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My boyfriend gave me an sti... should I stay with him? watch

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    Hello, my boyfriend gave me an sti. I’ve been with him for about a year now and since I’ve been with him and for as long as he can remember he has had night sweats. He went to the hospital to find out why these night sweats are as he has chrons disease and thought it was his treatment causing it. It came back he had chlamydia. I know he hasn’t cheated, he’s the nicest guy in the world. But he has had unprotected sex with multiple women before me and he hasn’t been tested. He said he thinks he has had it for about two and half years (since the night sweats started) and hasn’t known he had it. I believe him in the fact he hasn’t cheated and didn’t know he had it but I’m still so mad that he hasn’t been tested after the people he has slept with unprotected and then given this to me! This means I will have had chlamydia a year and I’m so scared it will affect my fertility because I haven’t caught it early. Do I stay with him? The thought of him at the moment repulses me, but I do really, really love him! I’m just unsure of whether I can get past it.
    • #2
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    Of course you stay with him, he didn't intentionally give you it, he didn't know himself. You love him more than anything, and it was an accident, and he loves you; it would be wrong to dump him now after what he's going through.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, my boyfriend gave me an sti. I’ve been with him for about a year now and since I’ve been with him and for as long as he can remember he has had night sweats. He went to the hospital to find out why these night sweats are as he has chrons disease and thought it was his treatment causing it. It came back he had chlamydia. I know he hasn’t cheated, he’s the nicest guy in the world. But he has had unprotected sex with multiple women before me and he hasn’t been tested. He said he thinks he has had it for about two and half years (since the night sweats started) and hasn’t known he had it. I believe him in the fact he hasn’t cheated and didn’t know he had it but I’m still so mad that he hasn’t been tested after the people he has slept with unprotected and then given this to me! This means I will have had chlamydia a year and I’m so scared it will affect my fertility because I haven’t caught it early. Do I stay with him? The thought of him at the moment repulses me, but I do really, really love him! I’m just unsure of whether I can get past it.
    If he cheated then that's a non-starter, time to end the relationship.

    If he didn't then wow... maybe have a bit of a look at yourself? It takes two and if, having known that he'd had unprotected sex in the past (as it seems you did) then why are you so outraged?

    You took a risk with him (as he might well have done with you, you don't make it entirely clear how safe that intimacy was for him) and ultimately it's worked out badly.

    Maybe it's time to end the relationship but "repulses" is a bit much.
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    Why didn't you both go and get tested at the start of the relationship? Then you would've both known if either of you had the STI? Personally I wouldn't have taken someones word for it in a new relationship.
    Also if he hasn't cheated then why break up? What benefit will it bring?
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    Go and get tested yourself and move on. He didn't cheat and didn't know, although it was incredibly stupid to have unprotected sex and not get tested.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, my boyfriend gave me an sti. I’ve been with him for about a year now and since I’ve been with him and for as long as he can remember he has had night sweats. He went to the hospital to find out why these night sweats are as he has chrons disease and thought it was his treatment causing it. It came back he had chlamydia. I know he hasn’t cheated, he’s the nicest guy in the world. But he has had unprotected sex with multiple women before me and he hasn’t been tested. He said he thinks he has had it for about two and half years (since the night sweats started) and hasn’t known he had it. I believe him in the fact he hasn’t cheated and didn’t know he had it but I’m still so mad that he hasn’t been tested after the people he has slept with unprotected and then given this to me! This means I will have had chlamydia a year and I’m so scared it will affect my fertility because I haven’t caught it early. Do I stay with him? The thought of him at the moment repulses me, but I do really, really love him! I’m just unsure of whether I can get past it.
    What you should do is take responsibility for your own health and make sure you don't have unprotected sex with someone who has not been tested again.
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    If he didn't tell you he had engaged in unprotected sex and wasn't tested then I personally feel that means he saw you with little respect. Out of respect he should have got himself tested to make sure everything was ok before having sex with you. If a person want to engage in sex at all, let alone unprotected, then its THAT person's responsibility to get tested and not pass it onto others - whether they think they have something or not.

    However if you were aware had had unprotected sex and hadn't been tested then its not fair to put it all on him. You took that risk, and it's also your responsibility to get tested regardless.
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    People have a past and are entitled to it. Young people notoriously make mistakes. You both, it can be argued, made a mistake to not get tested before you started sleeping together. As someone has pointed out, you might have brought this to the party. You have found out, hopefully before any lasting damage has been caused. Chlamydia can be treated.

