The Student Room Group
University of London
London

Have I ruined my life?

Hello everyone,

I am really unsure about my future after having been excluded from University for my poor attendance. In all honesty I didn’t think it would get so bad! So a bit of context, I’ve been effing about pretty much my whole life. I started sixth form in 2014 I think and I got kicked out of that too because I was lazy. I tried again the next year, I went to a less academically demanding sixth form and everything was ok. I ended up doing quite well and getting an offer to study at Oxford University. That was pretty cool but I got lazy again and didn’t study or attend for basically all of year 13. So I missed out on oxford by one grade. I didn’t really mind lol because I never thought I deserved it. So I went to the next best uni- a really good uni. But now I’ve been kicked out lmao. Another year wasted and I don’t know which uni would be willing to take someone like me! I feel like maybe I’ve finally grown up and I can actually be a student, or maybe that will happen soon.
What are my options? Anybody been through a similar situation (doubt it lols)?
bruh
University of London
London
Original post by Pew-die-pie.
bruh


Got any advice for me breh? I’m feeling very sad I might become a NEET.
Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh
Got any advice for me breh? I’m feeling very sad I might become a NEET.


How far did you get with your degree? Was it the wrong subject or wrong uni?
Original post by Muttley79
How far did you get with your degree? Was it the wrong subject or wrong uni?


I started this year and was kicked out 6 months later!
Wrong subject (wasn’t feeling it) and uni (location).
Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh
I started this year and was kicked out 6 months later!
Wrong subject (wasn’t feeling it) and uni (location).


OK - so you can still get student finance for your full course. What about working for six months and applying through clearing?
If you are telling us that by being lazy you end up with an offer at Oxford and just missed out by a grade. Think of what you can do when you get your head in gear and actually work
Original post by Muttley79
OK - so you can still get student finance for your full course. What about working for six months and applying through clearing?


Um yeah, that would be ideal. Do you have any tips for the procedure? Would I be able to apply early seeing as I already have my grades?

Original post by Lord Nutter
If you are telling us that by being lazy you end up with an offer at Oxford and just missed out by a grade. Think of what you can do when you get your head in gear and actually work


Lol thanks for the encouragement, I’m all over the place atm.
Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh
Um yeah, that would be ideal. Do you have any tips for the procedure? Would I be able to apply early seeing as I already have my grades?


Are you sure you really know what you want to do? I suggested waiting a few months so you are sure of what you want to study this time.
Tell you what to do. Browse between this, facebook, tinder, twitter and maybe some porn till bedtime / next year when you are (if you're not already) working in Tescos/Starbucks/McDonalds/etc. / probably living with your parents. Keep relying on your intelligence rather than your grit (which actually exists when you set your mind to something) and follow your 'heart,' maybe taking a creative writing degree because you believe you've really got a story to tell. Then, take yet another temp office job as a means to an end, get your stoner girlfriend pregnant and stay there till you're ready to retire, reaching the position of Assistant Manager by the time you're 35. Nothing wrong with all that. Not like your parents are worth more.

Don't buckle down, realise that you have to make a stand somewhere and that gaming and Netflix won't save you. Don't take a coveted degree like medicine, law, accounting, maths, economic, computer science etc., from an RG university that >99.9% of the world's population would give six toes to have, but will only cost you 3 years spent studying, and having fun. That would be hard to do and not worthy of your wild bro reputation. So you know

have fun.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Muttley79
Are you sure you really know what you want to do? I suggested waiting a few months so you are sure of what you want to study this time.


Yeah, I'm going to have a think about it rn. Thanks a lot!

Original post by shkennedy
Tell you what to do. Browse between this, facebook, tinder, twitter and maybe some porn till bedtime / next year when you are (if you're not already) working in Tescos/Starbucks/McDonalds/etc. / probably living with your parents. Keep relying on your intelligence rather than your grit (which actually exists when you set your mind to something) and follow your 'heart,' maybe taking a creative writing degree because you believe you've really got a story to tell. Then, take yet another temp office job as a means to an end, get your stoner girlfriend pregnant and stay there till you're ready to retire, reaching the position of Assistant Manager by the time you're 35. Nothing wrong with all that. Not like your parents are worth more.

