cries very often out of worry and missing her. Her cousin told me that she was always very volatile and that he agrees with my displacement theory on her, and that she left home for a similar reason, that she was unhappy with herself and so blamed her family and left for a new start.

    Is there any hope for people like this? Is there any way that I can convince her to come home and that everything will be alright?
    She sounds like my sister, who is a terrible person.

    It'll be difficult but the facts appear that you should leave her completely.
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    This sounds very complicated and I think your theory about her is on point. From what you mentioned you treat her very well, you love her and make sure she is comfortable and you go above and beyond for her and she says you're the toxic one? I think you should leave her. I get you want to help her but you could easily get yourself sucked into her issues. You have to think to yourself, Is it worth your peace of mind to go through all of this? Would you be willing to put up with it for a long time?I know that when you truly care for someone, it can be hard to not help them out but they need to be able to help themselves out too. She seems to not care for herself at all let alone for the ones around her and you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves first and don't see an issue with their behavior. Think about these things and decide what is the best option for you and for her. Hope this helps.
 
 
 
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