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How to be the perfect gay guy watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Could wear a shirt saying you're gay?

    All you can really do is get to know someone and tell them that you're gay if you trust and like them

    But then you'd have to find out if they're gay so it's hard..

    Not too sure what looks in the street I would get for wearing that!
    It is a tough road, I'm not gonna lie. Part of the reason why I would rather avoid being friends with straight guys, as there are more possible opportunities when around other gay guys.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, what would you suggest as a good idea? I am guessing that you are gay judging on that post.
    I am. I met my BF through an MMO, funnily enough.

    I think the other posters have already struck on what are valid approaches.

    Unless you actually like being camp and are drawn to other camp guys, it's going to simply come across as fake and grow wearisome. Online dating sites are not a bad idea. But if you are into the camp scene, it'll make it easier I guess to identify your target audience...
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    (Original post by _Fergo)
    My perfect guy is funny but measured - doesn't go too far to make me laugh, but it comes out naturally.

    He's playful but also respectful - I love being touchy and whatnot and the other person appreciating my presence, but with limits - i.e understanding limits and the need to not always be physical.

    He listens and understands, and is also willing to be open with me and trust me with his thoughts.

    Be kind to others and willing to meet new people.

    Be willing to explore things he's never done before.

    Tbh many more things could be said. 'Perfect' is a very, very high standard to aim for. Just be yourself and try to find out what the other guy is interested in - it's all contextual in the end.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thanks for your advice. It does give me some perspective.

    I still do want to be perfect because ultimately, what's better than being perfect? I want to be as attractive as possible, and for someone to love me. No one will love the current me, hence why I want to reinvent myself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not got friends, so launching into the gay community is probably a good idea. I wish that I could go to Pride without my parents knowing. Hopefully one day soon.

    I agree that being out must be a really nice feeling, but I want to be the best that I can be, and if that means changing myself a bit, then I might have to. I can't picture anyone loving the person that I am today.
    Maybe try working from a different angle, on self improvement rather than changing who you are. I can 100% relate to how you’re feeling, when you don’t like yourself it’s natural to assume others wont. But parts of me that I hate are parts of me that people love. What I use to see as weaknesses are now strengths, things that I reflect on and think were cringe and awkward others find cute and endearing!

    Once you make peace with yourself and accept yourself, confidence can build. Being the best you can be involves doing what you enjoy and what makes you happy, and I promise that people will like you for who you are. I know you won’t believe me yet but I hope you do soon! Most people in the gay community struggle with these feelings and we use those feelings of being “wrong” to say actually, I’m not wrong, who I am is unique and different and that’s f*cking amazing. People are so accepting and who you are is more than good enough.
    :party:
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    (Original post by TCA2b)
    I am. I met my BF through an MMO, funnily enough.

    I think the other posters have already struck on what are valid approaches.

    Unless you actually like being camp and are drawn to other camp guys, it's going to simply come across as fake and grow wearisome. Online dating sites are not a bad idea. But if you are into the camp scene, it'll make it easier I guess to identify your target audience...
    I'm not overly camp, but a bit more feminine. It's just so that I don't look straight at all, as that might make people not identify me as gay, not to mention that it might make coming out smoother.
    Are camp gays drawn to each other, whilst masculine gays are drawn to each other?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not overly camp, but a bit more feminine. It's just so that I don't look straight at all, as that might make people not identify me as gay, not to mention that it might make coming out smoother.
    Are camp gays drawn to each other, whilst masculine gays are drawn to each other?
    In my experience, yes, but as always there are exceptions.

    My point is don't put on airs if it's not you, if you are looking for a long term mate.
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    I think it varies, I know lots of camp and masculine guys who are into the opposite
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    Funnily enough, I'm not really into camp or masculine.
    I'm personally quite intimidated by masculine guys and try to avoid them, hence why I would be unlikely to date one.
    Camp guys who are OTT and have the camp voice do get on my nerve a bit, and I probably wouldn't date one, but they usually make fun friends!

    I imagine that there is much more to the gay community than this masculine/camp divide.
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    I'm neither camp or masculine but I'm single 😉
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Funnily enough, I'm not really into camp or masculine.
    I'm personally quite intimidated by masculine guys and try to avoid them, hence why I would be unlikely to date one.
    Camp guys who are OTT and have the camp voice do get on my nerve a bit, and I probably wouldn't date one, but they usually make fun friends!

    I imagine that there is much more to the gay community than this masculine/camp divide.
    That's not exactly a controversial statement... by masculine I just mean a regular guy. Not OTT butch.
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    (Original post by TCA2b)
    That's not exactly a controversial statement... by masculine I just mean a regular guy. Not OTT butch.
    OK - I understand where you are coming from. I'm fine with that sort of "masculine" guy, but not the overly blokeish types, although most of them are straight anyway.
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    Rofl

    Are you that Scottish guy that wants to lose his accent?
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    (Original post by TCA2b)
    Rofl

    Are you that Scottish guy that wants to lose his accent?
    I went on anon for this thread, but yes I am.

    In hindsight, feel that I took things to the extreme on that thread last week, however I do still wish to lose the accent as I don't like how my voice sounds. My struggles with identity and self-acceptance have led me to take things a bit too far as I feel stuck in my own head.
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    I like your honesty
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I like your honesty
    Thanks!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am getting a bit obsessed with how to become the best gay guy, as I feel that the odds are stacked against me in the dating world.
    You're definitely not alone in this.
    I think I'm a slightly "against the grain" sort of gay man. I'm not terribly interested in hook-up culture, clubbing and in the small-ish town I live in, I have a pretty good reputation as just being a nice guy to date...

    However this has kind of led to a couple of people getting into relationships with me out of a desire to be different, at least one later admitted to that. They view me as a "settle down" sort of guy: once they've had their fun, to be euphemistic, then someone who exists outside of that community seems quite appealing. Often time though they haven't finished that phase of their lives or indeed, might never.

    I don't mean any of this to brag and I'm sorry if it comes across that way, but what I'm really getting at is that it's actually a little hurtful to be fetishised in that way. For potential boyfriends to think that it's fair play for me to have to deal with the fact that they have, for example, slept with friends of mine, when a significant part of the reason that they're attracted to me is precisely because that isn't true in reverse.
 
 
 
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