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I'm 15 and straight but still confused watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I have just turned 15 years old and I'm seriously worried and confused, for 1 year. I am straight and have been for the rest of my life, but I weirdly get turned on by men. Now I'm doubting my sexuality. The doubt started in December 2016/January 2017 when I was in 8th Grade and wanted to learn how to write with both hands. I've always wanted to be left handed so I tried to write left handed. Then I learnt that people who can do this, also end up bisexual. It freaked me out and as I did not want to be bisexual, I stopped but I started to doubt myself even up till now. I get turned on by women but not all the time. I masturbate to lesbian porn (granny and mature porn turn me on the most) and I get a very good orgasm and I also masturbate the straight porn. However, when I try to fantasies about a woman, I don't get turned on easily sometimes It feels as if I want to get turned on, but I don't. There are times I get turned on easily and masturbate, with good pleasure. When I see a girls bum, I get turned on a bit sometimes and then I fantasies about ffing her, but if I see a shirtless man, I get turned on easily. I have naval festish with men and I get turned on when a man has an innie naval and when I'm a little bit/fully exposed to their belly. I have discovered this since I was a child. I used to fantasize about passionately belly rubbing a man, and that is about the only fantasies I have had about men. Sometimes the fantazies used to be more than that. I have never crushed on a male before, but in school there was this boy I really wanted to be like and tried to act like him. My mind tried to make me think that I liked him, and I had unwanted fantasies but I didn't like him and it was mostly just curiosity. I see him I school and everything is normal, althought i cant believe what happened. I have never crushed on my male friend and then once I thought I did but I didnt (halleluyah). There was this actor that is the same age as me on TV. I thought he was very handsome (which is normal because you same-sex can attractive) but my mind wouldn't think of him, but when I saw him again, my mind started thinking about him, a little bit sexually which I did not like because I am straight and I like girls. This stopped but only today it has continued and I couldnt stop thinking about him and I got these unwanted sexual fantasies (that don't really turn me on) because I was exposed to his belly on TV. I had this warm feeling which has stopped even as I'm writing now. This only recently has started to happen to me with a few boys that I have known since I was 10. With girls I feel comfortable around some girls as if I like them and I want to be with them. I was watching Bad Girls Club and I couldnt stop thinking about Nikki, Erica, Kristen, Christina, Amy and Bri. My hearr would pound everytime I saw Nikki and sometimes I would get turned on by the sexual scenes. Even though I didnt have much sexual fantasies, I couldnt stop thinking about them. I have always liked girls and have had girlfriends. I feel very emotionally attracted to girls. I met this girl and I fell in love with her. I connected so much with her and my heart beat fast each time we talked. I had this warm and effectionate feeling. We went out for a little while, but she moved back to Japan. I liked this girl when I was 11, and I used to annoy her a lot, I kissed her on the cheek once and always tried to hold her hand. I asked her out soo many times but she rejected me. I also liked this girl when I started high school and I would always purposely do something in front of her or cause arguments to get her attention. I wouldn't stop staring at her and tried to chat her up so much times. I still have some affection for her. I recently liked this girl and asked her out, but she rejected me and I still feel some affection towards her too. I have a close female friend. I gradually started to like her and when I wanted to tell her how I feel, she likes someone else. It hurt me a lot and I would fantasize about f*****g her and losing my virginity with her and other girls. Even though I don't like her, I got jealous when I heard she liked someone else. Recently there is this girl I am kind of eyeing. Like, I don't know if I like her but I can't stop looking at her and feeling like I want her attention. I play games online, such as IMVU and I feel comfortable to identify as straight. But then the doubt comes and I end up doubting whether I'm lying to myself. I feel comfortable with the hook ups, but dont give them my personal info. Ive watched gay porn before and I have never really got rock hard turned to gay porn, but I have been turned on by the hairy bellies and naval. In gay pirn, I mostly get turned by the sexual act and sometimes the people, but never rock hard. But now, I don't get turned as much by males anymore. If I see a belly with an inner belly button, I may get a little bit turned on or not at all. I search topless men everyday just to prove to myself that I'm not really getting turned on. Sometimes it makes me feel as if I may be forcing myself and I'm not. I am very insecure about myself and how I look, and when I see a guy I think looks attractive by his face I get turned on. But now it still kinda like that but only maybe only a little bit. Sometimes I won't stop thinking about them and I imagine I'm them when I ****. In porn if I enjoy seeing the girl and then I see the man has an Innie naval, my attention turns there. This is really weird. Also most times when I get turned on by men, my heart beats fast and I get this warming feeling. I looked it up and it may be gronial response. If I sometimes see an attractive looking male actor, I become a little obsessed by them and always wish to be them and get turned on by girls the way they do. I read coming out stories but I don't really relate to them as much. I don't feel secretly gay, although my mind is doubting my sexuality. If I get turned on/a bit by woman and a little bit turned on/not by guys, then I'm confused. In GTA 5, i get turned in by the strippers when they take off their bra (getting a bit turned on ). I always imagine marrying a woman and starting a YT channel with them. When I see straight couples in school, I fantasize hugging my girlfriend and kissing her in school. Recently I had a dream about hugging my ex girlfriend and flirting with her and going out with her. I always feel like there is a very huge arousment with girls deep inside, but it doesn't happen. I'm not bisexual because I don't really have crushes on boys, only girls. I have taken a sexuality test, even when I'm honest, I have gotten straight. I got a 2 in the Kinsley scale and 63 or 70% straight, 20-something % bi and 5% gay in another test. Even though I'm religious (Muslim), I don't say I can't be gay because I am a Muslim. I don't add my religious beliefs into it, I chose to be straight. I told a gay person, whom I know in school about everything im feeling, but he said that I may still be straight but just not gay. I have tried other sexualities such as Hetero-Romantic Bisexual (I didn't feel as if I was Bisexual, because I don't like other men), Hetero flexibility (I don't want to ever have sexual relationships with men and I don't feel comfortable, even with Bisexuality, I felt as if I don't sexually want to be with men or even romantically). I tried Asexual but I don't think it applies to me. Help, im really confuse

    Wow okay this is long. You don’t have to label yourself as anything, just be attracted to whoever you are. I can’t help you, only you know who you have a crush on etc. It may take long to figure out and there’s no straight answer (see what I did there haha), but it seems like you’re not completely straight and that’s ok too. I’m not straight either (no idea where on the spectrum though) and honestly it’s so confusing sometimes. You’ll figure it out eventually.
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    • #2

    You're straight but you're absorbing too much BS at young age and it's messing with your mind

    Stop watching porn
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