Turn on thread page Beta

Does it matter if first time isn't with boyfriend? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So I've decided that waiting for a boyfriend is gonna get me nowhere, I'm nearly 23 so I've decided that I may just be casual about it but what's held me back for ages is the judgement from my friends but I don't want that to be a cloud over me anymore, is like losing it your first time a big deal as tv etc makes it or is it acceptable to just do it when you feel? My first kiss was great and unexpected but at least I'll have more control over this, idk, please let me know your opinions, harsh or not? Thanks x
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    it's 2018 now so really, nobody other than you is really going to care whether or not you waited for a boyfriend. Have you stopped to consider how many people around you (friends, people you knew at school/college, people you've worked with, etc) waited for a relationship versus just having a one-nighter or FWB? Chances are a lot of them didn't really think or care much about waiting.

    As long as it's something you feel ready for, you want to do, and with someone who you feel comfortable with, then there's no reason why it wouldn't be fun, and even if it does turn out to be less than perfect the first time that's not a bad thing (which is likely to be the case with a boyfriend too. I don't think many people would say theirs was anywhere near perfect, even if they had waited for their ideal partner. Films and TV programmes are a huge lie!).

    Maybe try going on a few dates and see who you meet (let's be honest, there are enough apps around, even if it means sifting through a lot of trash..). If they don't click with you, then just move on to the next one. Most importantly just try to have fun dating and try to relax. (Oh and obviously be safe too.. there are plenty of fish in the sea but you don't want to be catching crabs.)
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Er. it’s YOUR body. Don’t succumb to peer pressure by friends judgment.

    You’ll always vaguely remember your first time so if you want it to be special or you just want to lose it to a random guy, it’s your call. Best case is you can live with your choice.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I mean, if it doesn't matter to you then go ahead but the impression you give to your future partner when you tell them the truth (if this topic comes up lol) might give them a negative opinion of you (unless he's done the same as you). As the 2nd replier said, it's 2018, go for it if you actually want to experience it, not for the sake of losing it.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Nah. I lost it to a guy I'd only known for about an hour. We were both sober and I have zero regrets. I feel like sex is the make or breaking point of relationships tbh and was too nervous with my previous boyfriends to go for it, so doing it the first time with a stranger took the pressure off.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    I mean it's your body so it only should matter to you whether who your first time is with.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks guys for your response, I think this decision has actually put my mind at ease with things. Waiting for a boyfriend just made me feel stressed and seemed like the most 'respectable' thing to do well for a girl. The only thing is that I don't want to feel bad about it because I know like the first time 'should be something 'special' like they represent on tv and drill into girls heads when your young, I just want to let go of that mindset and just do as I feel.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JDieMstr)
    I mean, if it doesn't matter to you then go ahead but the impression you give to your future partner when you tell them the truth (if this topic comes up lol) might give them a negative opinion of you (unless he's done the same as you). As the 2nd replier said, it's 2018, go for it if you actually want to experience it, not for the sake of losing it.
    I will never even ask about my partners first time anyway
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will never even ask about my partners first time anyway
    just saying, you may not but your partner might?
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JDieMstr)
    just saying, you may not but your partner might?
    But I wouldn't want to be with someone who's not open minded, it's hard finding a boyfriend these days, he'll I still haven't had one lol so even knows if I'll have a future partner if I continue waiting in my 23's for something no one is really interested in.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    you're 23 so unless your friends are lots younger then they won't see sex as a huge thing anymore so they won't judge you for anything you choose to do, likeiwse any future partners probably won't care

    that said - be aware of the choice you're making, there's no reason not to have sex with a friend or as a casual thing but I'd sleep withs oemone who knows you're a virgin so they can be a bit more gentle and take their time otherwise it might hurt/be unpleasant for you, a ONS will generally only be concerned with getting in and out and getting themselves off inbetween
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    you're 23 so unless your friends are lots younger then they won't see sex as a huge thing anymore so they won't judge you for anything you choose to do, likeiwse any future partners probably won't care

    that said - be aware of the choice you're making, there's no reason not to have sex with a friend or as a casual thing but I'd sleep withs oemone who knows you're a virgin so they can be a bit more gentle and take their time otherwise it might hurt/be unpleasant for you, a ONS will generally only be concerned with getting in and out and getting themselves off inbetween
    Yeah I get what you mean, i probably won't go for a one night stand but if I'm talking to someone and we get on and it comes up I think I'll just go for it now.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 

2,904

students online now

800,000+

Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Poll
Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process
Useful resources

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.