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Being the less intelligent one in my relationship watch

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    Honestly I never thought this would bother me as much as it does. I would say I’m moderately Intelligent but like I’m really lazy and don’t like doing work outside of school. My boyfriend is highly intelligent and has got many unconditional offers from top uni’s as well as an oxford offer. I always feel in his shadow and it feels like my family favour his opinion over mine, and he says things in front of people that make me look like I’m an idiot.

    I think it’s affecting my performance at school now because I have no motivation to do any work because it will never be as good as him. Like I don’t even want to revise for my a-levels in a few months.

    I’m not sure what to do, or if I should say something? I don’t want this to continue into university so what should I do ?
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    Why do you have to be as good as him though (assuming that you really aren't undermining yourself)?

    I mean as long as you can understand each other on an intellectual level I don't see how your grades matter.
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    But do you love each other - that's the real question.

    If yes then why do you care so much - there shouldn't be a need to compete with him.
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    (Original post by johnny.snow)
    Why do you have to be as good as him though (assuming that you really aren't undermining yourself)?

    I mean as long as you can understand each other on an intellectual level I don't see how your grades matter.
    It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me
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    Relationships aren't about competing among each other they're about supporting each other. God.

    As long as the intelligence gap isn't to the extent that there are communication difficulties it shouldn't be an issue.
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    (Original post by lucyborg)
    It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me
    Tell him its bothering you, and maybe he will stop making intellectual comments
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    I will talk to him, I really want to stop feeling like this though, is there anything I can actively do ? Or just forget about it and move on
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    Hmm, that kind of sucks. I wonder how he feels about it.
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    (Original post by lucyborg)
    It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me
    Ah if he belittles you then that's a problem. You need to talk to him.
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    (Original post by lucyborg)
    It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me
    I don't think he has any ill intentions by it. As long as he's not looking down on you about it and is there to support you then it should be fine. Do you perhaps feel he's not doing his part to encourage you to try harder? That's something you could try and work out together.
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    (Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh)
    Hmm, that kind of sucks. I wonder how he feels about it.
    Yeah I don’t know really we don’t talk about it
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    (Original post by johnny.snow)
    Ah if he belittles you then that's a problem. You need to talk to him.
    Will do, thank you 😌
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    (Original post by UWS)
    I don't think he has any ill intentions by it. As long as he's not looking down on you about it and is there to support you then it should be fine. Do you perhaps feel he's not doing his part to encourage you to try harder? That's something you could try and work out together.
    Yeah I guess i never really looked at it that way, but yeah i will try
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    Hey. That's a complicated situation you've got and I'm no expert, but I think you should tell him how you feel. Maybe he will be a bit more sensitive about what he says around your family and the way he addresses you in public. If he's as smart as you say, this shouldn't be too hard.
    I know A-levels are a very stressful time cuz they're a lot of pressure for a young person. But please please please try to prioritise getting good grades as this will open more doors for uni and in your future career.
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    You've given yourself the answer to your own question in your post - you're lazy. Some people are naturally more intelligent than others but I think the issue here is your attitude. If you had a better attitude to your schoolwork and stopped being so lazy, you'd work harder and get better grades and wouldn't feel so stupid compared to your boyfriend. Simple.
 
 
 
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