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Why does this break up doesn't feel like a break up? watch

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    We were together for 1 year, i became very dependent on him but sadly we are both toxic people, he is manipulative and have bad temper while I am needy and have bad self esteem. We had a big fight last Sunday mostly because I was tired of all the problems (not just with him but also my family and other things)so he broke up with me and then he left to his friend´s house to be alone and have some peace. This week has been hard but we spoke today over the phone and it was like when we were together, we talked for 1 hour and he says he doesn't want to erase me from his life and that he still believes than in the future when we will be better with ourselves (I started therapy this week to fix my self esteem and cut the emotional dependence) we could be together.

    He said that we should leave some time with no contact since we just broke up a week ago and I suggested 1 month to heal myself but it was all super friendly and we still love each other a lot but right now we have a lot of problems around us and of course we keep hurting each other. But I do not know what will happen after this month (he also said that it could be less time) and I do not want to get my hopes up.
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    (Original post by Liss_9096)
    We were together for 1 year, i became very dependent on him but sadly we are both toxic people, he is manipulative and have bad temper while I am needy and have bad self esteem. We had a big fight last Sunday mostly because I was tired of all the problems (not just with him but also my family and other things)so he broke up with me and then he left to his friend´s house to be alone and have some peace. This week has been hard but we spoke today over the phone and it was like when we were together, we talked for 1 hour and he says he doesn't want to erase me from his life and that he still believes than in the future when we will be better with ourselves (I started therapy this week to fix my self esteem and cut the emotional dependence) we could be together.

    He said that we should leave some time with no contact since we just broke up a week ago and I suggested 1 month to heal myself but it was all super friendly and we still love each other a lot but right now we have a lot of problems around us and of course we keep hurting each other. But I do not know what will happen after this month (he also said that it could be less time) and I do not want to get my hopes up.
    Sounds like a classic borderline and narcissistic couple! Whether you two are toxic to that extreme you said it it's toxic, try to move on and develop yourself.
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    (Original post by Liss_9096)
    We were together for 1 year, i became very dependent on him but sadly we are both toxic people, he is manipulative and have bad temper while I am needy and have bad self esteem. We had a big fight last Sunday mostly because I was tired of all the problems (not just with him but also my family and other things)so he broke up with me and then he left to his friend´s house to be alone and have some peace. This week has been hard but we spoke today over the phone and it was like when we were together, we talked for 1 hour and he says he doesn't want to erase me from his life and that he still believes than in the future when we will be better with ourselves (I started therapy this week to fix my self esteem and cut the emotional dependence) we could be together.

    He said that we should leave some time with no contact since we just broke up a week ago and I suggested 1 month to heal myself but it was all super friendly and we still love each other a lot but right now we have a lot of problems around us and of course we keep hurting each other. But I do not know what will happen after this month (he also said that it could be less time) and I do not want to get my hopes up.
    Breaks - whether people say otherwise or not - are often a recipe for disaster. Why? Lack of trust and loyalty during these periods are often the cause, when a person goes out or does stuff with the opposite sex you immediately lose faith and the relationship gets more toxic than it already was.
    He said not to get your hopes up - this shows he’s already emotionally packed up and left the relationship. You recognised it was toxic before it even ended, here’s your chance to leave it where it should be left because it can’t improve after this break, as that itself is already detrimental.
    The reason it felt nice talking is familiarity - and that’s one of the most common reasons but also the worst reasons to get back/stay in a relationship because it’s just fear of being single that keeps you from doing something that will change things for the better.
    You’re young by the sounds of it - don’t let fear of the future put you off being with someone else that could be potentially better for you.
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    1 month for healing is unrealistic. You need time to work with yourself and you need peace ,not a relationship with a person who is triggering you.
    The way you describe it there are boundary issues , that 's why you cant separate yourself from him.
    I come from a disfunctional family myself and understand toxic relatiins. Try to find yourself, to know yourself and ultimately to love yourself and get the support you need. As long as you stay in such a relationship you will not heal
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
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