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I don't think i should go to USA anymore. I'm too introverted and Depressed watch

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    Someone please ****ing help me. Anon please

    I have just been accepted to work at a job in the states with the help organisation of BUNAC (Camp america wannabes 2.0) However i forgot i am african and my parents actually don't want me to go. I've realised that despite their permission, they don't get the idea of going to america and paint me as autistic as usual. Although i agree with them that the money spending of staying in america for 3 months doesn't add up (The job offer is $3.75 per hour shockingly) and likely i won't make any money, I wanna go because i cant see myself spending 7 months at home doing **** all (I'm a loner, i have nobody etc etc) as i finish uni in march.

    Now my next issue is i'm not sure if i should go ahead with this. Despite this has always been the plan to go to america with an organisation like BUNAC for the past 2 years (i kept postponing it because i wasn't ready to go abroad) i feel like I've decided this during a heavy drinking session (i drink 5 times a week and i'm rarely sober).

    Considering i have to pay £620 for the program and $160 for J1 Visa, as an introvert and someone with poor social skills, i might get annihilated in america. I sadly don't make friends easily (or literally at all). Luckily the good thing is if i decide to go, i can **** off home whenever the pain is too much. The money situation seems to be the main problem why i'm ready to call BUNAC to call it off as getting paid $3.75 per hour and paying $60 per week for accommodation is not my ****ing cup of tea.

    I just wish i had a life and never had mental health issues. I probably i wouldn't be thinking of travelling to america if i was normal. What should i do? Parents secretly don't want me to go and keep mocking my **** life. Should i reject the idea and spend 7 months having no social life and playing Xbox 360?

    Spoiler:
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    Anyone with experiences from bunac or similar (like CCUSA or camp america etc) please reply
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    • Thread Starter
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