For a long time now, I've been feeling fat, sad, ugly and boring. At first I thought everything was down to my size, and if I lost weight I would be happy. I've been on a diet many times, ever since I was 11 years old. I have lost weight obviously, and have been down to a size 6/8. (I am a girl btw)
However, even though I lost weight, I still felt ugly, boring and sad.
I am currently a size 10/12, but I feel huge. I feel like my legs are like tree trunks(especially the top part), and feel like my stomach is a huge layer of insulation blubber. I probably will diet/exercise soon, but I know I will still feel the same.
I always wear the same jeans, as I think any other jeans/trousers would make me look disgusting.I always wear huge baggy jumpers, and a coat to hide my stomach.
I told one of my only close friends if I was really fat, and she said I look normal, but I think she is just trying to be polite. However I have been very large at some points in my life, and whenever I think about these times, I begin to cry, and think how much I wasted my life.
Whenever I get invited to go out to the cinema/ice skating with friends, I always try to come up with excuses, as I always feel gross and fat, which will make me really upset. Even if I do go, I will think about it later, and cry.
I also hate the summer, and stay at home most of the time, as I will never just wear a t-shirt, as I am self-concious about my stomach and front. Also shopping is a big issue, as whenever I walk into a shop, I can just feel my eyes swelling up with tears. I also hate public transport so much, and will always sit in the corner, usually the granny seats,with my head down, if I absolutley have to take the bus. Also if I have to go anywhere, I always try to plan to take the most quiet route,and usually go very early to avoid people.
I am also quite ugly. I have a bit of acne on and around my nose, which I think is very noticeable, and makes me want to bow my head down most of the time. My hair is also frizzy and torn.
Another thing is that I feel very boring. On the rare occasion I have tried to talk to new people, but they answer briefly, and sometimes answer back with a face, as if they're trying to say I'm a weirdo.
Also, I don't know if this is true, but I think some girls in my school are laughing at me, as they do whenever I walk past. I feel like some girls in the younger years are also laughing at me. This is why I hate walking around school.
The thing is, I have tried so hard to be confident, and keep telling myself to not be stupid. But every time, I end up on my bed, with my head under the pillow, crying my eyes out. I don't seem to enjoy anything. And this has been going for years now.
I also like to listen to sad music when I am at my worst, but this just makes me even more sad.
Please can someone, who maybe has been through something similar, give me some advice to help me get better. Even if it will make me a teeny tiny bit more happier, I will be forever grateful.
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- Thread Starter
- 12-03-2018 08:02
- Community Assistant
- 12-03-2018 13:38
- 12-03-2018 13:45
You are those things only because you believe and agree with them. If you want to do something then do it. Do some exercises or dieting whatever you know will work but will not ruin other things. Go ice skating or whatever with your friends, don't make excuses to get out of it. I doubt they will care if you are fat at the moment or not. By doing this you will, most likely, feel a lot better.
Do something you enjoy and maybe even join a community that you like. (Like a society or group.)
Think positively and you will look positive and better. Smiling is a good way to look better, do more of it.
Tell someone close to you about your struggles, as many as you can so that you can get it off your chest and you will feel better afterwards. (Such as your mum, Brother or GP, etc.)
- 12-03-2018 13:49
Sounds like anorexia and depression.