I think a lot of people think I'm boring/unfriendly.
My sense of humour is very dry and I have quite a monotonous voice.
I'm not very expressive, I never sound excited, I don't squeal or go high pitched. Actually that's a lie, sometimes around bubbly girls I find myself trying to be on their level but I feel really fake making my voice higher. I just don't want them to misinterpret my words/behaviour and think I don't want to be there.
I love new people but I don't show it, I don't go in for hugs or show my enthusiasm enough. Even if I am excited and interested in them.
The most excitement you'll get from me is a big smile or an 'oh my god'. I really struggle to squeal with excitement and show I'm happy for someone.
I also struggle with kids and babies because I don't like how you're expected to do a baby voice. I can't bring myself to do that.
Obviously I laugh and smile. But I'm just not a fun bubbly person like a lot of my friends are. They're really good at bringing up a mood and making people feel welcome.
I've had two boyfriends and things were fine but I definitely was not affectionate enough with them. And I don't think I was the "cute, loveable, slightly needy, bubbly gf". I actually felt like they showed more of those qualities than me which luckily balanced things out.
If any of you watch brooklyn nine nine, my ex said I was just like Captain Holt. The character is very robotic, with no emotion, cold, dry, not particularly friendly.
Anyway both of these relationships only lasted about 9 months. I'm wondering if I was too boring for them and not excitable enough. I shouldn't really change who I am but I'm willing to make more of an effort to make people feel more comfortable around me. I think maybe I'm just socially/emotionally stunted. I was quite quiet and socially awkward when I was younger.