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Should I be concerned about my friends odd behaviour? watch

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    My friend has been off school for 2 weeks now, everyone has been trying to contact her from texts, messages, skype calls, snapchats the lot. Yet she has not been replying. She has deleted all her social media including Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter. Gone completely. Everyone was worried so we reported her odd behaviour to the school who rung home her parents said she was ill.

    However the story doesn't add up. We think she has left the country as she reads our messages in the early hours of the morning, told her sports coach she had gone to visit "the homeland" and told her mentor she was going to Pakistan prior to her disappearance. Everyone worried she gone to Pakistan for an arranged marriage (she is a native there). She eventually replied saying she was "not great" but said nothing else. We continued to contact her and she was surprised that we cared and worried about her. We asked her what was going on and she told us she has been ill and will be back next Friday. It seems odd that she can anticipate when her illness will end!

    We addressed the deleting of social media and she replied saying it was distracting her from revision. Again doesn't seem to fit if she is taking a few weeks out close to exams.

    Should we be worried about her? How do we address her when she comes back? Her attendance is poor most of the time and she is very secretive. Any advise.
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    Wait till Friday and if she doesn't come the school will probably take action. u can't do anything tbh other than continuing to send her supportive messages.
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    This sounds worrying, with her saying that she's gone to Pakistan and her parents saying that she is just ill.

    Being forced to go abroad for an arranged marriage is illegal, so I would share these concerns with the school and push them into contacting the police to find out more. Also I would screenshot and save any of your chat logs with her as they could be very important. If the school aren't willing to contact police then I'd advise you to do so, as often emotional and physical abuse occurs when somebody is being forced into marriage, and given your friend's reply saying she's 'not great', I'd be concerned for her.

    Hopefully it's a misunderstanding and she's okay, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
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    (Original post by darkforest)
    This sounds worrying, with her saying that she's gone to Pakistan and her parents saying that she is just ill.

    Being forced to go abroad for an arranged marriage is illegal, so I would share these concerns with the school and push them into contacting the police to find out more. Also I would screenshot and save any of your chat logs with her as they could be very important. If the school aren't willing to contact police then I'd advise you to do so, as often emotional and physical abuse occurs when somebody is being forced into marriage, and given your friend's reply saying she's 'not great', I'd be concerned for her.

    Hopefully it's a misunderstanding and she's okay, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
    I see what you mean, but the thing is she is telling us that she is ill as well. When we contact her she completely ignores us or after several hours from reading the message, she replies telling us to stop worrying as she is in bed ill. The people she told about going were not her friends, but people she knew we had little way of contacting to ask. Like nobody is in her sports team and we wouldn't have reached out to her coach to ask if she was at training, it was only because she hadn't replied to anyone in over a week and had made no attempts of telling us or the school where she was. That we decided to ask. Her and her parents are telling us and the school she is ill. The school are not prepared to look into it, as far as they are concerned she is ill and that is final. I guess there isn't much we can do, if we keep texting her we worry she will block us. She has already deleted all social media which is the main way we contact her!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I see what you mean, but the thing is she is telling us that she is ill as well. When we contact her she completely ignores us or after several hours from reading the message, she replies telling us to stop worrying as she is in bed ill. The people she told about going were not her friends, but people she knew we had little way of contacting to ask. Like nobody is in her sports team and we wouldn't have reached out to her coach to ask if she was at training, it was only because she hadn't replied to anyone in over a week and had made no attempts of telling us or the school where she was. That we decided to ask. Her and her parents are telling us and the school she is ill. The school are not prepared to look into it, as far as they are concerned she is ill and that is final. I guess there isn't much we can do, if we keep texting her we worry she will block us. She has already deleted all social media which is the main way we contact her!
    Ahh I see.

    If she isn't back on Friday then I'd again push the school to look into it.

    If she is back, then I'd try to find out for sure what is going on. It doesn't make any sense for her to tell some people that she's going to Pakistan and others that she's ill, so she's definitely hiding something. If you show her that you're just doing what a friend would do and you have her best interests at heart, she might be able to open up to you. If you can see that something is wrong with the way she is acting or such and she won't tell you what's up, I'd again speak to somebody at school and share your concerns.

    Sorry to hear about this, hopefully it ends well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friend has been off school for 2 weeks now, everyone has been trying to contact her from texts, messages, skype calls, snapchats the lot. Yet she has not been replying. She has deleted all her social media including Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter. Gone completely. Everyone was worried so we reported her odd behaviour to the school who rung home her parents said she was ill.

    However the story doesn't add up. We think she has left the country as she reads our messages in the early hours of the morning, told her sports coach she had gone to visit "the homeland" and told her mentor she was going to Pakistan prior to her disappearance. Everyone worried she gone to Pakistan for an arranged marriage (she is a native there). She eventually replied saying she was "not great" but said nothing else. We continued to contact her and she was surprised that we cared and worried about her. We asked her what was going on and she told us she has been ill and will be back next Friday. It seems odd that she can anticipate when her illness will end!

    We addressed the deleting of social media and she replied saying it was distracting her from revision. Again doesn't seem to fit if she is taking a few weeks out close to exams.

    Should we be worried about her? How do we address her when she comes back? Her attendance is poor most of the time and she is very secretive. Any advise.
    is everything fine now did she come back???
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    One of my best friends at school was a female Pakistani. I’d known her from the age of about 8 right upto 18. Her parents tried really hard to stop her having any male friends, but we used to hang out in secret anyway. I never understood why they sent her to a mixed comp school with about 99% white British ethnicity, and then forbid her to assimilate with us.

    When her older sister came of age she was suddenly whisked off to Pakistan for a “holiday” and I never saw her again. I had a feeling it was an arranged / forced marriage, but my friend was very hesitant to talk about it. Then when she came of age, the same thing happened. She told me she was travelling alone to Pakistan for a “holiday” and absolutely nothing made any sense. The next thing I knew, she’d vanished off the face of the Earth and I never saw her again. Myself and another friend tried to contact her through social media and were told very sharply to leave her alone (we think it was a relative monitoring the account). We literally went from childhood best friends to not even knowing if she’s alive. I often think about her and wonder if she is ok and happy. I know she didn’t want an arranged marriage, and she most certainly didn’t want to lose contact - she just had a very manipulative and controlling family. 😟

    I know that probably isn’t a positive contribution to this thread, but it may provide an insight into what does occasionally happen. Hopefully this won’t be the case for your friend.
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    This better not be about who I think it’s about.

    (Apologies to anonymous if you have no idea who I am, in which case disregard this message.)
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