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I fear that I will be rejected for my sexuality watch

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    He will eventually give up. Or you may hide it and wait until they die. Maybe he will be a little sad not having grandchildren. Depending on the age he might decide to have another child lol. Who cares? Live for yourself.

    (Original post by adamantacademic)
    Also I do not believe people are born gay rather homosexual inclinations are a result of contextual factors.
    I agree with that though.
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    (Original post by Chucke1992)
    He will eventually give up. Or you may hide it and wait until they die. Maybe he will be a little sad not having grandchildren. Depending on the age he might decide to have another child lol. Who cares? Live for yourself.
    They are both mid to late 40's, so no more children.

    I personally couldn't picture him as a grandparent, nor do I see him really enjoying it, TBH. What may hurt him in that case is that when I was born and my grandfather (his father) found out that I was a boy, he was happy that someone could carry on the name.

    I can't hide it for however many years that would be. I will probably wait until uni. If I am not accepted, I'll cut ties with them and do as you say to live for myself.

    Still, it isn't a nice feeling knowing that my father is anti-gay.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They are both mid to late 40's, so no more children.

    I personally couldn't picture him as a grandparent, nor do I see him really enjoying it, TBH. What may hurt him in that case is that when I was born and my grandfather (his father) found out that I was a boy, he was happy that someone could carry on the name.

    I can't hide it for however many years that would be. I will probably wait until uni. If I am not accepted, I'll cut ties with them and do as you say to live for myself.

    Still, it isn't a nice feeling knowing that my father is anti-gay.
    It would be fun if he would say after your declaration - "judging for how long you couldn't get a girlfriend we made a bet whether you gay or not. And I won" ROFL

    Yeah, some people want to continue their lineage.
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    (Original post by Chucke1992)
    It would be fun if he would say after your declaration - "judging for how long you couldn't get a girlfriend we made a bet whether you gay or not. And I won" ROFL
    He probably has already made that bet . I have never been stereotypically masculine, much to his dislike.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The rights I am talking about are the right be married and other things which gay people haven't always had the right to do.
    Ok fair then.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He probably has already made that bet . I have never been stereotypically masculine, much to his dislike.
    Well until he tries to put you on the cross in attempt to purify I think you will be fine. (considering that priests are usually into little boys).
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    (Original post by Chucke1992)
    Well until he tries to put you on the cross in attempt to purify I think you will be fine. (considering that priests are usually into little boys).
    I won't allow that to happen. That would be just as bad as being disowned!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I won't allow that to happen. That would be just as bad as being disowned!
    He will take his sword and deus vult
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    I always feel as if I am a disappointment to him.

    The video of that gay wedding really made me feel reflective. Even if my mother accepts me, I still can't see her (or much of my family members) attending a same-sex wedding. I would be very surprised if my dad accepted me.

    Is it ever the case that when a child comes out, the parents feel guilty? As if they felt that they hadn't supported their child during the tough time that is discovering one's sexuality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not sure with my mother. She is a strong Catholic, but she does love me and I do feel that she would come around.
    I know that my father won't be good with it. He's made far too many anti-gay remarks. When I do come out to him, I will certainly be confronting him about everything that he has said.
    As long as your mother comes around it isn't all bad.

    If he won't then it's his loss, you aren't trying to alienate from him deliberately.
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    (Original post by Bio 7)
    As long as your mother comes around it isn't all bad.

    If he won't then it's his loss, you aren't trying to alienate from him deliberately.
    Exactly - his loss not mine.

    It would hurt me terribly though. Especially if I got a boyfriend and he wasn't recognized as such.
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    I also think that relationships with extended family would be put under strain.
    Ironically, it would be my mother's side of the family who would not be accepting, as they are all Catholic and being Catholic = not accepting of gay people.
    My father's side of the family is much smaller, and aren't really religious, so probably won't have too much problem.

    I am just simply unsure that I will be supported when I come out. I would hate to get married and not have my parents there.
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    I have heard that not really having much of a male role model growing up is a prime cause of homosexuality in guys. Do you think that this could be true in my case? My dad is there, but we have just never been that close.
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    Yea its great watching people you can relate to ; it makes you feel less alone. A lot of people been where you are.

    With regards to Marriage, I would say don't worry too much about it at this stage. Its a whole new world being gay. Just start with the baby steps of getting with guys, dating them and then maybe if it all works out Marriage will be on the table. Cross that bridge when you get there ; focus on you and being happy right now! Don't get too worked about the long haul ; you'll need experience first.

    Hope i am making sense.

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    I didn't see if you mentioned how old you were/what state of life you're currently in, but before I was outed my plan was basically to wait until uni, move out, get student loans or a part time job or just wait until I was at least a bit more self reliant than I was, and then tell my parents. I was unceremoniously outed by some girls at school and my parents found out, but ultimately I was lucky, because they got better about it.

    I was worried especially about my dad because he liked to make jokes/comments about me and LGBT+ people before I came out and would joke about the way I acted/dressed saying it was like a lesbian (I'm a bi woman) and the jokes/comments haven't stopped since coming out (if anything they've gotten worse because he was right). It's been a year since I told him and he's still going. He didn't speak to me at all for the first couple months and I'm still not sure what I prefer.
    It took mum a few weeks to fully get over the shock and she's still kinda coming to terms with it. She says she's fine but when I tell her I have a date she asks if it's with a guy or girl and she gives me completely different rules for each (if it's with a guy she says "have fun, text me by midnight if you're sleeping over, be back for school on Monday" even if it's like Friday night but with girls it's closer to "be careful, be back by 10, check in" which is ridiculous to me - she seems to be okay with my liking girls so long as I don't act on it but with guys there might as well be no rules)

    You need to base it on your setting/experience/relationships. I could tell you that it'll be fine if you come out and your parents will come to terms with it, but I'd only be saying that because it happened with my parents. If we have the same parents then they'd have some explaining to do. I was outed in the worst way possible, but things worked themselves out. You can't live your life hiding who you are, but you need to be careful that you don't put that life at risk by coming out. I'd wait, just until you have some form of self reliance, and then come out when the time is right, just make sure you have a safety cushion in case the worst happens.
 
 
 
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