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Would you date a girl that isn't bubbly?

I think a lot of people think I'm boring/unfriendly.

My sense of humour is very dry and I have quite a monotonous voice.
I'm not very expressive, I never sound excited, I don't squeal or go high pitched. Actually that's a lie, sometimes around bubbly girls I find myself trying to be on their level but I feel really fake making my voice higher. I just don't want them to misinterpret my words/behaviour and think I don't want to be there.

I love new people but I don't show it, I don't go in for hugs or show my enthusiasm enough. Even if I am excited and interested in them.
The most excitement you'll get from me is a big smile or an 'oh my god'. I really struggle to squeal with excitement and show I'm happy for someone.
I also struggle with kids and babies because I don't like how you're expected to do a baby voice. I can't bring myself to do that.

Obviously I laugh and smile. But I'm just not a fun bubbly person like a lot of my friends are. They're really good at bringing up a mood and making people feel welcome.

I've had two boyfriends and things were fine but I definitely was not affectionate enough with them. And I don't think I was the "cute, loveable, slightly needy, bubbly gf". I actually felt like they showed more of those qualities than me which luckily balanced things out.

If any of you watch brooklyn nine nine, my ex said I was just like Captain Holt. The character is very robotic, with no emotion, cold, dry, not particularly friendly.

Anyway both of these relationships only lasted about 9 months. I'm wondering if I was too boring for them and not excitable enough. I shouldn't really change who I am but I'm willing to make more of an effort to make people feel more comfortable around me. I think maybe I'm just socially/emotionally stunted. I was quite quiet and socially awkward when I was younger.

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Original post by Anonymous
I think a lot of people think I'm boring/unfriendly.

My sense of humour is very dry and I have quite a monotonous voice.
I'm not very expressive, I never sound excited, I don't squeal or go high pitched. Actually that's a lie, sometimes around bubbly girls I find myself trying to be on their level but I feel really fake making my voice higher. I just don't want them to misinterpret my words/behaviour and think I don't want to be there.

I love new people but I don't show it, I don't go in for hugs or show my enthusiasm enough. Even if I am excited and interested in them.
The most excitement you'll get from me is a big smile or an 'oh my god'. I really struggle to squeal with excitement and show I'm happy for someone.
I also struggle with kids and babies because I don't like how you're expected to do a baby voice. I can't bring myself to do that.

Obviously I laugh and smile. But I'm just not a fun bubbly person like a lot of my friends are. They're really good at bringing up a mood and making people feel welcome.

I've had two boyfriends and things were fine but I definitely was not affectionate enough with them. And I don't think I was the "cute, loveable, slightly needy, bubbly gf". I actually felt like they showed more of those qualities than me which luckily balanced things out.

If any of you watch brooklyn nine nine, my ex said I was just like Captain Holt. The character is very robotic, with no emotion, cold, dry, not particularly friendly.

Anyway both of these relationships only lasted about 9 months. I'm wondering if I was too boring for them and not excitable enough. I shouldn't really change who I am but I'm willing to make more of an effort to make people feel more comfortable around me. I think maybe I'm just socially/emotionally stunted. I was quite quiet and socially awkward when I was younger.


Literally everything you’ve said has hit a nerve with me! I’m an 18 year old guy and if someone was as you’ve described, I would date definitely because we’d be so similar
Reply 2
I prefer my women to be cnsumed by the darkness, so bubbly is not a priority at all. It'd piss me off very quickly.
Carbonated females only pls

Spoiler

Yes, as long as you can hold a conversation and are not intellectually challenged.
Reply 5
Original post by Retired_Messiah
Carbonated females only pls

Spoiler




Yeah but they both ended for no real reason. So made me think they just got bored of me. I feel like at the start they liked me for my looks and because I wasn't that friendly/affectionate they thought of it as a chase. But then as we actually started dating, they probably realised they wanted someone a bit more extroverted, bubbly and affectionate instead.
It really depends on the guy, some guys like girls "bubbly" and other don't, maybe go for guys who have similar interests to you and understand you.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah but they both ended for no real reason. So made me think they just got bored of me. I feel like at the start they liked me for my looks and because I wasn't that friendly/affectionate they thought of it as a chase. But then as we actually started dating, they probably realised they wanted someone a bit more extroverted, bubbly and affectionate instead.


You don't really have anything to support this theory besides your own insecurity though. By the description alone I don't think I'd have a problem going for somebody like you provided I at least found their sense of humour good.
Nope.
Reply 9
Original post by Retired_Messiah
You don't really have anything to support this theory besides your own insecurity though. By the description alone I don't think I'd have a problem going for somebody like you provided I at least found their sense of humour good.


I was just wondering if it's less ideal basically. And if that's what I need to work on.
Original post by Jheinexx
Nope.


lmao why are girls so b*tchy
Original post by Anonymous
I was just wondering if it's less ideal basically. And if that's what I need to work on.


You can't exactly 'work on' a complete personality shift that easily. Whether it's "less ideal" depends on the particular guy in question. There's no catch all answer in that regard.
Original post by Anonymous
lmao why are girls so b*tchy


How am I being b*tchy? Dating someone with a dry sense of humour is horrible
so long as you are friendly to me

I can be a bit of a misanthrope myself
I thought "bubbly" was code-word for fat?
To a lot of people, bubbly is used as a polite way of saying fat.


Not saying you are, but self-identifying that way gives a pre-conceived notion that some might find off-putting.
Original post by Sabertooth
I thought "bubbly" was code-word for fat?


Loud and overweight in combination, usually.
Original post by Sabertooth
I thought "bubbly" was code-word for fat?


That too. I just couldn't think of a better word
Original post by Anonymous
That too. I just couldn't think of a better word


So you're asking whether guys would date a girl who isn't obnoxiously loud and also overweight.

Hmm, that's a toughie. :beard:
Original post by Sabertooth
So you're asking whether guys would date a girl who isn't obnoxiously loud and also overweight.

Hmm, that's a toughie. :beard:


I didn't mean bubbly as in obnoxiously loud. I just meant vivacious, extroverted, warm, friendly, cheerful. The kind of person to immediately lift your spirits and make you feel comfortable.
Forget the weight thing.

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