Turn on thread page Beta

Sick and fed up watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am really struggling at uni and in general. Throughout my childhood, I was abused extensively and this has impacted me, not only psychologically but literally in everything I do. The way I think is so different. Some of the things I do to the normal person seem bazarre and lack common sense but I don’t understand it at all. I feel like I’m so different everywhere I go and every person I meet I would do something so outwardly bazarre and embarrass myself. Due to this I really, really struggle. I’m in the limbo of not being confident enough to tell people why I’m like this but hate the unnecessary taunts I get from everyone about it. I feel so ashamed for having to go through something that wasn’t my fault and am lost at what to do. ( sorry for rambling)
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am really struggling at uni and in general. Throughout my childhood, I was abused extensively and this has impacted me, not only psychologically but literally in everything I do. The way I think is so different. Some of the things I do to the normal person seem bazarre and lack common sense but I don’t understand it at all. I feel like I’m so different everywhere I go and every person I meet I would do something so outwardly bazarre and embarrass myself. Due to this I really, really struggle. I’m in the limbo of not being confident enough to tell people why I’m like this but hate the unnecessary taunts I get from everyone about it. I feel so ashamed for having to go through something that wasn’t my fault and am lost at what to do. ( sorry for rambling)
    How much counselling and therapy are you receiving?
    Does the uni know? They should.
    maybe some survivors support group?
    Do student welfare know?
    Do you feel you should be at uni now or might it not be better to get the issue under control or at least more manageable?

    If I were in your situation, then I would start with something stable like the knowledge what was happened was not your fault and then work outwards to make everything around me more stable and resilient.

    You need to talk to people and get some help.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    How much counselling and therapy are you receiving?
    Does the uni know? They should.
    maybe some survivors support group?
    Do student welfare know?
    Do you feel you should be at uni now or might it not be better to get the issue under control or at least more manageable?

    If I were in your situation, then I would start with something stable like the knowledge what was happened was not your fault and then work outwards to make everything around me more stable and resilient.

    You need to talk to people and get some help.
    I 100 per cent agree that I should sort myself out before I go to uni. Thank you all this means a lot to me
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I 100 per cent agree that I should sort myself out before I go to uni. Thank you all this means a lot to me
    Are you at Uni or about to go?
    You really need to get help and speak to people who will be sympathetic and keep it confidential. Its a heavy burden to carry, but people cant help of they dont know. My concern (besides for your welfare) is it will hinder your studies.

    If you want me to find contact details for people that might have the expertise to help then let me know and try answering a few of the questions I put in my post to help me understand more.

    It really is not your fault and you should be angry someone has done this, but determined you can survive and overcome to have the life you want. It will be possible to heal yourself over time. People do.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    THank you so so so much. I am at uni but can take a break, this is exactly what I needed! I’ve nevr had any sympathy for it and always got treated ignorantly and abused for it and this has prevented me from seeking help. It’s so nice that someone can’t tell you it’s not your fault and not normal and can give you some good advice. And yes please, if you could find the contacts that would be really great that I you so much!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Talking about these issues is the very best way to start working things out. When you figure out that you are not the first to have these feelings, not the first to feel lost and not the first person who is struggling to see the place where they fit in. I have personally been to the darkest depths mentally, to the very edge. If i can help, please get in touch.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    You're not alone.
    I was neglected, beaten, and harrassed by multiple people from my family. Something also happened this year, that brought all my memories back in my head, and it almost made me give up on it all. People's faces would change on the streets, as if they would look very evil at me. Shadows began changing in very monstrous things. In my peripheral vision, some objects would begin to have very horrifying shapes.
    All I can say is, don't be ashamed. Don't take the blame on yourself. I've reached the point where I had suffered so much in my life, and how my experiences affected me, that I refused to suffer any longer. I try my best to tell people why I might be like this. If they're willing to understand, fine. If they don't, I don't bother. All my life I tried seeking approval from people that had belittled me, people from my own blood, why should I care about some random people I will probably never have to deal with later in my life. Focus on yourself, and your wellbeing. It sounds narcissistic, but I don't see it that way. I became very depressed when I realised how my childhood experiences affected my current reactions as a person. I would become aggressive and defensive if I felt threatened in any way. I was used with that kind of Hobbesian order, where if I needed protection, I had to fight for it with my bare hands. I decided I didn't want to be one of the monsters that had raised me. I'm nowhere near recovery, but the hope that one day I will have grown out of it, defeated my past and moved on with my life keeps me going. I hope you will too, you deserve all the best.

    Take care
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by LaMandarine)
    You're not alone.
    I was neglected, beaten, and harrassed by multiple people from my family. Something also happened this year, that brought all my memories back in my head, and it almost made me give up on it all. People's faces would change on the streets, as if they would look very evil at me. Shadows began changing in very monstrous things. In my peripheral vision, some objects would begin to have very horrifying shapes.
    All I can say is, don't be ashamed. Don't take the blame on yourself. I've reached the point where I had suffered so much in my life, and how my experiences affected me, that I refused to suffer any longer. I try my best to tell people why I might be like this. If they're willing to understand, fine. If they don't, I don't bother. All my life I tried seeking approval from people that had belittled me, people from my own blood, why should I care about some random people I will probably never have to deal with later in my life. Focus on yourself, and your wellbeing. It sounds narcissistic, but I don't see it that way. I became very depressed when I realised how my childhood experiences affected my current reactions as a person. I would become aggressive and defensive if I felt threatened in any way. I was used with that kind of Hobbesian order, where if I needed protection, I had to fight for it with my bare hands. I decided I didn't want to be one of the monsters that had raised me. I'm nowhere near recovery, but the hope that one day I will have grown out of it, defeated my past and moved on with my life keeps me going. I hope you will too, you deserve all the best.

    Take care
    I really emphasise with your story and it is something I can relate to. Never feel like you have to explain yourself to people or say something that you don’t feel comfortable with!! Screw people- if they don’t understand that’s their issue. Thanks for the support I needed to be reassured it’s not my fault as I get so much abuse for it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by (math))
    Talking about these issues is the very best way to start working things out. When you figure out that you are not the first to have these feelings, not the first to feel lost and not the first person who is struggling to see the place where they fit in. I have personally been to the darkest depths mentally, to the very edge. If i can help, please get in touch.
    Thank you . I have applied for talking therapy with the nhs but the waiting lists are long and counselling sessions are one hour every two weeks. I want to have somebody to constantly talk to but don’t want to feel like I’m a burden
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 14, 2018
Poll
Who is most responsible for your success at university

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.