Honestly I never thought this would bother me as much as it does. I would say I’m moderately Intelligent but like I’m really lazy and don’t like doing work outside of school. My boyfriend is highly intelligent and has got many unconditional offers from top uni’s as well as an oxford offer. I always feel in his shadow and it feels like my family favour his opinion over mine, and he says things in front of people that make me look like I’m an idiot.
I think it’s affecting my performance at school now because I have no motivation to do any work because it will never be as good as him. Like I don’t even want to revise for my a-levels in a few months.
I’m not sure what to do, or if I should say something? I don’t want this to continue into university so what should I do ?
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lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 21:45
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johnny.snow
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- 09-03-2018 21:48
Why do you have to be as good as him though (assuming that you really aren't undermining yourself)?
I mean as long as you can understand each other on an intellectual level I don't see how your grades matter. -
Lord Nutter
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- 09-03-2018 21:51
But do you love each other - that's the real question.
If yes then why do you care so much - there shouldn't be a need to compete with him. -
lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 21:52
(Original post by johnny.snow)
Why do you have to be as good as him though (assuming that you really aren't undermining yourself)?
I mean as long as you can understand each other on an intellectual level I don't see how your grades matter.Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
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- 09-03-2018 21:53
Relationships aren't about competing among each other they're about supporting each other. God.
As long as the intelligence gap isn't to the extent that there are communication difficulties it shouldn't be an issue. -
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- 09-03-2018 21:54
(Original post by lucyborg)
It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me -
lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 21:57
I will talk to him, I really want to stop feeling like this though, is there anything I can actively do ? Or just forget about it and move on
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Imanidiotpleaseh
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- 09-03-2018 22:00
Hmm, that kind of sucks. I wonder how he feels about it.
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johnny.snow
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- 09-03-2018 22:01
(Original post by lucyborg)
It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me -
UWS
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- 09-03-2018 22:02
(Original post by lucyborg)
It just really bothers me for some reason, Especially when he shows it off in front of other people, I don’t know if he means to but it really bothers me -
lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 22:03
(Original post by Imanidiotpleaseh)
Hmm, that kind of sucks. I wonder how he feels about it.Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 22:03
(Original post by johnny.snow)
Ah if he belittles you then that's a problem. You need to talk to him.Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
lucyborg
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- 09-03-2018 22:05
(Original post by UWS)
I don't think he has any ill intentions by it. As long as he's not looking down on you about it and is there to support you then it should be fine. Do you perhaps feel he's not doing his part to encourage you to try harder? That's something you could try and work out together.Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play -
marcobruni98
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- 09-03-2018 22:07
Hey. That's a complicated situation you've got and I'm no expert, but I think you should tell him how you feel. Maybe he will be a bit more sensitive about what he says around your family and the way he addresses you in public. If he's as smart as you say, this shouldn't be too hard.
I know A-levels are a very stressful time cuz they're a lot of pressure for a young person. But please please please try to prioritise getting good grades as this will open more doors for uni and in your future career. -
bones-mccoy
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- 12-03-2018 15:05
You've given yourself the answer to your own question in your post - you're lazy. Some people are naturally more intelligent than others but I think the issue here is your attitude. If you had a better attitude to your schoolwork and stopped being so lazy, you'd work harder and get better grades and wouldn't feel so stupid compared to your boyfriend. Simple.
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Updated: March 12, 2018
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