    If you need to end it, then do so. Just make sure that you don't repeat the mistake. If you stay together, then do so.

    My vote, if you're certain he hasn't cheated is to stay together. Not that the vote of a stranger should make any difference.
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    I'd be mad, too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Of course you stay with him, he didn't intentionally give you it, he didn't know himself. You love him more than anything, and it was an accident, and he loves you; it would be wrong to dump him now after what he's going through.
    The sarcasm with this is crazy :yep::yep::congrats::congrats::congrats:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, my boyfriend gave me an sti. I’ve been with him for about a year now and since I’ve been with him and for as long as he can remember he has had night sweats. He went to the hospital to find out why these night sweats are as he has chrons disease and thought it was his treatment causing it. It came back he had chlamydia. I know he hasn’t cheated, he’s the nicest guy in the world. But he has had unprotected sex with multiple women before me and he hasn’t been tested. He said he thinks he has had it for about two and half years (since the night sweats started) and hasn’t known he had it. I believe him in the fact he hasn’t cheated and didn’t know he had it but I’m still so mad that he hasn’t been tested after the people he has slept with unprotected and then given this to me! This means I will have had chlamydia a year and I’m so scared it will affect my fertility because I haven’t caught it early. Do I stay with him? The thought of him at the moment repulses me, but I do really, really love him! I’m just unsure of whether I can get past it.
    :doctor:
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    See a doctor and get tested.
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    If he didn't know and was open about the unprotected sex I don't think it's fair to hold this against him. Plus if you love him, go see the doctor and try to sort things out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Of course you stay with him, he didn't intentionally give you it, he didn't know himself. You love him more than anything, and it was an accident, and he loves you; it would be wrong to dump him now after what he's going through.
    Spot on.

    And the moral of the story for the benefit of anyone reading this: both people should get fully tested before starting a sexual relationship with a new partner.
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    Get tested to make sure! I wouldn't break up there's no reason to if he hasn't cheated! People have unprotected sex, and that results in situations like this. But you shouldn't judge him for his past mistakes. Next time you'll know to get tested together at the beginning of the relationship!
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    I am gay and love sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. Hit and punch and hate and kick your boyfriend In my opinion unless.....he is really cute fit white skin nice tight butt and looks good shirtless and nude..then don't...but....do!!!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello, my boyfriend gave me an sti. I’ve been with him for about a year now and since I’ve been with him and for as long as he can remember he has had night sweats. He went to the hospital to find out why these night sweats are as he has chrons disease and thought it was his treatment causing it. It came back he had chlamydia. I know he hasn’t cheated, he’s the nicest guy in the world. But he has had unprotected sex with multiple women before me and he hasn’t been tested. He said he thinks he has had it for about two and half years (since the night sweats started) and hasn’t known he had it. I believe him in the fact he hasn’t cheated and didn’t know he had it but I’m still so mad that he hasn’t been tested after the people he has slept with unprotected and then given this to me! This means I will have had chlamydia a year and I’m so scared it will affect my fertility because I haven’t caught it early. Do I stay with him? The thought of him at the moment repulses me, but I do really, really love him! I’m just unsure of whether I can get past it.
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    It takes two to clap, in the sense that both should have got tested before, especially since there was past history (on his part).
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    (Original post by singzeon)
    It takes two to clap, in the sense that both should have got tested before, especially since there was past history (on his part).
    It doesn't take to people to clap. I myself clap with no assistance from anyone else.
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    (Original post by PerhapsPhysio)
    If he didn't tell you he had engaged in unprotected sex and wasn't tested then I personally feel that means he saw you with little respect. Out of respect he should have got himself tested to make sure everything was ok before having sex with you. If a person want to engage in sex at all, let alone unprotected, then its THAT person's responsibility to get tested and not pass it onto others - whether they think they have something or not.

    However if you were aware had had unprotected sex and hadn't been tested then its not fair to put it all on him. You took that risk, and it's also your responsibility to get tested regardless.
    You should never take anyone's word for stuff like this. If you get into a long-term relationship and want to use a different non-STD protecting type of contraception, then you should both get thoroughly tested for STD's regardless of what the other person says about their record (how many people they've slept with, when they last got tested or what contraception they profess to have used or not) because;

    1. You can never be absolutely certain if they're telling the truth.
    2. You can never be absolutely certain if they used their contraception properly.
    3. You can never be absolutely certain that everything was picked up in their tests (some diseases can have incubation periods which make them hard to be detected early on in tests).
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    He cheated on you or he caught it from you - you decide which.
 
 
 
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