Accepting you're damaged goods

This is exactly why I'm stuck. I've been lifting myself for years after having a troubled childhood and I keep getting knocked down. I don't think I can do it anymore.

Bro, life is a marathon, not a sprint. It's full of setbacks and you will be knocked down more times than you can count. What matters is how you pick yourself up from those setbacks every time and just keep on fighting. Whatever is going wrong in your life - it's nothing you can't handle. You need to try not to seek validation from others, particularly with relationships. Girls should be at the absolute bottom of your list of priorities - even many successful people with their lives figured out can't make their relationships work. Don't listen to patronising BS advice from girls that "negative attitudes aren't attractive". You should adopt the mindset of not giving a **** what anyone thinks about you, least of all girls. Keep your friends close, ignore the haters and keep focusing on yourself. Career, health, sports/hobbies, gym etc. Never give up or say you can't do it any more - there's always something you can do to change your circumstances and if you feel that you can't do that, there are plenty of ways to cope with stress. You are your own man, and you should never let anyone else determine your self-worth or confidence for you.

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

I get how you feel. There are so many things that have happened in my past, and still affect me today, that I wonder if anyone will be able to love all of me.

Reply 22

somemightsay888

20

Original post by TheBBQ

This is exactly why I'm stuck. I've been lifting myself for years after having a troubled childhood and I keep getting knocked down. I don't think I can do it anymore.

How old are you?

yep

Original post by CoolCavy

yep

I'm very sorry to hear this. Do you mind my asking why you feel this way?

Original post by Less(e/o)n

I'm very sorry to hear this. Do you mind my asking why you feel this way?

Depression and all the professional people say i'm 'unstable' so i would probably ruin a relationship anyway. I get a bit clingy cos have an eternal fear that everyone is going to abandon me so that probably wouldn't help either. Have somewhat of a complicated family situation and life thus far. Am not attractive, noone will admit to me that i'm ugly even though ik i am but they dont want to lie either so they just say 'your fine' and homosexuality makes it harder to find people cos most girls want a boyfriend not a girlfriend and i dont know where to find them since am socially awkward and the LGBT soc at my uni isnt very good

Reply 26

TheBBQ

OP

21

Original post by somemightsay888

How old are you?

About to be 25.

Original post by Anonymous

I get how you feel. There are so many things that have happened in my past, and still affect me today, that I wonder if anyone will be able to love all of me.

Original post by asif007

Bro, life is a marathon, not a sprint. It's full of setbacks and you will be knocked down more times than you can count. What matters is how you pick yourself up from those setbacks every time and just keep on fighting. Whatever is going wrong in your life - it's nothing you can't handle. You need to try not to seek validation from others, particularly with relationships. Girls should be at the absolute bottom of your list of priorities - even many successful people with their lives figured out can't make their relationships work. Don't listen to patronising BS advice from girls that "negative attitudes aren't attractive". You should adopt the mindset of not giving a **** what anyone thinks about you, least of all girls. Keep your friends close, ignore the haters and keep focusing on yourself. Career, health, sports/hobbies, gym etc. Never give up or say you can't do it any more - there's always something you can do to change your circumstances and if you feel that you can't do that, there are plenty of ways to cope with stress. You are your own man, and you should never let anyone else determine your self-worth or confidence for you.

This is what I do. I have a good part time job and potentially a summer internship and graduate role ready for me, and I go to gym 3 times a week. Things are going well outside and but I still feel damaged or hurt inside.

But this whole issue just keeps crawling back. I carry on, but I know it isn't healthy or isn't going to help me.

Thank you. I hope you're right.

Reply 27

TheBBQ

OP

21

I think at this point I've started to accept that I'll be alone due to my past, I've always been pretty lonely, I guess that coming to the end of my undergrad has helped somewhat since university is supposed to be when you socially flourish, there won't really be as much of an expectation as before.

Although the pressure from my parents won't help, I think I'll be a little better off.

Reply 28

Lemonsponge

13

Original post by TheBBQ

I think at this point I've started to accept that I'll be alone due to my past, I've always been pretty lonely, I guess that coming to the end of my undergrad has helped somewhat since university is supposed to be when you socially flourish, there won't really be as much of an expectation as before.

Although the pressure from my parents won't help, I think I'll be a little better off.