i know most of you don't give a flying f about what i am gonna post but honeslty i just feel like i need to let loose. Honestly its not advice im asking for or anything , i gues s i just need soemone to listen. all of these counsellors and these websites honestly dont help for me personally. They either take too long to reply and it just increases my anxiety.
Ive been experiencing alot of breakdowns, random panic attacks and incredible amounts of stress these past months to the point where my brain has seriously stopped functioning in school. im just so WORRIED all the time and i mean ALL the time. i have been battling depression since i was 12 but i slowly learnt how to deal with it and i started to feel better in year 11. Then the few months coming up to GCSE it all went donw hill again and i got really bad break donws and panic attacks. sometimes i would chuck all my books and scream. i would cry all night. id beg God to help me and ease me. honestly i dont know why i get so anxious and depressed, i mean when i get sad, i get really emotional. some people just take the piss out of emotianl peopel but its actually hard, its just when u really cant control ur feelings. Maybe i have some really serious anxiety disorder but im jsut fed up of not being happy. if i am happy its always only for a short period of time. i KNOW everyone has bad days, but why is it ive been having bad days for the past 6/7 years. ok so thats a bit of how i feel.
now i love my mum, and my four younger siblings. i love them to bits they mean everything to me. my dad, obviously has the typical back home personality? idk what the word is i forgot. hes not abusive, hes just has a extreme bipolar disorder. its so scary man the way his mood just changes. he cna be the best at times but he can sometimes just go over the top on small small things. this affects how i am at home. i hate it. i constantly worry something might mess up and my dad will roar. hoenstly when i mean small things i mean like a flipping piece of tissue lying around on the floor. its quite sad, but i hate having that constant fear. i love my dad but i just dont know how to stop being so flipping shook all the time.-ok so thats a bit of family
now the main thing is i met the guy i want to marry when i was 15. ( im currently 17 and hes 19) i know theres gonna be the usual thinking of: "oh hes not the one" or "oh ur too young rn to find someone" like lol nahhh we were bestfriends since i started secondary. i honeslty dont even know how we crossed paths but its one of them things that just happen and r meant ot be you know?. and yes hes not a f boy most boys r but nahhhh man i wouldnt be wiht this guy or ANY relationship becasue im not into that stuff. but obviously theres a reason to everything. i know how he feels about me etc, we r practically married in our heads. his two older sisters they are Mashallah calm with me and him getting married next year. ( yes im muslim lol i'd say im quite a strict one too, but it can be hard due to my hormones and my constant anxiety to stay on deen but anywayyyys) lol. I know that my parents want the best for me and value my happiness so they will agree to me getting married next year inshAllah, however theres a BIG issue, and it honeslty might be one of the reason why im so unfocussed and worried.
his mum is a Hindu. (i love hindus dont ger me wrong my best friend is a hindu)
right a bit of his backstory now
his mum is hindu and his dad who is out of the picture is muslim. they both ranaway tohgether and got married. his mum convereted to islam then reverted back to hinduism after they divorced. now his dad has his own new family and he doesnt really care about my guy or his two older sisters. As his mum got married at 19, his siters also got married at 19- which made his mum angry but now shes calm with it but it apparently broke her heart cos she didnt want what happend to her to happen wiht her daughters. but anywho, to get to the point- his mum wont let him marry me young. shes against it. she knows about me but she has no idea we want to get married. i cant marry wihtout his mothers blessings its wrong. my parents wouldnt let me marry him knowing his mum is agianst it. so im jsut worring about that and it makes me sad, makes me cry. it hurts. hes always telling me what ALlah has planned will happen and he helps me stay on my deen but its heart breaking you know? i cant hoenstly i cant see myself with anone other than him, literally no one understadns me im being serious i cant go near another man without feeling uncomfrotable beacsue im jsut liek that. i dont liek it for some reason its weird i know but yeah. its just how i am. i hoenstly jsut needed to let this all out it may be a bit interseting lol but if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask and let me know what u think.
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Getting Married At 18 (muslims may understand a bit better) watch
- Thread Starter
- 11-03-2018 21:42
- 11-03-2018 22:08
Put your views forward, let the grown ups deal with the grown ups. Tbh, if the two of you want it, they shouldn't really oppose it without good reason. And might as well ask if you're sure about this?Last edited by SoulfulTwist; 11-03-2018 at 22:08. Reason: TDA Post Edit