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Flat mate habitually using my things instead of getting her own? watch

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    One of my flat mates, one of my best friends here at uni actually, has kind of begun to make a habit of using my things and I don't know what to do about it without sounding rude.

    It may just sound like a very silly problem but it's something that's starting to bug me and I don't just want to go off on her as I'm living with her next year.

    It's just silly things - she'll come back and take pieces of my bread, bagels after a night out. She'll help herself to my condiments without asking. She'll ask to 'borrow' some face cream and use up half the tube before giving it back two weeks later when I remember where it's gone. She'll come and 'borrow' some of my makeup - this part really gets to me. I could understand if she'd run out of something and needed to use whatever (makeup, food etc.) as a one off as she's buying another, but it's just as though she uses mine as if it's her own. These are things that I have worked hard to pay for. It seems pretty unfair to me that she thinks it's perfectly okay to help herself to my £45 makeup palettes - at this rate, she's ending up using them more than I do and once I realise, I feel a bit rude telling her to get her dirty little hands off.

    I'm unsupported by my family at uni and live off of my savings and loan and I work 40 hour weeks during the holidays to support myself. This is a girl that doesn't really know what real work is and thinks she has it hard working odd shifts during the holidays, and complains that she's used up the monthly allowance she gets from her parents.

    Any tips? As I've said, I don't want to come off as rude or spiteful but it's really starting to get on my nerves I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting either, but I think I have a decent point here.
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    Have a heart to heart conversation with her, tell her you don't mind the odd borrow but habitually using your stuff without asking is rude and unacceptable, I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate you doing the same
    • #1
    #1

    Next time she asks just tease her about it like 'haha when are you going to get your own'
    I had a housemate like that. I wouldn't mind if it was for essential things but sometimes she'd just ask to use my pasta and it's like ?! it's not urgent, just make something else.
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    Keep the expensive makeup and face cream in your room, don't put them in the bathroom. Don't loan it out. Tell her to stop eating your food. If she carries on you do the same, eat her food.
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    (Original post by axc5)
    One of my flat mates, one of my best friends here at uni actually, has kind of begun to make a habit of using my things and I don't know what to do about it without sounding rude.

    It may just sound like a very silly problem but it's something that's starting to bug me and I don't just want to go off on her as I'm living with her next year.

    It's just silly things - she'll come back and take pieces of my bread, bagels after a night out. She'll help herself to my condiments without asking. She'll ask to 'borrow' some face cream and use up half the tube before giving it back two weeks later when I remember where it's gone. She'll come and 'borrow' some of my makeup - this part really gets to me. I could understand if she'd run out of something and needed to use whatever (makeup, food etc.) as a one off as she's buying another, but it's just as though she uses mine as if it's her own. These are things that I have worked hard to pay for. It seems pretty unfair to me that she thinks it's perfectly okay to help herself to my £45 makeup palettes - at this rate, she's ending up using them more than I do and once I realise, I feel a bit rude telling her to get her dirty little hands off.

    I'm unsupported by my family at uni and live off of my savings and loan and I work 40 hour weeks during the holidays to support myself. This is a girl that doesn't really know what real work is and thinks she has it hard working odd shifts during the holidays, and complains that she's used up the monthly allowance she gets from her parents.

    Any tips? As I've said, I don't want to come off as rude or spiteful but it's really starting to get on my nerves I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting either, but I think I have a decent point here.
    Creep into her bedroom and feed her slices of bread while she is sleeping.
    • #2
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    (Original post by ugaaa5)
    Creep into her bedroom and feed her slices of bread while she is sleeping.
    😂😂😂😂😂😭
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    Stop lending her your things. Keep things like the face cream and expensive eyeshadows in your room where she can't get at them.
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    Keep your expensive stuff away from her and keep your room locked. If she asks to use it just say you can't afford to replace it with the extra use and hasn't she bought her own yet? Don't make it a big deal and it won't be a big deal. As for the food maybe complain that someone keeps eating all your stuff. TBH I think you'd be better off having a proper conversation and asking her to cut it out. She probably doesn't even think this is a big deal as it always seems like little things but they add up.
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    Keep your stuff in your room where she can't get them. And just say, "hey do you mind asking before you use my stuff? I don't have a lot of money to keep buying new things so it would be really helpful if you could ask beforehand". Or suggest "hey because you're using my stuff now can you give me some money to buy new ones, seeing as you're using them too, we should split the cost?" and see what she says.
 
 
 
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