Don't buckle down, realise that you have to make a stand somewhere and that gaming and Netflix won't save you. Don't take a coveted degree like medicine, law, accounting, maths, economic, computer science etc., from an RG university that >99.9% of the world's population would give six toes to have, but will only cost you 3 years spent studying, and having fun. That would be hard to do and not worthy of your wild bro reputation. So you know

have fun.


Hey, no need for the hard hitter. I got the message. I'm very disappointed too. I don't like who I've become or how I make my parents feel. Thank you for the chuckle though!
Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh
Yeah, I'm going to have a think about it rn. Thanks a lot!



Hey, no need for the hard hitter. I got the message. I'm very disappointed too. I don't like who I've become or how I make my parents feel. Thank you for the chuckle though!


Honestly, don't take it hard. You can't change the past so guilt is worthless. Just take the lesson.

I'm speaking directly through experience so I'm obviously biased here and probably half talking to myself. I know you'll find your way so chin up. Good luck to you.
Original post by shkennedy
Honestly, don't take it hard. You can't change the past so guilt is worthless. Just take the lesson.

I'm speaking directly through experience so I'm obviously biased here and probably half talking to myself. I know you'll find your way so chin up. Good luck to you.


I suspected as much, but hey! Life does that sometimes.
AND THANK YOU!!! You seem to have quite the story to tell.
Bit late to the party here, but here are my 2 cents...

You're obviously intelligent. That's one hurdle you won't have to face when you're thinking about education. Appreciate that. Don't take it for granted.

Have you ever been assessed for anything like ADHD? Asking because I have personal experience with this (and framing my Masters and hopefully PhD on its impact). Your experience sounds very similar but there are ways around it. I'm not talking medication or even official diagnosis but CBT/ADHD targeted strategies may be a good place to start to get yourself back on an even keel.
Original post by Lord Nutter
If you are telling us that by being lazy you end up with an offer at Oxford and just missed out by a grade. Think of what you can do when you get your head in gear and actually work


I have a mate who used to turn up for 1 lesson a week per subject and got straight As in A levels (2009 so before A* was highest grade). She ended up in a russel group uni and works as an accountant for a FTSE 100 company.

Her secret: parents paid for tuition, learnt more from a private tutor than from attending Sixth form and didnt need to go to sixth form (also helps having people signing you in + teachers not caring about students therefore your grades dont get capped /sixth form doesnt bar you)
no sympathy for people like you, there are people out there who work so hard to get an offer from oxford and here you are just not appreciating the opportunities you’ve got and messing about, pick yourself up and get to work.
Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh
Hello everyone,

I am really unsure about my future after having been excluded from University for my poor attendance. In all honesty I didn’t think it would get so bad! So a bit of context, I’ve been effing about pretty much my whole life. I started sixth form in 2014 I think and I got kicked out of that too because I was lazy. I tried again the next year, I went to a less academically demanding sixth form and everything was ok. I ended up doing quite well and getting an offer to study at Oxford University. That was pretty cool but I got lazy again and didn’t study or attend for basically all of year 13. So I missed out on oxford by one grade. I didn’t really mind lol because I never thought I deserved it. So I went to the next best uni- a really good uni. But now I’ve been kicked out lmao. Another year wasted and I don’t know which uni would be willing to take someone like me! I feel like maybe I’ve finally grown up and I can actually be a student, or maybe that will happen soon.
What are my options? Anybody been through a similar situation (doubt it lols)?



You appear to be drifting. I suggest a time out so you can find some direction. If you make a mistake next time, then there probably wont be another time, so it is important to get it bright.


You seem to have a lot of potential, just not the desire or determination to utilise it.


Take a gap. the ADHD assessment seems a god idea, although I believe they are expensive, so maybe just learn some more about it.

Hopefully your parents have stood by you? A year or two seeing what the difference is in a job and looking into different careers or volunteering might help you get some perspective. You can still make a go of it.

1. Right careers that you will enjoy.
2. Right uni (although that doesnt seem to be your problem.).
3. Right degree.

Imo I dont think you will have a problem getting into another uni as long as your explanation is viable. For funding reasons it is important you sort out 1-3.
Maybe some volunteering, travelling, work will do you good and help you understand what you wish to do?

Dont waste your obvious potential.



I seem to have stopped mid reply.... I was going to suggest some books I think.

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