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Having to masturbate after you thought you were getting sex... watch

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    Is this one of the worst feelings ever or what? Can't stand it Alas, this is how my night has ended.

    The FWB invited me to bowling this evening with her friends and their BFs. I did some lifts because I don't drink, so I picked up her, two of her mates and one of her mate's BFs. The guy sat in the front because he's tall and there's not much leg-room in the back of my car. My phone keeps going off with texts as I'm driving, and as I pull up and everyone starts to get out I check my phone. All texts from the FWB, all dirty AF stating what she wants to do to me/me do to her when we go back to hers later. Sounds like a good night

    The night went pretty well. I got chatting to the lads and one of them is really into snooker, so I took his number and we agreed to go for a few games soon. Next thing I know, one of the FWB's mates is telling me that she's in the toilets chucking her guts up. One too many Jacques, apparently. Great. Got everyone in the car, gave her a bin back to puke into, which she used all the way home. Sex is definitely off the cards. Her mate is now staying with her to look after her, so at least that's one result.

    Grabbed a Subway on the way home, munched that and then took my frustrations out on Vic Alouqua of Pornhub. Just thought as well, didn't wash my hands after eating my Sub. My knob probably reeks of Subway, now. *sigh*
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    That. Sounds. Rough
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    He got a subway peepee
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    (Original post by Sadflower)
    That. Sounds. Rough
    This is the third occasion on which sexytime has been cancelled due to her over-drinking. Starting to become a problem tbh. She ruined a potential (as in, it was definitely going to ****ing happen until she ruined it) threesome last time
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    Is her mate single?
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    Wow what a *****!
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    I'm not ashamed to say that I love these posts.

    Even though I feel like a dirty stalker reading them

    Keep them coming (or don't, for your sake)
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    Is this one of the worst feelings ever or what? Can't stand it Alas, this is how my night has ended.

    The FWB invited me to bowling this evening with her friends and their BFs. I did some lifts because I don't drink, so I picked up her, two of her mates and one of her mate's BFs. The guy sat in the front because he's tall and there's not much leg-room in the back of my car. My phone keeps going off with texts as I'm driving, and as I pull up and everyone starts to get out I check my phone. All texts from the FWB, all dirty AF stating what she wants to do to me/me do to her when we go back to hers later. Sounds like a good night

    The night went pretty well. I got chatting to the lads and one of them is really into snooker, so I took his number and we agreed to go for a few games soon. Next thing I know, one of the FWB's mates is telling me that she's in the toilets chucking her guts up. One too many Jacques, apparently. Great. Got everyone in the car, gave her a bin back to puke into, which she used all the way home. Sex is definitely off the cards. Her mate is now staying with her to look after her, so at least that's one result.

    Grabbed a Subway on the way home, munched that and then took my frustrations out on Vic Alouqua of Pornhub. Just thought as well, didn't wash my hands after eating my Sub. My knob probably reeks of Subway, now. *sigh*
    It's always good fun reading about your antics, Woody.
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    (Original post by showaeski)
    Is her mate single?
    Nope! All taken, all their fellas were with them. The one that's looking after my FWB, her BF apparently has to get up really early for work so he left early, so looks like I gave her a bit of company in passing the FWB onto her. Win-win

    (Original post by JohanGRK)
    I'm not ashamed to say that I love these posts.

    Even though I feel like a dirty stalker reading them

    Keep them coming (or don't, for your sake)
    (Original post by IWMTom)
    It's always good fun reading about your antics, Woody.
    You guise I know for a fact that there are several people here who hate me and my posts and have blocked me over them... but Woody = not even bothered Some people get a laugh out of them and I love seeing peoples' reactions, positive or negative.
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    you are soooooo obsessed with sex
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    (Original post by Jheinexx)
    you are soooooo obsessed with sex
    I'm definitely not.

    What you up to tonight sweet cheeks, where you live?
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    I'm definitely not.

    What you up to tonight sweet cheeks, where you live?
    You definitely are.
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    (Original post by Jheinexx)
    You definitely are.
    You didn't answer my question
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    You didn't answer my question
    why would i tell you where i live
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    (Original post by Jheinexx)
    why would i tell you where i live
    4 sex
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    4 sex
    Ahhh nice joke 👍🏽
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    (Original post by Jheinexx)
    Ahhh nice joke 👍🏽
    Don't tell me you only just got it after 5 posts :rofl:
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    Don't tell me you only just got it after 5 posts :rofl:
    No, i got it before. But you agree right? You’re very obsessed
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    Is this one of the worst feelings ever or what? Can't stand it Alas, this is how my night has ended.

    The FWB invited me to bowling this evening with her friends and their BFs. I did some lifts because I don't drink, so I picked up her, two of her mates and one of her mate's BFs. The guy sat in the front because he's tall and there's not much leg-room in the back of my car. My phone keeps going off with texts as I'm driving, and as I pull up and everyone starts to get out I check my phone. All texts from the FWB, all dirty AF stating what she wants to do to me/me do to her when we go back to hers later. Sounds like a good night

    The night went pretty well. I got chatting to the lads and one of them is really into snooker, so I took his number and we agreed to go for a few games soon. Next thing I know, one of the FWB's mates is telling me that she's in the toilets chucking her guts up. One too many Jacques, apparently. Great. Got everyone in the car, gave her a bin back to puke into, which she used all the way home. Sex is definitely off the cards. Her mate is now staying with her to look after her, so at least that's one result.

    Grabbed a Subway on the way home, munched that and then took my frustrations out on Vic Alouqua of Pornhub. Just thought as well, didn't wash my hands after eating my Sub. My knob probably reeks of Subway, now. *sigh*
    whats your routine bro? i've just gone from 6 day push/pull split to full body high intensity/volume variation 4 days week.
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    Ik that feel
 
 
 
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